Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 30, 2005


The holidays really got me thinking about how freaking boring my life is. My step-cousin was home from DC where he is a chef at this restaurant; I was at Home Depot and ran into my parents' next-door neighbors and their son, who was home from London for the holidays. Everyone's life is so much more exciting than mine. I guess if you live in those places the novelty wears off, but still. It's not like I'm unhappy here, it's just not exciting. I'm the sort of person who needs a routine, but I wonder what it would be like to have an interesting life and if I'd really like it.

Enough moodiness. I'm reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which will probably be on my list of my favorite books of all time. I can't wait to finish the book so I can watch the movie.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I'm Not as Bad as I Thought

I was sucked into Trading Spouses again, and the one mom left the other family $41K to help towards paying off their credit card debt. So that's how you live the American dream.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I Don't Understand...

...why trucks always get stuck under bridges on the 2 busiest streets in downtown Harrisburg during rush hour. Don't truckers know the bridges on their routes that they don't fit under? Don't they know how tall their rigs are? Keep in mind, this is pretty much a daily occurrence. It's not like, "Remember back in '93 when that truck got stuck under the bridge?" It's, "Remember 2 hours ago when that truck got stuck under the bridge?" It happens so often that my Traffax man, John Wilsbach, always says something to the effect of, "Sorry, guys. Some idiot is stuck under the bridge again."

My grandfather, who was a gym teacher, drove a moving truck in the summer with his brother, and he never got stuck under his bridge. He did, quite badly, fudge his log sheet so that he and his brother miraculously traveled 300 miles while they were both logged as sleeping (which is probably where I got my lying skills), but he never got stuck under a damn bridge! Luckily I am one of only 5 poor saps who has to work today, or else traffic would have been backed up for miles. Stupid people.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Rest In Peace

12-18-05 to 12-26-05
Sorry I suck at raising goldfish.

(not Jim)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!

I hope no one gets stuck with crappy presents!

My Review of Playing the Angel

1 - A Pain That I'm Used To - I hate when Depeche Mode starts their albums with a really grating noise (See "I Feel You" from Songs of Faith and Devotion) because when people want to hear Depeche Mode and I put in a CD and they hear that, they look at me like I'm insane, which I'm clearly not. The beginning of APTIUT sounds like a deranged elephant. This song is far from musical brilliance; the melody is a little formulaic, but it's catchy, and the music between the choruses is gritty and cool. Martin Gore is a freaking lyrical genius and sometimes it feels like he has a direct line into my brain. Need a line for an angst-ridden letter to an ex? Try "I don't see who/I'm trying to be/Instead of me/But the key/Is a question of control."

2 - John the Revelator - This song is ironic. Extremely danceable, yet blasphemous. Yes, it's about that John the Revelator. It's based on this song. There's a reason why DM isn't found in the gospel section. It's pretty much impossible to listen to this song without bobbing up and down in your seat. The beat kicks all kinds of ass, and this song will be in my head for an annoying length of time. I actually like when Depeche Mode tackles religion, which we saw a lot of on Songs of Faith and Devotion. Need to piss off a fundamentalist? "By claiming God/As his holy right/He's stealing a God/From the Israelites/Stealing a God/From the Muslim too."

3 - Suffer Well - Dave Gahan wrote this song. To me it's reminiscent of their early work. Wake me when it's over, Dave; you're no Martin. Want to mend old wounds? "An angel led me when I was blind/I said take me back I've changed my mind/Now I believe."

4 - The Sinner in Me - I love Dave's voice on this song. This song bored me a little too, but the synth was nice. It's very gritty and moody, and you can read the lyrics to the tune of Mercy In You; I don't know if that was intentional or not. Need to make excuses? "I'm still recovering/Still getting over all the suffering/More known for my anger/Than for any other thing."

5 - Precious - This is the first single, and my early favorite. One of the things I adore about DM is the way that Dave Gahan can sing Martin Gore's lyrics like he wrote them himself. In fact, I was disappointed when I first realized that Dave didn't write the songs because his voice is the sex. The music in this song is more imaginative than some of their others, and it broke my heart. Even though this description makes no sense, the music is simple, yet intricate. Need a line to use when it's time for a much-overdue break-up? How about "Things get damaged/Things get broken/I thought we'd manage/But words left unspoken/Left us so brittle/There was so little left to give."

