Sunday, July 31, 2005

"I Dig Rock and Roll Music"

I had this saved as a draft for a while, but after seeing it on Sticky's LJ, I was inspired to finally post it. Plus, nothing interesting has happened yet today!

Your Taste in Music:

80's Pop: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: Highest Influence
Classic Rock: Highest Influence
Progressive Rock: Highest Influence
80's Alternative: High Influence
80's R&B: High Influence
90's Pop: High Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
R&B: High Influence
80's Rock: Medium Influence
90's R&B: Medium Influence
Alternative Rock: Medium Influence
Heavy Metal: Medium Influence
Old School Hip Hop: Medium Influence
Ska: Medium Influence
90's Hip Hop: Low Influence
90's Rock: Low Influence
Hair Bands: Low Influence
Punk: Low Influence

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Image hosted by
Why, John; why?!

Do not see Must Love Dogs. Why John Cusack would allow himself to be associated with this dreck is beyond me. The dialog was forced, the acting was not that great (except, of course, for JC), and the story line was cliched and predictable. And for God's sake, there was a family singing scene. What family randomly gets up and sings at dinner? I give this movie 3 stars. 2.5 of them are because of John Cusack, .25 is for Stockard Channing, and .25 is because the main character's house was cool. Just don't watch it. *Spoiler alert (but really, you shouldn't see this movie)* Here's the formula: Girl is lonely. Girl's meddling family sets her up with various men and "hilarity" ensues. Girl meets John Cusack. Girl and John Cusack have a misunderstanding about another man. The other man randomly becomes an ass hole. Girl ultimately ends up with John Cusack after a "heartwarming" scene involving a dog and a boat. Everyone is happy except me.

The worst part is, the movie tries to trick the audience into thinking things have happened that haven't. For example, Diane Lane opens the door and flirts with a handsome man who we are to believe is her new beau. Wrong! He's her gay co-worker's boyfriend. What a perfect way to throw in some non-stale gay jokes! All gay men love manicures! In another scene we see Diane Lane in the passenger seat of a car. We are led to believe by what she says (which I don't remember because I was trying to remember if Red Lobster had call ahead seating or not) that she is finally with John Cusack. Got you again! She's not! My intelligence was insulted.

And of course, in the theater, we had to have the obligatory people who laugh at every damn thing in the movie!

Thank God I only paid $5 to see this. Even John Cusack didn't make it worth $5. Please excuse me, I must listen to "In Your Eyes" to get a better image of him in my head.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

A Glimpse Into Our Old Apartment Complex

We moved in February from a ghetto apartment complex into a nice, 2-bedroom house. We only pay about $50 more a month now. There were many interesting occurrences at our old place. We had a neighbor who we called White Trash Neighbor. He never wore a shirt and always had a beer in hand. He had the cutest daughter who was about 2 years old. My boyfriend's mom still lives at that complex and called us a couple weeks ago to tell us that she heard WTN screaming profanities and breaking glass while his daughter was yelling, "Daddy, please stop!"

Our neighbors across the hall were a bunch of college kids who were always coming home at all hours of the night drunk and screaming. They got evicted after an incident one night when they were fighting right outside our window and the cops were called. The next morning there was a trail of blood from outside to their door. One night the old guy who lived next to them regulated and the girl was crying and whining. Priceless.

My friend came over to my place one afternoon and said there was some guy sitting in his car staring. He was still there that night doing the same thing.

The pool was right outside our window as well. Some drunk fat guy used to always jump into the pool and then run away at 2 AM. One night there were a bunch of drunk people skinny dipping in the pool. To provide some entertainment for myself, I called the cops and then sat at my window and watched the proceedings. I didn't even care that they were there, I was just being my passive-aggressive self.

The complex liked to have pool parties. These consisted of drunk rednecks singing karaoke to country music.

Speaking of rednecks singing karaoke, WTN used to blast "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and sing along.

There were always ghetto kids outside breaking things, screaming, and playing catch in the middle of the parking lot. Things were always getting broken or defaced. Someone wrote "Bitch" on my car in the snow, which was weird because I kept to myself and only ranted to myself in the privacy of my own home. There were also always "Fast and the Furious" guys revving the engines of their pathetic cars in the parking lot.

