Wednesday, November 30, 2005

TV Thoughts

It's funny to hear Martha talk about her home being called Turkey Hill because Turkey Hill is a convenience store. When they say "We're going to Turkey Hill," it's some grand thing. When we say it, it means we're out of cigarettes.

I'm back to hating Jim. My cynical self should have known he was just strategizing when he helped Marcela, but I wanted to believe he was an actual human. And Marcela is totally my fauxlebrity crush. I love her personality, her clothes, the fact that she's a cook and a Pink Floyd fan, and she's cute as a button!

I am hereby issuing a cease and desist order to Jim's eyebrows. And Jim, Jenny G hates when people talk about themselves in the 3rd person.

Bwahahaha! Martha burned herself on a baking dish! She's human!

Wow, Matchstick's presentation was goofy.

As if I needed another reason why The Office is the best show ever, several of the actors have Myspace pages. Myspace sucks major ass, but still. Here are the pages of Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam, BJ Novak, who plays Ryan, and also Kevin, Angela, and Toby (Sorry, didn't feel like IMDB-ing them). On what other show do the actors actually take time to make a page like that without getting paid? They answer people's questions and give behind the scenes information.


I haven't watched Sandra Lee in a while, but I see that she hasn't changed her cooking style. She made beef stew and said something about how it's so easy to cook with vegetables because they come in cans. Yeah... Then she said something about something being a good meal, "and speaking of meals, Imona make some turkey chili." Huh? To go along with her chili she made a cornbread topping with mexicorn in it (vomit). Then when she went to take her "cornbread" out of the pan, she said, "See how it doesn't stick?" as the camera showed the bread sticking to the pan. I shouldn't be making fun, because right now in my oven I have a pizza made from Pillsbury pizza crust. But it's ok because it's topped with fresh tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil. And besides, I work 8.5 hours a day and have about an hour and 45 minutes of commuting time, so whatev.

No Truer Words...

Said to me the other day by Chris,

"You're like the United Nations of hate."

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Sunday, November 27, 2005

For Someone Else Special


Friday, November 25, 2005

Black Friday

10 Things I Would Rather Do Than Go Shopping on Black Friday:

1. Have a one-on-one conversation with George Bush for 2 hours.
2. Gouge my eyes out with a spork.
3. Have sex with Rush Limbaugh.
4. Drink a whole case of
Jones Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto soda.
5. Run naked around the block.
6. Listen to the entire Black Eyed Peas' discography.
7. Hide in the chamber of an outhouse toilet.

8. Watch all of
Steven Seagal's movies.
9. Enter a room with 1,000 German Shepherds.
10. Sit on my ass at home watching Season 1, Disc 2 of ER, which is what I'm going to do.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Feliz Dia de Gracias!

I've decided to combine the obligatory "What I'm thankful for" and shoutout posts into one. I'm thankful for these friends, both real and blog:

Chris for fixing my internet connection after he screws it up, for attempting to beat me at Game Cube games, and for complaining about what I make for dinner almost every night, and for having already seen every single thing I show him (come on, did you really think I'd do a sappy shout-out?).

MR (aka Rusty), of Off the Pace, for being my best friend for 18 (give or take) years, for being there through life's sucky and non-sucky times, and for putting up with my shit (or at least pretending to) unconditionally. We'll still be friends when we're wearing whimsical animal shirts...oh wait :).

Liz, for being fun to hang out with, for keeping me abreast of the Memorial Hospital goings-on, for being willing to watch gross movies with me, for making me laugh, and for being willing to come over to my house even though Chris is there.

Kate, of the Catbird Journal, for her absolutely gorgeous pictures and for showing us all that librarians can be cool. Your blog makes me want to dig in the earth and get my hands dirty.

Dim, of Dim City, for making me laugh hysterically at work, causing others to wonder about my sanity and for saying the things that I think, but in a way that is much better than I could ever say them.

Feather, of Feather, for her cute stories about her nephew and her cats. And of course, it's always nice to find a fellow Surreal Life watcher :).