6 - Macro - The boys definitely went back to SOFAD on this one. The beginning of this song reminds me of "In Your Room" from that album. This song is pretty and mellow. It doesn't excite me, but it's not a skipper. Trying a woo a new-ager? "See the microcosm/In macro vision/Our bodies moving/With pure precision/One universal celebration/One evolution/One creation."

7 - I Want it All - Dave wrote this song, and I don't like it. This is the doozy on the album. Need something to say to the significant other who is walking a fine line? "I see a river/It's oceans that I want/You have to give me everything/But everything's not enough."

8 - Nothing's Impossible - This is the 3rd song Dave wrote, and by far the best. He's still not on Martin's level though. This song has a lot of distortion and creepy music. Trying to make amends? "How did we get to be this far apart/I want to be with you have something to share/I want to be here I'm not there."

9 - Introspectre - This is a quick musical interlude. I'm not quite sure what purpose it serves, other than to tie Nothing's Impossible and Damaged People together, but it's nice.

10 - Damaged People - How haunting! This is another one of my favorites. It reminds me of a mix of "Halo" from Violator and the majority of the songs from Some Great Reward. Since many, myself included, consider Violator to be one of the best DM albums, that's a good thing. This is what DM means to me, and I would rate it as one of their best ballads. Madly in love with a brooder? "When I feel the warmth of your very soul/I forget I'm cold/And crying/When your lips touch mine/And I lose control/I forget I'm old/And dying."

11 - Lilian - One reviewer said that he didn't like that all the ballads were at the end of the album, but this is one of the most danceable songs on it. This is a song about heartbreak, pure and simple. An evil bitch who broke your heart. It isn't as good lyrically as some of the others, but the music is reminiscent of 80s New Wave. Want to say something hateful to an ex? "Oh Lilian/Look what's you've done/You've stripped my heart/Ripped it apart/In the name of fun."

12 - The Darkest Star - I don't like this song, but usually DM's slower tempo songs take longer to grow on me. It's almost too slow, if that's possible. Need to provide reassurance? "I don't want you to change anything you do/I don't want you to be someone else for me."

Listen to repeatedly: 1, 2, 5, 10, 11
Skip: 7, 12

All images from

Friday, December 23, 2005


It is December 23, but I had my windows open today. I can live with this. I hate being all closed up, so I take any opportunity I can get to open the windows. I also went outside to clean my windshield with a T-shirt and no coat.

Tonight Rusty is coming over for dinner. The menu is bruschetta, filet mignon, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted broccoli, and an assortment of desserts that Rusty is bringing, which will include the chocolate/cream cheese cupcakes that I made this morning. Hopefully everything will turn out well!

I now know what I will be drinking on New Year's Eve. I got a bottle of Jose Cuervo margarita at the liquor store yesterday, and it's awesome. I hate alcohol that tastes like alcohol, but this goes down very smoothly.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

My Top 5 Secondary Simpsons Characters

5. Waylon Smithers
I know that homosexual innuendo isn't the most clever thing out there, but the exchanges between Smithers and Mr. Burns are the best. Smithers is pathetic, but he's just evil enough (at least he acts that way to keep Mr. Burns happy) that we keep from feeling completely sorry for him.

"I think women and seamen don't mix."

4. Moe Szyslak
Moe exemplifies the born loser. Who else would burn their bar down without purchasing insurance first? One of my favorite recent Moe-ments (rim shot!) was the Treehouse of Horrors episode where Moe was turns into a pacifier and says, "Well, it's still better than being Moe."

"I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that."

3. Groundskeeper Willie
Even though once she got her eyesight back, the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for Sherry Bobbins, but he's still my third favorite. Groundskeeper Willie is oft-abused, but he's able to hold his own if he needs to. Any man who would willingly eat haggis has to be tough.

"Ya used me, Skinner; ya used me!"

2. Seymour Skinner
I seem to have a trend of dejected characters. Skinner, or Harmon Tanzarian is pretty much the epitome of pathetic. I love when Superintendent Chalmers yells "Skinner!" I yell "Chrisser!" but I don't think Chris finds it amusing.