Right after we moved out, a 15-year-old girl burned her apartment down at 11 AM on a school day because she was at home smoking.

I peruse from time to time to see what people have to say about places I've lived/visited. All of the ratings for our old complex are bad except for one. This is what the rater that person had to say. It has been unedited except to remove the name of the complex.

"make sure u move 2 (name of apartment complex) ---- wat da otha peeple think
nice as hell ghetto as ---- fun apartments are mad nice been liven there 4 6 years neva had aproblem." *Please note that while this guy said he was "liven there 4 6 years," he entered that he lived there from 2005-2005. Perhaps he meant he was "liven there 4 6 munths."

That pretty much sums up my old apartment complex.

On an unrelated note, I still have the TV on after watching The Price is Right, and now there is a woman on talking about reforming gays. Grrr...

I'm Addicted to Personality Tests

Trait Snapshot:
depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Does Logic Even Exist Anymore?

So I'm driving to work today, and traffic is at a standstill many miles before the point where it usually comes to a standstill. My first reaction when I see traffic backed up at a place where it isn't normally backed up is to switch from a CD to the radio to hear the Traffax report. I know that wouldn't be everyone's reaction, but wouldn't you assume that at least a couple of other people would do that as well? My man John Wilsbach tells me that there is a disabled tractor trailer in the left lane near a exit such-and-such and traffic is backed up to around where I am. Of course, not having listened to John, everyone in the right lane merged into the left lane to get farther ahead. They do this every morning, which leads to my theory about why traffic is always backed up in the first place, but I'll rant about that later.

After 20 minutes of going 2 MPH, we finally get to the crest of a hill. At the crest of the next hill you can clearly see said disabled tractor trailer, as well as one of those big signs that they put out to give instructions. This sign has a simple instruction: ------> . Please keep in mind that I could CLEARLY see the tractor trailer and the sign in a mid-sized sedan without my glasses on. Apparently I have superhero-strength vision, because everyone else decided that it was a good idea to get in the left lane less than a quarter of a mile away from where a sign was telling them to get into the right lane. Then, of course, they got pissed when no one would let them back over.

I'm very bitchy on my ride to and from work. On the highway that I travel, you need to be in certain lanes to get to where you're going. Granted, some people do not know this and are in the wrong lane. Fine. But I find it hard to believe that 95% of people driving on the highway at 7:30 in the morning are people from out of the area who don't know where they are going. I will gladly let people in from the on-ramps, but don't think for a damn second that I will let you in the right lane in front of me when you were using either the shoulder or the left lane to get farther ahead. I went 2 miles an hour for 20 miles in the right lane, so you can too. You knew you needed to be in the right lane, so sucks to be you, doesn't it? You people are the reason traffic is backed up in the first place. If everyone would be in his or her correct lane, people would not have to stop to let you over; therefore, traffic would move. See how that works? Ultimately I blame PennDot though, because they are the reason for everything that is wrong in PA.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Books and Movies

I recently finished reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen and watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape? A couple years ago, I got this bug up my butt to read Oprah's book club books (even though I don't like Oprah) and this is one of the selections. The book was ok, but I didn't like any of the characters, so I didn't care what happened in the end. What's Eating Gilbert Grape? was ok, but I ended up fast forwarding at the end because it was drawn out and boring. It's been a while since I've read a really good book or seen a really good movie. Does anyone have any suggestions? I still have Fight Club at home and Muriel's Wedding should be coming by the weekend. Will see if I get winners this time!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Emily Post's Etiquette

j.'s recent post reminded me of Emily Post's etiquette book from 1965 that I took from my mom. My mom was about my age in 1965, and was just about to get married, so I can imagine that she actually followed some of these things. In fact, she does prepare snacks when my dad has "the guys" over for cards. Here are some excerpts:

"'Do not attract attention to yourself in public' is one of the cardinal principles of etiquette."

"It is impossible to imagine a true lady walking on a city street either chewing gum or smoking a cigarette."

"When a man is taking a woman to dinner, he orders the meal after asking her what she would like."

A tip for the opera: "Both ladies and gentlemen may visit friends in other boxes between the acts, but the lady must always have an escort."