March to the Sea, of Random Musings, for making me laugh, putting my music snobbery to shame, and, most importantly, showing me the auction of the God Warrior.

Saga of a Defiant Goddess, for her great insight, interesting stories, and posts that make us think. You already have a ton of fans before your album has even come out.

Katiedid, of Seldom Nice Nowadays, for introducing me to some of the more...interesting...things that can be found on the internet. Plus, she's a fellow TWoPer.

J, of Tastes Like Burning, for his awesome sense of humor, his Poetry by Dythandra, and the Cynical Career Counselor. He also wins for the best blog title, since that's one of my favorite Simpsons quotes :).

Urban Chick of the blog of the same name, for her candor, humor (am I sensing a trend?), and her pictures of gorgeous shoes (and not-so-gorgeous hot pants). If I ever get to London, we'll have to meet for tea or a pint!

I'm Dreaming of a White Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Office

Well, the people on TWoP didn't like The Office last night, but I did. Loved seeing Jim's house, loved Jim and Pam together, loved Dwight's, "Do I have access to their medical files?" I love how Jim threw the party so that his roommate could see that Dwight is, in fact, real.

Dwight: "You don't work at the office."
Jim's roommate: "You must be Dwight."

Angela and Dwight didn't creep me out because I was prepared for it and because I was too busy admiring Angela's shoes. Is it sad that I have the same taste in shoes as Angela?

Last night's episode was directed by Paul Fieg, who also directed Freaks and Geeks, another of the greatest TV shows of all time. I'm just really worried that The Office will be cancelled at the end of this season and there will be no closure. In Freaks and Geeks there was no closure. Lindsey decided to ditch her math conference to follow the Dead (if I'm remembering correctly) and we never got to see what happened after that. I hate that! Even if it's an ending I don't like, I need an ending. I think it's lazy to leave readers/viewers hanging on purpose. Let's hope NBC gives The Office at least one more season so Jim and Pam can get together.

On a semi-related note, John Krasinski will be playing in the
NBA celebrity basketball game. I haven't heard of a lot of those people, but whoever wrote that list needs to be fired. Way not to edit your work. John's last name is spelled wrong, and Donald Faison is from the show "Scurbs." I don't know who Kevin Hart is, but apparently he's an "actor/comdeian." Geez.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


In case anyone is following and is interested, the case of David Ludwig made Court TV's Crime Library.

Today and tomorrow are going to be pretty boring and pointless at work. Not that every day isn't...

There was some tool who called in to the radio this morning talking about how The Office is stupid and unrealistic and My Name is Earl is so much more true to life. Ummm...yeah, dude. I'm not in any way saying that everyone who doesn't like The Office is dumb, but I can understand how some people wouldn't get some of the subtle humor. Same way for Arrested Development.

Monday, November 21, 2005


I read an article in People magazine a few months ago about an 18-year-old boy who was raising his 2-year-old daughter by himself, going to school, and working. The child's mother wasn't in the picture and he was actually doing a good job of raising the child. I just read in the paper that he was shot in the back of the head and died. I guess it was in our paper since he lived in Philly. He was quoted as saying, "If something ever happens to me, no one can ever tell her that her dad didn't take care of her."

Also, there was a fire at the vet's office near my house yesterday. Only one dog died, but it wasn't from the fire, it was because they put it in a cage with a pit bull.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Listen to the Words, People!

We were having a discussion on Off the Pace about stupid commercials that led to a discussion of inappropriate songs being used in commercials. "Dust in the Wind" being used for an SUV commercial was mentioned. People totally missing the point of song lyrics is a huge pet peeve of mine. It's surprising that I can even watch American Idol since things like Carrie Underwood singing "Piece of my Heart" with a huge grin on her face are commonplace.

"You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by BTO is used in a car commercial; it's about sex. "There She Goes" is used in a birth control ad and it's a song about heroin.