"Nibbles, chew through my ballsack."

1. Ned Flanders
Ned Flanders is a sexy, sexy man, and has some of the best quotes in the whole series. I will never again look at a Hummel figurine without hearing, "Bad company till the day I die."

"Unless they have a blowtorch or a poisonous gas injector, then I don't know what will happen when they come."

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Xmas Has Begun

"Things get damaged/Things get broken/I thought we'd manage/But words left unspoken/Left us so brittle/There was so little left to give"--Depeche Mode, "Precious"

I got a candle holder of Santa sitting on a chimney and Depeche Mode's Playing the Angel today from my friend at work. The CD played a couple times today, but I couldn't listen to it very loud because I wasn't sure how work safe it was. Not that DM is bad, but you never know. The back of the CD says, "Pain and suffering in various tempos," so you know it's right up my alley.

From Rusty I got a Boyd's Bear named Jennifer, one of those things you put by your sink with a scrubber in it in the shape of a chili pepper, and a dip/tortilla chip holder with a chili pepper handle. I got some Bath and Body Works stuff and lottery tickets from my supervisor and I won a free ticket. I got another lottery ticket from another co-worker (didn't win, of course), $5 from one, and a box of chocolates from which I have already eaten an embarrassing amount from another.

This morning on my way to work, 3 cops, 1 marked and 2 unmarked, had a guy pulled over, but he was pulled over haphazardly (perpendicular to the road instead of parallel) and they were searching his car. Of course we had to slam on our brakes and go 35 MPH on the highway to rubber neck.

A few co-workers and I went out for lunch today and were charged an 18% gratuity for getting separate checks. Our waitress wasn't worth 18%. One of the co-workers was mad, so she called the restaurant, and the owner offered to fire her, which makes me glad as hell I don't work there, but did say that he would give us our 3% back. I'm not one to make a fuss, but sometimes doing so gets you what you want.

*Update: Ummm...some guy from the York Newspaper Company called to see if I was getting satisfactory service and I said yes, and then he thanked me, wished me a happy holiday, and said, "Bye, baby." That's a new one...


Christmas vacation officially begins in 1.5 hours.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Excellent news for those of us who wish to uphold the separation of church and state! A federal judge has declared that teaching intelligent in science class is unconstitutional!

I Was a Messed Up Child

Remember Hector from "Heathcliff?"

I had a crush on him. Yeah, I know...

Monday, December 19, 2005

Fish Killa

I got two new fish over the weekend: a goldfish and a pleco. Their names are Jim and Dwight. I am so bad with fish. I've probably had about 20 of them in my life with the average life span being about 2 days. The longest I had one live was about a year (my cat knocked its aquarium over) and the shortest amount of time is just a few hours as it was dead the next morning.

The pleco is so cute! It sucks algae off of surfaces, so it's usually sticking to the side of the tank. I have a treasure chest in the tank, and last night it stuck itself inside the lid. I'm not really expecting them to be alive when I get home, but it'll be a pleasant surprise if they are.

My high school boyfriend's wedding announcement was in the paper yesterday and it said he's a manager at Chik-Fil-A. There's nothing wrong with that job, but he was so brilliant and had all these big dreams, and now look. He was also a massive perfectionist and an elitist. He apparently screwed up somewhere, as MR told me he was their waiter the other year, and his mom told me he had dropped out of college to be with some girl who later dumped him. I don't really give a shit that he's married, but it makes me so happy that he's working at a fast food restaurant. It's nice to see him get his comeuppance.

MR and I saw the crappiest Christmas play ever on Saturday night. I was invited by my neighbors, and I felt that I had to go out of guilt. I'd say that 60% of the suck was due to the actual script and 40% was due to the performance. One guy screwed up his lines and said, "Oh crap!" during the show. Then my neighbors tried to convert me. I have a feeling that if I was disillusioned by the Methodist church, I would be even more so by the Mennonites.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

I Be Good at Grammer Test's.

English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 80% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I
can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon
intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You
have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!
Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog:

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 68% on Beginner
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on Intermediate
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 80% on Advanced
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 54% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Here We Go...