"It is against the rules of every reputable hotel for a guest to receive a visitor of the opposite sex in a bedroom without first speaking to the clerk and then leaving the door ajar...Noisy parties, men visitors at unconventionally late hours, or anything that suggests questionable behavior is not permitted at any high-class hotel."

"Decent women (or men) do not wear shorts or slacks except at resorts, in the privacy of their own yards, or for golf, tennis, boating, etc."

When you go to visit a friend, don't forget this rule: "If a servant has met you at the door, do not hand him your card. If he has not offered you a tray to place it on, step inside the door and place the card on the nearest table. A lady never pays a call on a gentleman."

Luckily, there is a chapter on what to do if you are invited to the White House or a meeting of the United Nations. I think I made a faux pas when I was invited and I slapped Bush on the back and said, "Hey, Dubya! How's that lying to our nation thing going?" Oh, if only I had read this book first!

One of the examples of names is Miss Spinster.

"The fat girl, alas, must give up wearing shorts and slacks in public."

This final entry will be a long one. It comes from the chapter entitled "A Happy Marriage," subsection, "The Wife's Part." Feminists might want to stop reading at this point.

"How many times has one heard someone say, "No one is coming in. This old dress will do!" Old clothes! Sloppy manners! And what is the result? One wife more wonders why her husband neglects her! She who changes her dress and fixes her hair for her husband's homecoming is sure to greet him with greater charm than she who thinks whatever she happens to have on is good enough.

The wife who smears her face with cream and rolls her hair in curlers before going to bed is not a sight that many husbands can endure. With a handy portable drier, there is no reason that hair cannot be dried while doing chores, feeding the baby, or paying the bills. The wife who prepares and sees her husband off to work in a dirty bathrobe, with hair uncombed and face unwashed, sends him off with a thoroughly unflattering picture of her in his mind. No wonder many a man has found his neat, efficient, pretty secretary more appealing than his unkempt, uncaring wife!

Even though a girl may loathe cooking, she should make an effort to cater to her husband's likes and dislikes. And no matter how noble he may be about claiming he likes it, she never feeds him frozen dinners more than once a week!

A considerate wife doesn't make plans without consulting her husband.

If her husband is the type who enjoys an evening of poker with his friends, the smart wife will cheer him on his way and even offer to provide refreshments for his gang at home when it is his turn to invite them there. She leaves everything in readiness and disappears--completely! But if he is bringing a business acquaintance home, she must be a gracious hostess until after dinner, when she excuses herself, washes up quietly, and goes to her room to leave them to their business discussion."

Here's how a conversation would go in my household if Chris thought I should be made-up when he came home:

Chris: "Darling, I do believe that you should put on make-up and a keen dress to greet me as I return home from a day at the ol' office."
Jenny G: [Punches Chris in the face] "Bite me."

Lazy Saturday

I want to see that March of the Penguins movie. I love penguins and they look sooooooooo cute!

The gayest man I have ever seen was just on Barefoot Contessa. MR - He was probably even gayer than "Oh wait!' guy :-). And because I know you hate Ina Garten, I wanted to share with you that on TWoP, they call her Ima Glutton.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Random Musings

My vacation has technically ended :-(. I had a good, productive week though. Right now I'm listening to "Just Can't Get Enough" from the album 101 by Depeche Mode. It was recorded live on June 18, 1988. I'm obsessed with the 80s. I think it has to do with the fact that I was alive for the 80s, but I wasn't old enough to remember how crappy things were back then. Here is a list of some nostalgia sites that I peruse from time to time. Children of the 80s, represent!

Classic Nick Online - Do you remember Pinwheel, Salute Your Shorts, Today's Special, and You Can't Do That on Television? I do. Go to this site to your refresh your memories. I am really hoping that Salute Your Shorts comes out on DVD, because that was my shit back in the day.

Whatever Happened To? - Self-explanatory. I don't know how up-to-date it is though, since it makes no mention of American Idol in Paula Abdul's entry.

In the 80s - A very comprehensive source of information on 80s pop culture.

Yesterdayland - This site has information about decades other than the 80s and is fairly comprehensive.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Keywords that have landed people on my blog lately:

music of mods poplar bluff mo (huh?)
fist in my mouth
semi homemade sandra lee sucks
sandra lee food network sucks
semi homemade cooking with sandra lee sucks (am I sensing a theme?)