I have to admit, much to my chagrin, that I really like Gwen Stefani's new song, "Luxurious," although I wonder if any of the teenyboppers' parents realize that it's about being rich from growing weed, or for that matter, if the teenyboppers themselves realize it. I'm surprised they don't censor it on the radio, considering some of the other stupid stuff they censor.

I know that as soon as I post this, I'll think of a lot more examples, but please feel free to name your examples.

For Someone Special


Friday, November 18, 2005

All I Want for Christmas is...

This stuff:

I asked my mom for this. I know she's not going to get me all 6 seasons (the nerve!), so I asked for as many as she was willing to get me. I was determined to hate this show, but it grew on me.

These next few CDs are ideas I gave Chris. The Logical Song alone makes this album worth owning.

I think I would really like this album.

I know people rag on Coldplay, but I like them. It's possible to hate Gwyneth Paltrow and still like Coldplay :).

I freaking love the Doobies, but I didn't realize it till recently. Now that I listen to the radio all day, I learned that a bunch of songs I loved were Doobie Brothers songs.

One of the rare times I've liked a new band.

This needs to explanation, as Depeche Mode is one of the greatest bands of all time and is my personal favorite.

I haven't officially asked for this yet, but I would rather have this than any of the CDs on my list (hint, hint, Chris).

I'm pretty sure I got this because when my parents were on vacation I went to their house to vacuum my car. Their neighbor was picking up the mail and a box from Williams-Sonoma was on the table. Considering this was about a week or 2 after I asked for it, I'd say it's a pretty good bet that I got it.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Extreme Blog Entry

Why the hell does everything have to have an extreme version, which usually turns out to be anything but? I recently saw a commercial for Moisture Extreme Lipcolor. Lipstick cannot be extreme unless it rips your lips open and colors them with your blood. I have to remember to take the camera to the grocery store on Sunday to get a picture of the Extreme White Bread. My memory's failing me, but it may even be "Xtreme." I shit you not.

I read a
news blurb this morning that Michael Jackson accidentally walked into a women's restroom in Dubai the other day. Bwahahahahah!!

As if I needed further proof that old people should re-take their driver's test every few years, this morning I was driving behind an old woman who was apparently trying to drive in the left-turn lane, but was actually in the lane for oncoming traffic.

MR is going to kill me, but I'm actually starting to like Jim on Martha's Apprentice because of the pep talk he gave Marcela last night. Marcela is my girl!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Being the anal-retentive obsessive-compulsive person that I am, I updated my list of blogs so that it's in alphabetical order, except for MR who gets the top spot because, well, we have been friends for 17 years. It'll probably bug me that it's not in order though, so expect her to be moved down the list sometime next week :).

Why doesn't Blogger's spell check recognize the word "blog?"

Post-Office Thoughts

I think The Office is setting us up for a Dwight/Angela pairing. There was a veiled mention of a significant other on "Dwight's" blog, Shrute Space, on, and Angela made a comment about office romances last night. I was a little disappointed at the lack of continuity with Dwight saying he came to work even when he had pneumonia when before he informed Jim and Pam that he never got sick and could raise and lower his cholesterol at will. I loved this exchange though (paraphrasing):

Stanley: You have no analyze not only the words, but also the pauses
Michael: Did you learn that on the streets?
Stanley: Yes. In the ghetto, in fact.

This morning some jackass in a truck from
this company almost ran me off of the road. I was getting on the highway, and he pulled into the right lane exactly where I was trying to get on without signaling. I had to pull into the shoulder to avoid an accident. I finally caught up to him and left myself a voicemail with his license plate number. I drove slowly to try to get to his truck number, even going so far as to pull over to the side of the road so that he could catch up to me. I was going to contact the company about him, but when I got off the highway we made eye contact, so now I'm paranoid because he will know that it was me; not that he knows who I am, but he was behind me for many miles and he would know where I got on the highway. I guess I should just let bygones be bygones. I'm so tired of the way trucks drive around here though.

Jackpot! I just opened my desk drawer to get some Advil for a headache and realized I still have half a box of peanut butter meltaways in there.