I had refrained from reading the TWoP message boards about The Apprentice finale because the whole season underwhelmed me, but apparently people are playing the race card. In case you don't watch or were too tremendously bored to watch the whole season, the choice was down to Rebecca, a pretty 23-year-old financial journalist (who made me feel really bad about my "accomplishments" thus far) who is dull as dirt and seems unable to start a sentence without saying, "Mr. Trump." She was pretty innocuous except for the way she talked. I can't explain it; it was just annoying. I liked her though, because she broke her ankle early in the game (on a reward of playing ice hockey--expecting the men to win much, Donald [although I would freaking love that reward]?) and never complained about it and only rarely brought it up. Can you imagine how much some of those famewhores would have milked that? Anyway, the other candidate was Randal, a black man (don't know his age, but I'd say mid- to late-30s) who has every degree imaginable from excellent schools, was a Rhodes scholar, was also dull as dirt, but seemed really nice and wasn't as annoying as Rebecca. I liked Randal because his grandmother died in the beginning of the show, and he also didn't bitch about it and rarely mentioned it.

At the finale, Randal won, in my opinion because he had a better record overall, his event actually raised money for charity which was sort of the whole point, and he had much more experience and education. The Donald then asked Randal (on live TV, mind you) if he felt he should also hire Rebecca, and Randal said no. Awkward! Randal actually said, "It's called The Apprentice, not The Apprenti." Shoutout! Anyway, now people are calling racist because Randal is not only the first black winner, but also the first person who was asked about hiring the other finalist. As I've said before, I believe The Donald has some sort of disorder like Asperger's or PDD. I don't think he meant any malice, I just think he's an idiot with no social skills. If anything, his doing that was motivated by wanting to screw Rebecca literally, not screw Randal figuratively. In the beginning of the season, The Donald made a comment about how pretty the female finalists were. That goes along with asking the one candidate if he was gay and the other if he was a virgin. The Donald just has no sense of what is inappropriate.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Friday, December 16, 2005

No Surprise Here...

You are a

Social Liberal
(68% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(41% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I heisted this from mysecretennui

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Only in America...

Can a president who lies about adultery be impeached, but a president who lies about weapons of mass destruction and sends thousands of troops into war have a rising approval rating.

The only faulty intelligence I see is that of President Bush himself.

3 Months!

Today marks my 3-month anniversary of not buying cigarettes. Notice I didn't say that I haven't smoked in 3 months. This is because when Chris leaves his cigarettes out, I obviously have to take one. I mean, if I were an alcoholic, would he leave a bottle of vodka sitting out? If I were a drug addict, would he leave a dimebag sitting out? Well, he probably would... But go me for only smoking about 1 pack of cigarettes in the past 3 months!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Yeah, I'm stupid.

I just realized the significance of, "Every kiss begins with Kay."


Apparently some school in PA (I was too busy cursing the traffic this morning to hear exactly where it is) has banned the use of the word "snowman" because that's what they call cocaine dealers. Hell, why stop there? Why not ban every word associated with drug culture at all: weed, pot, grass, snow, angel, dust, acid, Coke, blow... For the sake of the lord!


Congratulations to Steve Carell for being nominated for a Best Actor Golden Globe for The Office! Boo to the Golden Globes for overlooking John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson and The Office itself.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I actually came upon this picture in an unusual way. Dim's blog is listed on this website, which is hilarious.

Monday, December 12, 2005

An Introduction

Rusty, meet John; John, Rusty.

A Case of the Mondays

Ok, now I'm kinda sorry we were off last Friday because I'm getting slammed. I was on the phone with someone for about 10 minutes and got 4 messages during that time. They're making us call all the people from Friday to reschedule them. We coddle people too much here. If I missed a doctor's appointment due to snow, I would call to reschedule, not wait for them to call me. I understand that we're working with people with poor mental health, but they'll never learn responsibility like this. Give a man a fish...

Even though The Simpsons isn't funny anymore, Chris and I almost pissed our pants last night when Homer was paging through the Italian dictionary and came to a picture of Peter Griffin that was labeled plagiarismo, and then on the next page there was a picture of the dad from American Dad that said plagiarismo di plagiarismo.