I love "I'm Movin' Out" by Bill Joel. I wish I were Italian.


*Please excuse my pathetic Paint skillz. And please note the food (?) stain on Constantine's shirt. We have something in common! We are both total spazzes who are incapable of eating without dropping food on ourselves!

Had an eventful day today. MR picked me up at around 1, and we went to Reading for the American Idol concert and shopping. We took a wrong turn and stopped at a Sheetz to ask for directions. Then when we got back to the car some weird-looking gothic guy with braids all over his head came over to us and asked us if we knew anyone who liked uppers. WTF?! So we went on our way and did some shopping. I got a $100 bag for $10 and a $50 wallet for $5. I also got a pair of earrings, crocks for French onion soup, and a little salsa bowl (the kind that looks like a little cauldron). Then, after getting lost a million times, we found the Sovereign Center and went to the concert. It. kicked. ass. Say what you will about AI, but this concert did not seem like an American Idol concert. It didn't have the cheese of last year's concert. No one totally sucked, Nikko made Mary cream her pants, Scott Savol provided time for a beer run, and Bo ROCKED!!!!!!!!! I was sitting next to a woman who was there with her daughter and she and I vowed to fight each other for Bo, and then she let me borrow her binoculars when Bo was on. My kind of woman. My throat hurts from yelling for Bo. He's going to make it big.

An extremely huge guy who didn't even fit in the seat sat in front of us. The only reason I mention this is because the guy absolutely reeked.

Tomorrow is IKEA!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Late-Night Musings

I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again tonight because Chris wanted to go. The audience was much more annoying than they were yesterday (probably because yesterday we went at 1:45 P.M. and today we went at 9:30 P.M.). There were some kids in the back who I sincerely hope were stoned, because if they weren't stoned they were complete idiots. They laughed at EVERYTHING! Then there was a girl who gasped when Charlie found the Golden Ticket. Come on! These teeny boppers came into the bathroom while I was peeing and were like, "They don't have condoms or nothin'!" Then they left without washing their hands, and those were some nasty bathrooms.

When we got home we killed two huge spiders that had a web on the side of our house. I used probably about 3/4 of a can of bug spray because the damn things wouldn't die. I'll probably dream about them attacking me tonight. I left the porch light on when we left and a million moths flew in our house when I opened the door. I don't know what the deal is with bugs here. I might have my dad come over and sprinkle that stuff on the ground that's supposed to kill them. I sprayed around the door frames, inside and out, after I cleaned on Saturday, but they're still here.

18 1/2 hours till Bo Bice! My next post will probably be a concert review. MR, I'm wearing black so I don't have another food-on-shirt fiasco.

Buenas noches.

Monday, July 18, 2005


The damage from Target today was $87.20. I had a really weird combination of purchases: a pair of Levis, a pair of black pants for work, 2 shirts, Resolve carpet cleaner and a toothbrush (I spilled dish liquid on the stairs and it will NOT come out!), some paint brushes, windshield washer fluid, denture cleaner (I use it for my retainer), 2 hooks for in my closet, cotton balls, Simple Green, and an itch relief stick for bug bites. I should be banned from Target; especially so soon after payday.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

My Weekend

On Saturday we had the annual neighborhood crab feast. Nothing is better than sitting outside eating hard-shelled crabs and drinking beer. There was a cool German couple there, but they thought MR and I were teenagers.

Today MR and I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was good! And yes, Johnny Depp is creepy. I like Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka better, but I think I like both movies equally for different reasons.

I also watched Do the Right Thing this weekend. It was ok.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

My Life

"Cinderelly, Cinderelly
Night and day it's Cinderelly
Make the fire, fix the breakfast
Wash the dishes, do the mopping
And the sweeping and the dusting"

Thursday, July 14, 2005

What Will They Think of Next?

You gotta love the stuff drug reps bring. I love the disclaimer!

10 Good Ones

I had originally titled this "My Top 10 Favorite Movies of All Time," but that's probably not accurate. The best title would be "10 Movies that I Really, Really Like That I Can Recall at the Moment."

Reservoir Dogs
As with all Quentin Tarantino movies, this one has great dialog. I love, "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize." This is probably my least favorite of my three favorite Quentin movies, but I still like it nonetheless.

