Job Interview, Part Deux

I have an interview with the Department of Public Welfare on the 17th. I'm not nervous at all; because of the way this works, the job is pretty much mine if I want it. Basically I have one week to think long and hard about what I want. I'm leaning toward not taking it for various reasons, among them not wanting to lose vacation time, having upcoming medical appointments, possible issues with leaving early to make it to school on time, and the fact that I made some connections in class this past weekend with people who work in various libraries in the area. Plus, if I turn the job down and change my mind later, I can just re-take the test. I can't even decide what I want to order at a restaurant; how the hell am I supposed to decide what life path I should take?!

Things I've Learned in Library School

Cataloging is like a scavenger hunt. But not like a fun scavenger hunt. More like a scavenger hunt that makes you want to suck on the business end of a .22.

Stuff

I've been MIA lately because there isn't really much going on. I hate January, so I usually spend it hibernating. I slept through my alarm for 2 hours this morning and went in an hour late and put in for some vacation time to make up for it. Oops. Chris finally finished building my Ti-faux, so every day I have a new gift from the TV gods. I hadn't been watching TV lately, but now I have episodes of "Good Eats" (which go straight to a DVD-R...beats shelling out hundreds of bucks from the DVDs on Food Network's website!), "Anthony Bourdain No Reservations," "Intervention" (AWESOME show), and "Twilight Zone." John Cusack is on "Inside the Actor's Studio" at 1AM, so I get to come home tomorrow, curl up on the couch, and lust after my man. Just what I need...something to make me waste even more time. I feel like I've finally caught up to the 21st century now that I have a digital camera, an MP3 player, and a DVR. And yes, I'm fully aware that there is more advanced technology available, but let me bask on being somewhat current. On the Netflix front I just finished "My So-Called Life," which now goes on my list of TV shows that were canceled too early along with "Freaks and Geeks" and "Arrested Development."

The semester officially started today, but I'm only taking one class this semester and it's one of those three-weekend classes so I don't have to go till next weekend. I'm sooooo dreading it. I'm also afraid we're going to get massive snowstorms. The professor hasn't posted anything about the class yet, and I'm sort of worried. I always feel like everyone knows what's going on except for me. I have no idea what books to buy, what building the class is in...you know--information that might be a tad helpful.

That's pretty much my life right now--watching TV, hating winter, and dreading school. I hope everyone else's life is not as massively lame as mine!

Resolutions

How did I do on my 2007 resolutions?

1. Continue to eat better - I did ok...till Christmas. I gave up sweets, but of course at Christmas everyone gives you cookies and candy. I did manage to use more fresh ingredients though.

2. Exercise more - I did ok with this one too. I went walking/running a couple times and my dad and I rode bikes most weekends this summer.

3. Quit being so stagnant - I can check that one off now that I'm in grad school.

4. Stop giving a shit - I'm not sure what exactly I meant by this, but I think I did better at not taking things so personally.

Now, for my 2008 resolutions:

1. Cut down on smoking - This will be hard.

2. Continue to eat better - I'm completely giving up sweets now that most of the Christmas candy and cookies are gone.

3. Exercise More - Now that I have an MP3 player I'll have more motivation to go walking/running. Using a Walkman just wasn't cutting it!

4. Be more thankful for the things in my life - This is something I don't want to go into too much detail about, but it's something I need to do.

5. Take better care of myself - I've made some doctor's appointments that I've been putting off, but there's one thing I need to have checked out that I'm dragging my feet on. We'll see how this goes.

I hope everyone has a great and prosperous New Year! I plan to spend the rest of today and tomorrow watching the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi.

Aqui Esta el Titulo

Yeah, long time, no talk. That's because a.) I've been busy and b.) I have nothing to write about. Most of the things going on in my life aren't really blog-worthy or blog-appropriate.

The receptionist came back today after being off since September 19 for foot surgery (for once I'm living by the axiom "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"), so hopefully work will go a little smoother and my hair will start falling out a little less. BUT, one of my coworkers messaged me on MySpace and said she (the receptionist) is taking Wednesday off. Serenity now...

If you haven't already, head on over to Rusty's blog to check out her two new additions. I hate cats, but these guys are adorable!

School is coming along. I've handed in and gotten back all the papers for the on-site class, so now all I have to do is an online final the week of December 3rd or somewhere around there. I have 28 1/2 pages done on my big-ass paper, and that's without proofreading anything (I can bs an extra page or so during the proofread) and without adding page numbers.