I played the lottery again last night with my November coupon, but I didn't win.

Only 5 1/2 more days of work till Thanksgiving vacation!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Weather

Right now it's 60 and I have most of the windows open; on Thursday the high will be 45.

I have been listening to Virgin Radio Classic Rock live from London at work via winamp, and I absolutely love it! Well, until Alice Cooper comes on at night (afternoon for me). I like him, but the music he plays isn't as good as what Gordon Loncaster plays.

By the way, I still hate Family Circus with every ounce of my being. It hasn't been said in a while. On Sunday, Billy showed his father a picture he drew and his dad guessed what it was incorrectly. Billy ran away crying. I laughed at Billy's sadness.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Why Does Crazy Stuff Always Happen Around Here?

Teen Arrested After Girl's Parents Slain

A mayor who was involved in race riots in the 60s, a school shooting, intelligent design, and now this, which happened in a town about 25 miles away from us. A 14-year-old girl's parents were killed yesterday by her 18-year-old boyfriend who then either kidnapped her or took her willingly, the police weren't sure. They made it all the way to Indiana where he crashed his parents' car. Apparently she was fighting with her parents over curfew and the boyfriend killed them. It sort of hits home with me because I got into screaming matches with my parents all the time and as much as I "hated them," I would have been devastated if that had happened. Plus, this girl has a 13-year-old sister and a 9-year-old brother.

ITIM (It Sucks It's Monday)

Hey all! I had a pretty uneventful weekend. I watched Saw on Saturday, and that was some messed up shit. It had very good potential, but I learned that they didn't rehearse before they filmed it (why, I do not know), so it fell a little flat as far as the acting. Also, I love Cary Elwes, but the man cannot do an American accent to save his life. I didn't even realize he was trying to do one until I read it in the trivia on IMDB. Saw II is still in some theaters, but I think that might be a Netflix movie.

Chris turned me on to Shoutcast Radio on Winamp yesterday. I was using either Netscape Radio (which doesn't work 95% of the time) or Yahoo (which decides to randomly throw Britney Spears into my playlist), and both of those have a limit if you don't pay for them. As far as I know, there is no limit on Shoutcast. I've been listening to Virgin Radio Classic Rock live from London all morning; I love it! I knew Chris was good for something! :)

Friday, November 11, 2005


What a pile of shit this is! Keep Stacked on the air and cancel Arrested Development?! I hate Fox. This better just be a cut order and not a full-out cancellation!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I Rebuke This Blog!

I don't usually watch Trading Spouses, but I had to tape it last night because of the scary fundamentalist Christian woman. I love the editors of this show! The woman ripped up the letter that had the allocation of the money in it because it was "ungodly and dark-sided", and then at the end they wrote on the screen what they money was for and this sentence: "Upon further consideration, Margaret has decided to keep the money." Priceless. To anyone who may have caught it, get the hell off this blog; in Jesus's name I pray!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl

I could not be more bored right now!! I actually just finished taking everything off of my bulletin board and reorganizing it. I retyped some of the lists I have up there too, because some of them had some things crossed out or changed in pen. I also reorganized my desk and cut up some scrap paper (I give the therapists notes on a quarter of a sheet of paper). I think I might stop on the way home to get some wine to go with dinner, but only if it isn't raining. I have my book here, and it's really good, but it's not a book that you can read when you're constantly being interrupted, and I know that as soon as I pick it up, I'll get a million phone calls. Only about a half hour to go...


This is Chris's dog being his goofy self. He's the only German Shepherd that is allowed to come anywhere near me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I Love Autumn

Monday, November 07, 2005

It Was About Damn Time

The Simpsons needs to quit while it's ahead...well, before it gets too far behind, although I loved Moe's line after being turned into a pacifier, "Well, it's still better than being Moe."