No Office this week, but at least there's a new Arrested Development tonight.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A New Wave

I now have this* movie saved on Netflix for whenever it comes out. The trailer says Summer 2005 so methinks it may never come out. Still, John Krasinski saying "fuck?" Rowr!

*Not worksafe due to swearing.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Just No.


I was in the bathroom doing my business, and for a lack of anything better to read, I read the back of an Herbal Essences bottle that was sitting on the counter. I wish I hadn't. "Delight in a world of luscious exhilaration and unleash the power of your naturally beautiful hair. Bursting with a sumptuous, fresh fragrance, this vibrant, juicy shampoo, blended with 100% organic fruit extracts and essences of coconut and palm oils, will take your hair to a place it's never been before. Radiant, renewed and naturally flowing." (Italics and bolding not mine). WTF?! Seriously?!

Then I read the directions, which make me want to go to Proctor and Gamble to kick some ass. "Drench hair and invigorate it with the rich, luscious later. Excite your senses and enjoy the delicious fragrance. Rinse when ready."

You know, the J. Peterman catalog was meant to be satire, not inspiration.

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Shining

Of course, Chris will comment that this has been around for years, but I just found out about it last night, so I'm posting it. This is a trailer for The Shining that makes it seen like a warm, fuzzy family movie. 'Tis funny.

Here is the Mr. Roboto VW commercial, since we were on the subject of commercials the other week. This was one of my favorites because I love Styx, and now it's even better because I just found out that it's none other than Mr. Tony Hale in the commercial. Enjoy!

It Worked!

I had off work today!! Of course our internet connection wasn't working till now, so I wasn't able to thank everyone for praying for the snow :). Rusty, I would have called so we could spend the snow day talking, but our router sucks. Dim, I thought about you as I was clearing off my car (I cleared off the roof and the whole windshield.)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Snow, Dammit!

Everyone pray that it snows tomorrow so my office is closed.

Amen! Part II

I am going to drive out to Chicago and give this man a big kiss. I know my perspective is biased because I don't have children, and I admit that I have no clue what it's like to take a child to a public place, but I HATE when I go somewhere and there are screaming, misbehaving children. I understand that children act up, but then their parents need to take them outside to calm down. I think I'm pretty reasonable; if I go to a movie geared towards children or a fast food place, I expect a little bit of acting up, but if I'm in a nicer restaurant or an R-rated movie I don't expect children to be causing a ruckus. Don't get me started on what type of parent would take his or her young child to an R-rated movie, especially late at night.

I think our nation has become so worried about offending everyone that people feel a sense of entitlement. I don't think there's anything wrong with a business owner asking people to leave because they can't control their children. But nowadays we all have to be able to do whatever we want to do. It's not like the guy put a sign out that said, "No minorities allowed," for god's sake! Parents, please realize that it's not cute when your children misbehave and are loud, it's annoying.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration

One of the best Offices ever! I sat there with a huge, goofy grin on my face the whole time. I won't talk about it too much though, seeing as how pretty much no one else watches it. Meredith now has a myspace page. There's also a nice bit of continuity in the fact that the pictures on are the actual pictures that Michael took during the party. Come on, what other show does that?!

Only 11 days of work before Christmas vacation!!

Pennsylvania has won the prestigious honor of having the worst roads in the US, according to "Overdrive" magazine.

That's all for now!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Time Waster

This Office site is fairly new, so it's under construction, but it's a good way to waste a little time at work.

Monday, December 05, 2005


It was a boring day today, so I was reading about Centralia. I actually wouldn't mind going to check it out; it's only about 2 hours away from here. Stuff like that creeps me out, and I love being creeped out. Here is a site with a lot of links of pictures and information. I'm thinking I might need to take a road trip sometime soon.

Big Brother is Watching

I don't like this at all. When you print a document on your printer, a secret code is also printed onto the page so that the government can track where and when the document was printed. I understand that some of the safeguards put into place are needed, but we aren't too far away from becoming an Orwellian society. I blame our government for spreading this propaganda. I don't think Bush has too much to do with it, because I think he's too stupid to come up with ideas on his own, which I'm sure thrills the government. I really hate the direction in which our society is headed.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Real Post To Come

Got this from Goddess.

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.
You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.
You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.
You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.
While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.
You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.
You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


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