Now that I'm in school, I've noticed I'm much less anal about the house. For example, I usually have to have all the clocks correct to the second (insane, I know) and now they're all off. Although now that I just wrote that, it's starting to bug me...

I'm not voting tomorrow. Feel free to call me a hypocrite or, if you're hot, come spank me.

It's getting to be SAD time again. I can't stand non-daylight saving time.

As far as the holidays go, Halloween was pretty uneventful for me. It's my second favorite holiday, but I wasn't really feeling it this year. I don't have any big plans for Thanksgiving; dinner this year will just be me and my parents because of some drama in the extended family. This will make some people want to bludgeon me to death, but I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping...I usually have it all done in the summer though. New Year's eve and day are going to be, as always, spent on the couch watching the Twilight Zone marathon. Unfortunately New Year's Eve is on a weekday this year, but I took the afternoon off so I didn't have to miss much of my precious TZ. Wow, I'm lame.

Speaking of Halloween, the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror was on last night. Not the best one ever, but Heck House was definitely the best of the three, although I'm biased because of my love of Flanders. My all-time favorite vignettes are The Raven (even though they didn't do my favorite line--"'Prophet!' said I, 'thing of evil — prophet still, if bird or devil!'") and the Shinning. The Office hasn't really been doing it for me too much this season. Hopefully the writer's strike won't affect everyone's shows too much.

The Raven:

Weekend Update

Friday night and Saturday were spent sitting in class wondering if anyone has ever actually died of boredom, but the great news is that was my last in-person class till next semester! Woot! Now all I have to do is a methodology section for a theoretical study that we're making up (or, as I was told in an e-mail at which I laughed out loud, we can actually do) and then take an online final during finals week. Right now I have a 93% and the final is pretty much a guaranteed 100%, so I'm not too worried about the methodology section. Plus, I have a massive advantage because as a psych major I actually conducted research and wrote a research report. It seemed like a lot of people in my class had never heard of some of the stuff we were learning before.

Now, for my big announcement: I am finished with my rough draft of my 30 page paper for my online class. Ok, I have 27 pages written, but I can easily bullshit 3 double-spaced pages in Arial. I was a little concerned about making this paper Arial when all my other ones were in Times, but the only specifications he gave were that it had to be 12-point or less, so fuck it. I want to tie up everyone I know and make them read this damn thing because it took me so freaking long to write it. So far Rusty wants to read it (I give her two pages before she stops and I'm taking bets) and the state representative I interviewed wants to read it too; I'll send it to him, but I highly doubt he will.

I've heard some very scary things about the class I'm taking next semester. One person even heard of someone who failed, and when you fail a grad course, guess what? There's $1,000 down the drain. Another girl said it wasn't bad, but I of course choose to believe the people who said it was. Luckily, some of the people I got to know in class are taking it with me next semester, so I won't be going it alone.

I went for a nice long drive today. The weather was gorgeous and the leaves are starting to turn. I found two things to add to my "only in York County" file. The first was when we were detoured onto a one-lane dirt road. I had to pull off the road for 20 times for cars coming in the other direction. The other thing was a sign announcing a shooting competition at the local fire hall. I ended up at Otter Creek; if you're a Live fan you've probably heard of it.

I also went running/walking again. I should do that more often, but laziness usually takes over. Plus, by the time I get home in the late fall/winter, it's only light for about 20 minutes.

That's pretty much all I did today besides laundry and going to get gas. I wasted a lot of time today, but I'm totally fine with that.

I loved the Office on Thursday night! I haven't watched it a second time tonight, but I liked the balance of humor and heart. Jim talking to Dwight was great, and of course the kiss was great. I also loved Darryl and Kelly, the whoever/whomever conversation and Michael telling Toby (paraphrasing), "No one has ever asked you anything, ever." Poor Toby!

Something very weird is going on: I'm happy. I'm not sure what's going on, but I feel pretty weird right now. I'm even listening to bad music...mid-90s top 40 bad. I'm just trying to make the most of things because, as Bjork said, there's more to life than this. We'll see how long it lasts.

My brain is broken; time for bed!

Este y Eso

Noooooooo!!! Noah Wyle is coming back to ER for 4 episodes. I hate Dr. Carter!