Pulp Fiction
This is my favorite of the three Quentin movies. Again with the great dialog, and Samuel L. Jackson is so cool

Jackie Brown
My second favorite. Pamela Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, and Robert DeNiro = awesome.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
I'm seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on Sunday, but I don't know if it'll measure up to the original. I love the fact that a city in Europe (don't know which one) is the setting. I usually fast forward past the beginning (especially the "Cheer up, Charlie" song) but I adore the parts in the factory.

Run Lola Run
I first watched this movie in The Art of the Film in college. It's such a high-energy, exciting movie. Franka Potente is awesome, and I love the way the German language sounds.

Breakfast Club
I know a lot of people don't like this movie and think it's hokey, but that doesn't bother me. It was the 80s after all. I still crack up at the part where Bender takes the screws out of the door and the hilarity that ensues after the principal finds out. "Screws fall out all the time. The world is an imperfect place." "Does Neil Diamond know you raided his closet?"

Rocky Horror Picture Show
I have the movie and the soundtrack. I think Tim Curry is unbelievably hot as Dr. Frank. I wanted to be like Magenta when I was in high school. Except for the elbow sex with the brother stuff.

Princess Bride
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." This movie has it all and has been one of my favorites for a long time.

Say Anything
Anyone who reads my blog knows my love for this movie, John Cusack, and Lloyd Dobler

Jesus Christ Superstar
I'm not a religious person at all, but I love this movie! I have the whole damn thing memorized (I own the soundtrack). I saw it at the theater in York with Ted Neeley (the man who played Jesus in the movie), and his voice was tore up from the floor up from all that screaming.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


When I wrote about Netflix yesterday, I was going to say that it would be awesome if they had the same thing, but with books. Then I found booksfree. Does anything know anything about it?

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Don't Look at Me--I Voted Against Him Twice

Wit and Wisdom from the Leader of Our Country
From The Complete Bushisms

"We expect the states to show us whether or not we're achieving simple objectives—like literacy, literacy in math, the ability to read and write."—on federal education requirements, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"Part of the facts is understanding we have a problem, and part of the facts is what you're going to do about it."—Kirtland, Ohio, April 15, 2005

"In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible—whatever that means."—On the president's time frame for shoring up Social Security, Washington D.C., March 16, 2005

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."—Brussels, Belgium, Feb. 22, 2005 (Thanks to Fred Kaplan)

"We need to apply 21st-century information technology to the health care field. We need to have our medical records put on the I.T."—Collinsville, Ill., Jan. 5, 2005
"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2004

"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings. ... "—Fort Belvoir, Va., Dec. 10, 2004

"I believe that, as quickly as possible, young cows ought to be allowed to go across our border."—Ottawa, Nov. 30, 2004

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo.

"Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a—you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

"My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate."—Washington, D.C., April 21, 2004

"[A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003

"I think we agree, the past is over."—On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."--Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.)

Things I Love

I'm not in a very snarky mood right now, so I thought I'd write a nice post for once. Here is a (non all-inclusive list) of things I love, in no particular order:

1. Netflix - I have seen so many movies through Netflix that I never would have bothered to pay $5 for at Blockbuster; some were worth it, some weren't.
2. Hersheypark - I know I'm biased, but Hersheypark is the nicest, cleanest, most fun amusement park I have ever been to. I know there are better ones out there, but I've never been to them. You should check it out if you get to this neck of the woods. Also, Hershey's street lights are shaped like Hershey's kisses. Cute!
3, 4, and 5. My trio of awesome stores: IKEA, Target, and Linens -N- Things. I hate clothes shopping with an intense passion, but I could shop for housewares for hours. Especially cheap housewares.
6. Dali - We were at the National Gallery in DC on a field trip and the woman who posed for Dali as Jesus in the Last Supper was there seeing the painting for the first time. It was cool. I hate the Persistence of Memory though.
7. Absolut vodka ads - I'm not a huge vodka fan, but I love Absolut's ad campaigns. I used to have my wall wallpapered with them in high school. They have a really cool
website too.
8. Music from the 80s - Everything from the 80s was somewhat ridiculous, but that's what made it awesome. I really wish I had been a little older during that decade.
8a. Depeche Mode - any decade. Love.
9. Blogger - I've met some awesome people and read some very intelligent and/or funny musings.
10. Say Anything - 2 words: Lloyd Dobler. No man can live up to Lloyd Dobler in the way that no real woman can ever look like a supermodel. One of my favorite scenes:
Diane: Are you shaking?
Lloyd: No.
Diane: You're shaking.
Lloyd: I don't think so.
Diane: You're cold.
Lloyd: I don't think I am.
Diane: Then why are you shaking?
Lloyd: I don't know. I think I'm happy.
11. El Serrano - I like supporting local restaurants, and El Serrano is pretty much the only decent place in York to get Latin food. Mmmm...Pollo Fundido.
12. My TV shows that haven't been canceled yet: Simpsons, Family Guy (well, canceled but renewed), Good Eats, and Arrested Development
13. My TV shows that have been canceled: Freaks and Geeks, Friends, and Sex and the City
14. Mis amigos - I have awesome friends.
15. The River 97.3 WRVV - My favorite radio station. It's what I listen to at work.
16. John Wilsbach - The Traffax guy. I just love him for some reason. Unfortunately he doesn't do Traffax on 97.3 :-(
17. Television Without Pity - The mods can be a little harsh, but I haven't had a problem with any of them, and it keeps the boards intelligent (for the most part).
18. Book Ends - The best used paperback store in York. It's where I get all my books unless someone gives me a gift certificate for Borders.
19. Advice columns - any and all.
20. Google - For helping me find all these links quickly and easily.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Observations from Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee

11:00 on weekends finds me in front of the television watching Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee. 11:30 on weekends finds me in front of my computer reading the Semi-Homemade message boards on TWoP. This show sucks, plain and simple. There are no words. Basically the show consits of Sandra taking some store-bought food and totally bastardizing it. An example of this is her Kwanzaa cake made of store-bought angel food cake with runts on top. Yes, runts, as in those little hard candies in the shape of fruit. Her website has tips on using food for romance. One tip is to sprinkle Pixie Stix on your partner. I'm not making this up. Anyway, after the bastardization she makes her booze. Then she takes her booze into the "dining room" to show us her tablescape. Here's an e-mail I wrote to MR after watching today, edited slightly:

Tapas and Tinis

The first tapas consisted of artichoke bottoms, roasted plum tomatoes tossed with balsamic vinegar* (which you can buy in the grocery store!), mozzarella balls (because nothing says Latin cooking like mozzarella [on one episode she used an "Italian blend" with swiss]), and pesto. Doesn't sound too bad, but she manic-ly sped through the tapas to get to the booze. A "little bit" of vodka (half a pitcher) with pineapple juice and Midori (I was so sad when I saw her take Midori out of her pantry--that's my favorite alcohol). She called the Midori melon liqeur, which it is, but you cannot compare Midori to melon Schnapps. The label was off, but I recognized the bottle.

*Note on the vinegar - she said you can use whatever vinegar you have in your fridge (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?). I personally keep mine in the cupboard, as do most normal people.

Then she made tapas with "pulled pork," coleslaw, and fried potato "chips." The chips were wide french fries. Maybe she's British. Maye she'll use pepper jack in her British cheese blend. When she put the "chips" in the frying pan, she stood 10 feet away from the pan and threw them in the hot oil while telling us to be careful. She took cooked ribs from a styrofoam tray covered loosely with plastic wrap that she told us she bought at the grocery store (?!). I have never in my 24 years on this planet seen cooked ribs on styrofoam trays at the grocery store. And I would most certainly never buy anything that was not tightly wrapped. She cut the ribs off the bone and chopped them. Sandra, that's not pulled pork. Then she told us to make sure we washed our hands because we were working with meat.** Yes, but it was cooked meat, Sandra. When she works with raw meat she just wipes her hands on a towel. She added the "pulled pork" to a mixture of a whole jar of chili sauce and a very large amount of chile powder and taco seasoning (????!!!!). She took the "chips" out of the pan telling us not to have wet hands when we do that (????). But at least this time she used tongs to get the potaoes out, unlike the time she used a spatula and her hands to get her crab cakes out of the hot oil. She put coleslaw on top (?!?!), but told us we could use potato salad (?!?!?!?!?!?!?), followed by the "pulled pork." Then she sprinkled cilantro on top. I think if I were eating those I would pick the cilantro off and just eat that.