Best. Family Guy. Ever. After trying to watch The War at Home and having to change the channel because of the laugh track (and the fact that it's a HORRIBLE show), I laughed for about 10 minutes (literally) at the "laugh track" during Cheeky Bastard. Some other things worth mentioning: The Side Boob Hour, the suicide bomber's doctor's note, Quagmire passing out at "Say you love eating red carpet", Stewie running over Homer, the FCC song, Sixteen Candles, "They allow Sarah Jessica Parker's face on TV and it looks like a foot!" Good times, good times.

Steven Seagal

Holy crap. The Glimmer Man was on Fox yesterday. There are no words. This is the conversation that MR and I had at the beginning of the movie.

MR: Steven Seagal is the worst. actor. ever.
Jen: (Wondering if she wants to remain friends with a person who watches Steven Seagal movies.) How many Steven Seagal movies have you seen?
MR: You don't have to watch a lot of Steven Seagal movies to know that he's a horrible actor.
Steven Seagal: (Delivers a line.)
Jen: I see what you mean.

Everything he said was delivered in the same monotone voice. In one scene there's some kid (Johnny, as we come to learn later) who is holding his classroom hostage. Steven lunges at him, and they go crashing out of the window. Immediate cut to them somehow breaking the laws of physics and crashing into a room via another window. Cut to some girl yelling, "Johnny, I love you!" I was confused.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


10 Favorites:
Favorite Season: Spring or Fall
Favorite Sport: Ice hockey
Favorite Time: When I get home from work
Favorite Month: May
Favorite Actor : John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, John Krasinski
Favorite Actress: Uma Thurman
Favorite Ice Cream: Ben and Jerry's Phish Food
Favorite Food: hard-shelled crabs
Favorite Drink: iced tea
Favorite Place: home

9 Currents:
Current Feeling: Bored
Current O/S: Windows ME (I think!)
Current Windows Open: 3 Firefox windows (TWoP, Ben and Jerry's, and this one)
Current Drink: Diet Cherry Pepsi
Current Time: 5:06 P.M. EST
Current Mobile(s) Used : Cingular
Current Show on TV: Bend it Like Beckham paused
Current Thought: Perhaps I should have lied about what I have on TV
Current Clothes: Jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt

8 Firsts:
First Nick: Jenny
First Kiss: Jason

First Crush: Some kid named Jonathan in pre-school
First Computer: Tandy
First Vehicle I drove: '90
Honda Accord
First Job: Bank Teller
First Movie I watched on Pulse Global’s print: Huh?
First Pet: Ginger the cat
First Shave: Don't remember

7 Lasts:
Last Chai: A couple weeks ago.
Last Movie: Elizabethtown
Last Time I Drove: This morning
Last Time Shaved: This morning
Last Web Site Visited: Ben and Jerry's
Last Software Installed: Desktop Weather, months ago
Last Pill I Had: A few days ago; I had a headache

6 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: Yes
Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: Yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: No
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast?: No
Have You Ever Broken Anyone’s Heart: I hope so.

5 Things:
Things You Can Hear Right Now: A leaf blower, a very loud motorcycle, cars going by, a dog barking.
Things on Your Computer Table: A bunch of post its, a coupons, my monitor, an ashtray from Ocean City that says, "Don't bother me, I'm crabby," a penny, a breast cancer pin, a thing to measure your ring size, a pencil holder, a mug with quarters in it, a paper clip holder, Tums, some notepads, a Linens N Things gift card, a Blockbuster gift card, and an empty cup
Things You Ate Today: Bologna, Cheddar cheese, a frozen dinner, and some chips
Things in Mind: New Simpsons and Family Guy tonight

4 Places You Have Been Today:
Grocery Store
My old supervisor's apartment (I'm cat sitting)
The gas station
My house

3 People You Can Tell Anything To:
Chris, MR, and Liz

2 Choices:
* Black or White: Black
* Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die:
Go to England


While these pictures of grass may not seem like something about which to be excited, they make me very happy. We had a massive dirt pile in our backyard which our landlord finally got rid of a few months ago, and he was supposed to plant grass, but he never did. My dad came over and planted grass for us, but it was pretty cold so we figured it wouldn't come up. Thanks to these warm days we've been having, it looks like we'll be able to use our backyard next spring and summer! The sun beats down on the front of the house all day long, making it unbearably hot, but the backyard stays nice and cool.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I'm Concerned...

