Emily Post's Etiquette

j.'s recent post reminded me of Emily Post's etiquette book from 1965 that I took from my mom. My mom was about my age in 1965, and was just about to get married, so I can imagine that she actually followed some of these things. In fact, she does prepare snacks when my dad has "the guys" over for cards. Here are some excerpts:

"'Do not attract attention to yourself in public' is one of the cardinal principles of etiquette."

"It is impossible to imagine a true lady walking on a city street either chewing gum or smoking a cigarette."

"When a man is taking a woman to dinner, he orders the meal after asking her what she would like."

A tip for the opera: "Both ladies and gentlemen may visit friends in other boxes between the acts, but the lady must always have an escort."

"It is against the rules of every reputable hotel for a guest to receive a visitor of the opposite sex in a bedroom without first speaking to the clerk and then leaving the door ajar...Noisy parties, men visitors at unconventionally late hours, or anything that suggests questionable behavior is not permitted at any high-class hotel."

"Decent women (or men) do not wear shorts or slacks except at resorts, in the privacy of their own yards, or for golf, tennis, boating, etc."

When you go to visit a friend, don't forget this rule: "If a servant has met you at the door, do not hand him your card. If he has not offered you a tray to place it on, step inside the door and place the card on the nearest table. A lady never pays a call on a gentleman."

Luckily, there is a chapter on what to do if you are invited to the White House or a meeting of the United Nations. I think I made a faux pas when I was invited and I slapped Bush on the back and said, "Hey, Dubya! How's that lying to our nation thing going?" Oh, if only I had read this book first!

One of the examples of names is Miss Spinster.

"The fat girl, alas, must give up wearing shorts and slacks in public."

This final entry will be a long one. It comes from the chapter entitled "A Happy Marriage," subsection, "The Wife's Part." Feminists might want to stop reading at this point.

"How many times has one heard someone say, "No one is coming in. This old dress will do!" Old clothes! Sloppy manners! And what is the result? One wife more wonders why her husband neglects her! She who changes her dress and fixes her hair for her husband's homecoming is sure to greet him with greater charm than she who thinks whatever she happens to have on is good enough.

The wife who smears her face with cream and rolls her hair in curlers before going to bed is not a sight that many husbands can endure. With a handy portable drier, there is no reason that hair cannot be dried while doing chores, feeding the baby, or paying the bills. The wife who prepares and sees her husband off to work in a dirty bathrobe, with hair uncombed and face unwashed, sends him off with a thoroughly unflattering picture of her in his mind. No wonder many a man has found his neat, efficient, pretty secretary more appealing than his unkempt, uncaring wife!

Even though a girl may loathe cooking, she should make an effort to cater to her husband's likes and dislikes. And no matter how noble he may be about claiming he likes it, she never feeds him frozen dinners more than once a week!

A considerate wife doesn't make plans without consulting her husband.

If her husband is the type who enjoys an evening of poker with his friends, the smart wife will cheer him on his way and even offer to provide refreshments for his gang at home when it is his turn to invite them there. She leaves everything in readiness and disappears--completely! But if he is bringing a business acquaintance home, she must be a gracious hostess until after dinner, when she excuses herself, washes up quietly, and goes to her room to leave them to their business discussion."

Here's how a conversation would go in my household if Chris thought I should be made-up when he came home:

Chris: "Darling, I do believe that you should put on make-up and a keen dress to greet me as I return home from a day at the ol' office."
Jenny G: [Punches Chris in the face] "Bite me."