**Note on washing hands after handling meat: I would assume that anyone who would watch Food Network would have an interest in cooking. I would also assume (and hope) that anyone who has an interest in cooking would know to wash his or her hands after handling raw meat.

The tini was "literally all alcohol." I didn't pay attention to what monstrosity of booze was in it. She also added ice, "just to cool off the alcohol." Umm... That's usually what ice is used for, Sandra.

Her last tapas was chicken salad in a pita. She used a store-bought rotisserie chicken which she mutilated while telling us that all we needed was the meat. Awww, I like bones and gristle in my chicken salad! Wouldn't it have been easier to just poach some boneless, skinless chicken breasts with some seasoning? But what do I know? She added celery, scallions, nuts, and freshly chopped tarragon. I can't properly describe how retarded she looked while chopping the tarragon. Alton, Paula, Mario, Rachael, Martha, and Julia are weeping somewhere. She then added mayonnaise telling us that the amount of mayonnaise correlates (not her word) with the amount of chicken. Does anyone not know that?!

The tini was more booze-on-booze action with one frozen raspberry added to cool it down. I can imagine how successful one small frozen raspberry would be at cooling down a gallon of room-temperature booze.

I could only stand to glance briefly at the tablescape, which consisted of butterflies and chinese lanterns. She had a bowl of almonds on the table. She said everybody grabs them and runs. Probably because they're the only edible thing on the tablescape.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Special Signs for Special People

Click to make your own.

For MR:
Image hosted by

For Liz:
Image hosted by

For Chris:
Image hosted by


All this stuff in London is reminding me of 9/11. I don't know why I was so affected by it, but I was. I didn't know anyone who was injured or killed in the attacks, although my boyfriend at the time lived in New York and saw the second plane crash into the WTC. I guess what it did was make all the world's turmoil real. We were sort of in a bubble over here with all the fighting and attacks going on in other parts of the world. It was one of the first times something like that had ever happened here and on such a large scale. I remember it like people remember where they were when JFK died. I was a junior in college and MR and I were living in our apartment. I went to a morning class and everyone was talking about the crash as though it were an accident. When I got home MR had the news on and we watched pretty much all day. I didn't want to go to bed that night because I was afraid something else would happen and I would miss it. I have pictures taken from the Empire State Building with the World Trade Center in the background. It's a little disconcerting to think of what happened to them a few years later. But that's enough about that; I hate when people beat a dead horse, so I won't do the same.

My thoughts are with you, London. Don't worry--I'll still be there in 2-5 years :-).

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Digital Camera

The bf got a digital camera tonight. Any requests or suggestions for pics?

Paranoia Strikes Deep

Why the hell is there a FOX 43 news van outside my house? Damn those Mennonites! I knew they hated us, but spreading rumors about us to the news... I'll have to watch tonight. I think I'll wait to water my plants; I don't need to be shown on the news watering plants in my pajamas.

I Do Not Heart Bugs

The good news: DEET is good at keeping bugs away.
The bad news: Bugs are good at finding the 2 square inches of my ankles that weren't covered in DEET.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Comfort Wins over Cheapness

I am unbelievably stingy. The only thing I'm really willing to spend money on is shoes, and even then, I'm happy to get 3 pairs at Target for $20. When I go to IKEA, I refuse to spend more than $5 on one item unless it's a piece of furniture. One of my most common phrases is, "I can get that cheaper at (insert name of store, usually Target or IKEA)." The house I live in now is the first place I ever lived where I had to pay the gas bill. When I opened my first $200 bill I almost passed out. Needless to say, I spent the winter freezing my buns off. I endured the heat over the past few days, but I've had enough. The A/C has been turned on. It is now 82 degrees in here, but I set the thermostat at 76 (my stingy ass usually sets it at 78). Right now I'm covered in sweat. I feel like I just got out of the shower except I'm not going to dry off. Ohhh, it just went down to 81.

I'm so excited for Martha Stewart's "Apprentice." I want to be her, minus the house arrest.