I wish I had something interesting to talk about. I'm a little tipsy because I was cooking with wine, and when you cook with wine you have to drink some. It's the law. So I drank half the bottle, and I'm a lightweight. Rusty, I'm totally sober! Ask me anything! I had all sorts of things I wanted to write about, but now I forget them. I even perused CNN.com to find something to write about and couldn't find anything to rant about. I do know I wanted to mention how much the Doobie Brothers started to suck when Michael McDonald joined the band. I was listening to their greatest hits CD while I was making dinner and I was rocking out to "China Grove" and "Long Train Running" and then "Takin' it to the Streets" came on. Shut up, Michael McDonald.

I've been in a really good mood lately and I'm not as stressed out. I'm not sure why, but all I know is that my skin has cleared up since I stopped being stressed. I'm also using tea tree oil, which is the best stuff in the world, and clears breakouts up in about a day. I love the fact that I have zits and I'm getting gray hair. My body can't make up its mind.

I hate that that we missed out on good fall weather. It went from 90 degrees to 50 in one day.

I'm not sure how I stumbled upon this, but it's something Oprah wrote about how she took the month of July off when she found out she had hypothyroidism. It must be difficult for you to take a month off from working, fly to Hawaii, eat only fresh foods, and sleep when you want to. My heart is breaking for you. Shut up, Oprah. Guess what? A lot of people have diseases and have to continue going to work, cooking, taking care of their children... I don't know how people can read this shit and not feel condescended towards.

I was cleaning out my filing cabinet today and I came across a "newspaper" we made in Spanish class our senior year called El Gran Flan. Here's a picture of our class. I'm sitting at the table in the middle and Rusty is on my right. We were so young! I would make a pact with Satan to look like that again. The guy on the far right holding the Spanish dictionary died about two years ago of a brain tumor. He was in the popular clique, but he was the sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet, and I know Rusty agrees with me. I don't believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, he's being rewarded.


I leave you with one of my favorite Stephen Crane poems, since my Stephen Crane sampler was in the same folder as El Gran Flan:

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Book Geek and Other Things

Yay for free and/or cheap books! I just got the Chronicles of Narnia box set ($27.65 retail price) from Ebay for about $13 and I got another free book ($24.95) from the LibraryThing early reviewers program. It's The Guardians by Ana Castillo. LibraryThing kicks ass! I paid about $25 for a lifetime membership and have received $50 worth of books so far! And the greatest part is that the membership fee would be worth it even without the free books.

I have been sick for a little over a week. I woke up with a cold last Sunday and I felt pretty decent by Tuesday, but I can't shake this hacky, phlegmy cough. I suppose it would go away faster if I didn't smoke so much. Monday was the worst day, but luckily I had taken the day off because I was having some maintenance done on my car, so all I had planned to do was sit on my ass and watch bad daytime TV. I used Zicam swabs on Sunday and Monday morning. I don't know if it helped or not, but it was a pretty short cold.

My online grad school starts two weeks from today and the in-person one starts in about a month. I'm a little nervous, mostly because I prefer not doing stuff over doing stuff. Everyone is telling me to kiss my free time good-bye, but I can't imagine it will be that time-consuming. I've never really had a hard time in school. I hardly did any work in high school. In college I did more, but I was rarely stressed about the amount I had to do. I think sometimes people like to exaggerate their war stories, but my parents are the only people I've talked to who didn't give me horror stories. They like to nag and criticize though, so I know they would constantly be telling me how difficult it was going to be if that were the case. I guess I'll find out for myself.

Chris downloaded Counter-Strike: Condition Zero for me. First-person shooters are a great way to get your aggression out. Unfortunately I get a little addicted.

I repayed Chris's kindness for doing that by running his cell phone through the washer. It's so strange because I never check his pockets, but this time I actually did and apparently I missed his phone. We have equipment insurance, but it's a $50 deductible. I'm trying not to think of all the other things I could spend $50 on instead.

The other day on the way to work I saw a guy with a bumper sticker that said, "My other toy has tits." Eww. That bothered me and I'm most definitely not a feminist. Of course this guy was driving a massive SUV that barely fit in one lane of the highway. I wanted to walk up to him, knock on his window and say, "I'm sorry you have a small penis, sir."

Stuff

I can't wait for The Simpsons movie!! I don't know if I'll get to see it this weekend or not, but hopefully it'll be soon. I even put a Simpsons band-aid on the blister I got on my ankle when I went hiking wearing my shoes that are too small. It was about 15 years old and probably coated in bacteria which is probably the reason why I'm in excruciating pain every time I bend my ankle, but I had to keep with the theme.