about Donald Trump's mental health. I've come to the conclusion that he has Asperger's Disorder or Pervasive Developmental Disorder. The man has zero social skills. Have you watched him interact with people on his show? Hell, the other night he asked one apprentice if he was gay, telling him that it's ok because that's why restaurants have menus (I always thought it was so you could choose what food you wanted, but what do I know?), and asked another if he was a virgin, and then proceeded to tell the virgin how great and important sex is. Yes, this is a TV show, but when you get right down to it, it's a JOB INTERVIEW. How many of you have been asked about your sexual orientation or the number of partners you've had during a job interview? He also accused a person who made one remark that could or could not have been offensive of being anti-Semitic. That's a pretty strong accusation, based on one remark. Whenever he interacts with the aprentii, it's to tell them how wonderful his house/golf course/office building/wife/toilet paper is. Have you ever seen him have a conversation with someone that wasn't centered around his possessions? I didn't watch last season, so maybe that was the season of the sensitive Donald and I missed it. Martha Stewart is stiff as all hell (who calls their "good friends" by their full names?), but at least she is personable. Have you ever seen him interact with his wife? I don't think I've ever seen him talk to her, but I've seen him ask other people, "Isn't she beautiful?" I'd love to be a fly on the wall for their "conversations."

He also has an extremely inflated sense of self. We've seen his gaudy penthouse apartment where everything is gold (seriously, who can live like that?) When he enters the room on the show, horns blare. I know that was an editing choice, but would it really surprise you if Donald liked that and encouraged it? It's like The Emperor's New Clothes. The Donald (See? Another example.) looks ridiculous, but everyone is afraid to tell him.

But being the callous person that I am, a possible mental disorder won't keep me from laughing at The Donald.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Nice Try

I just got THE lamest attempt at phishing. Let me give you a little background. I don't have AOL, but my parents do, and I still have an e-mail address under their account that I check via webmail. I just got an e-mail from "Uknownsender@unknowndomain" saying it was AOL and that I needed to update my billing information within 24 hours or my account suspended. First of all, it didn't have anything remotely close to AOL's color scheme or fonts. Secondly, the link I needed to click to "update my information" went to, not, and the subject line said it was a Notice about my Aol Accountt." Thirdly, wouldn't it help to actually e-mail the owner of the account? Seriously, people. You're going to have to put more effort into it than that!

*Update: is goofy.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


I just got back from getting my brakes done. It was over $200, but my car now stops when I apply the brakes, so that's pretty cool. I drove my dad's car (Toyota Camry) today and I must say, it sucked! I had the pedal on the floor getting in the highway and the damn thing wouldn't accelerate.

The Office was awesome last night! I read that even though shows like The Office and The Apprentice aren't getting good ratings, they're bringing in a higher class demographic that doesn't usually watch TV, and advertisers really like that demographic because they have more money to spend. Let's hope that's true!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


I just realized that I must see LolliLove. It's directed and written by Jenna Fischer (Pam on The Office) and stars Linda Cardellini and Jason Segel (both from Freaks and Geeks) and Judy Greer (Arrested Development). It's like all my favorite TV shows colliding. Unfortunately the DVD doesn't come out till January.

I also want to see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when it comes out (and the subsequent movies if they're ever released). I have to re-read the books first though.

And finally, I want to see Rent. I saw it at the Strand-Capitol Performing Arts Center here in York about 2 years ago, and Constantine Maroulis was in it. It amuses me that I saw Constantine at a theater here in little ol' York before he became famous. I amuse easily though, so maybe no one else finds it as amusing as I do. It's my understanding that the movie has the original Broadway cast, so that should be interesting.

And finally, my man John Cusack has a movie called The Ice Harvest coming out soon. It may be a Netflix movie.