July Countdown: (the colors mean I'm excited)
8 work days till my week off
10 days till Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
11 days till crab feast
13 days till IKEA
14 days till Bo Bice

4th of July Weekend

Back to work :-( I had a good 4th weekend. On Friday, I went over to a friend's new house, got pizza, went to DQ, and got stuck in a massive thunderstorm. On Saturday, I cleaned the house and had another friend over for delicious picnic food and I learned that I do like canned baked beans after all. On Sunday, I sat around and did nothing until the evening when I went out to dinner with my dad and my grandma. Miraculously, I wasn't told that I need to hurry up and get married and have children. Then yesterday, I watched quality programming on MTV and then went to see the fireworks. I also solved the problem of not getting my comments e-mailed to me; it's all AOL's fault. The countdown to my week off commences now! 9 work days to go!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Theft Again!

This is stolen from feather's blog. You enter your answers into google images and post the first picture in the results.

Where I'm from: York, PA. Interestingly enough, the second picture was of skinheads holding flags with swastikas on them, which would probably be a more accurate representation. Nice.


My favorite actor: John Cusack


My favorite animal:


My favorite TV show: Good Eats


My favorite drink: Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper


The place I'd most like to visit someday: London


Saturday, July 02, 2005

For j.

Edited because I could not stand to look at AJ Gill's ugly mug on my blog anymore.

Image hosted by
Image hosted by

Damn you--I'm supposed to be cleaning! :-)

Live 8

I know they're not all performing in the same place, but how awesome would a concert with Pink Floyd, Pet Shop Boys, The Cure, Bjork, REM, and U2 be?

My Geography of Latin America professor showed us a picture from some country in South America where someone had written "Pink Flod" in grafitti on a brick wall. I was the only person in the class who got it and thought it was funny. My professor looked a little disenchanted with college students. I don't blame him.


Now, I loves me some JPL and Bo Bice. I will occasionally post on a message board (TWoP only), I look at their official sites from time to time, and I will buy their albums when they come out. What I will not do, however, is make a website like this, which I found on said message board. I'm a very gullible person, but I really think this is for real. At first glance, the website seems rather harmless. But as MR pointed out, clicking on the thumbnails takes you to very disturbing analyses. As I told MR, even though I'm not a fan, I can understand loving Clay Aiken's voice or thinking he's cute, but I cannot understand lusting after him. There was a similar website about JPL back in the day. It described the JPL Effect (being unable to breathe and having heart palpatations when you see him, not being able to go a day without thinking of him, not being able to sleep without his music playing in the background). That was disturbing as well.

Another disturbing thing is that I can see the road that leads up to the York County Nursing Home from my desk, and a very high number of ambulances (ambuli?) go up there every day.

And of course, I remembered another item for my to do list. I have to thoroughly clean my car, inside and out. It's nasty.

Friday, July 01, 2005


I'm not being e-mailed when I get comments. Is anyone else having that problem?

My To Do List

1. Clean my grill. There are embers in the bottom of it that catch on fire whenever I use it: not good.
2. Clean the house. I only clean every other weekend and it gets pretty bad at the end.
3. Prune the flowers in my pots on the front porch. The pouring rain has demolished them.
4. Iron. I haven't done it in weeks.

I'm sure more things will come up.

My Embarrassing Music Collection

I spoke the other day of my abysmal taste in music. Here is a list of CDs I own or songs I have downloaded that support this claim (keep in mind that a lot of those were free from Columbia House--not that that excuses any of them):

Air Supply - several songs
Blackstreet - No Diggety
Bone Thugs N Harmony - Crossroads
Gerardo - Rico Suave
Kelis - Milkshake
Lindsey Lohan - Rumors (I know, I know)
Murray Head - One Night in Bangkok
New Kids on the Block - several songs
Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
Weather Girls - It's Raining Men
Snow - Informer

CDs I own:
The Rush Hour Soundtrack
Public Announcement (you may not have heard of them, but they had a single called "Body Bumpin' [yippie-yi-yo]" which tells you all you need to know about them.)
2Pac - All Eyez on Me
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Doggy Style (this was permanently borrowed; I didn't buy it)
Dead or Alive - Rip it Up (does the song "You Spin Me Round [Like a Record]" ring a bell?)
2 Backstreet Boys CDs
Britney Spears's 1st CD
La Bouche - Sweet Dreams
The Best of the Village People
Salt N Pepa - Very Necessary

I'm just going to go remove myself from civilization now.

Have a great 4th of July weekend!