Check out how much the Kwik-E-Mart 7-11s sold:

960,000 cans of Buzz Cola
1.1 million Squishees
880,400 Sprinklicious doughnuts
More than 3.4 million units of Simpsons swag

It's not surprising though. How can you resist a 3 for the price of 3 deal?

Speaking of my hiking, I think I might start running again. I ran a little bit on Sunday when I was out and it was fun. I couldn't run too far though, because I wasn't wearing a sports bra and I'm a little busty. It was like a scary, unsexy episode of Baywatch. I'll need to buy an MP3 player though; I can't run without music and I don't think bringing my Walkman along will do anything to increase my already hopelessly low coolness factor.

Check out this video of an entertainment reporter interviewing Holly Hunter. Awkward! Rusty, you probably shouldn't watch.

Shit! Why does YouTube randomly not let me embed videos sometimes?! Here's the link.

I started reading the first Harry Potter book. I'll let you know if it lives up to the hype.

One Year Closer to Death

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way"

Well, today is the big 2-6. I'm officially in my late 20s. How depressing is that?! I'm going over to my parents' house for dinner and an Oreo cake from Maggie Moo's tonight. I took Monday off to go to IKEA. Birthdays just aren't the same once you're over 21. Remember that, kiddos.

"Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"

*Office spoiler* The Office season finale was pretty good Thursday night. I loved the ending. It would have been cheesy if they had done another kiss, but Jim's silent realization and drive home to ask Pam out were nice. I wonder what Karen is going to think when she realizes Jim left her in New York? I thought she'd get the job since Rashida Jones is going to be in a sitcom next season. I guess we'll find out in four months. In other Office news, Jenna Fischer broke her back while she was walking down a marble staircase in high heels. The article I read said she's expected to make a full recovery and it won't affect next season's Office. Here's hoping that she has a speedy recovery!

"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death"

Congratulations to my Bears for winning the East Division Final. Game 1 of the Eastern Conference final against the Manchester Monarchs is tonight. Good luck, guys!

"Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say"

I heard on the radio station that the receptionist at work listens to that R. Kelly compared himself to Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that MLKJ never pissed on a 14-year-old. What a tool.

I just finished reading Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres. It was an amazing book! Actually, and I probably shouldn't be saying this, I read about 200+ pages at work on Wednesday because it was an extremely slow day. It's a memoir about Julia's life growing in a white family living in the Midwest with two adopted black children and her close friendship with one of her adopted brothers. Her parents, devout Christians, send them to a reform school in the Dominican Republic, which isn't any better than their life of emotional and verbal abuse at home. I highly recommend the book.

Potpourri

I've been out of the groove for the past week or so and am now just getting back in. Hopefully I'll be a little better at updating LG&E.

L. and I had tons of fun at Rusty's place. We crammed a lot into our four days in Mooresville! On Saturday we visited Lowe's Motor Speedway and took a tour. While we were checking out the track some people were out doing laps on it, and you really get a rush of adrenaline when they drive by where you're standing. I can see why Rusty likes it! In the evening we went to Rusty's church and then out for dinner. We went back to her place and I crashed since I had been up since 4:30 that morning.

On Sunday we bought tickets for a luxury home tour. Most of the homes were awesome, but one in particular was the most incredible house I've ever been in. It was $3.2 million, although in York it would cost twice that. The first thing you notice when you walk in the door is a big plate of glass (etched with grapes, no less) in the floor that looks down into the wine cellar. That's the point when I knew this wasn't a typical York County McMansion. The house boasted a walk-in beer cave (it's exactly what it sounds like), a hot tub with a lowered edge that allowed water to cascade into the pool below, and a fireplace and big-screen TV in the master bathroom above the jacuzzi tub. I don't know about you all, but I would be afraid that the TV would fall off the wall and into the tub, electrocuting me. The sinks in all the bathrooms were gorgeous and one of the bathrooms had pebbles inlaid in the floor which looked nice but hurt my feet. The kitchen, of course, was awesome and it had one of those faucets on the wall behind the stovetop that you can use to fill pots. The attention to detail in this house was incredible. I must say, however, that the decor was HIDEOUS!! Apparently you can't buy taste.

That night we had dinner at Chili's (no, I didn't get Awesome Blossom with extra awesome) with Rusty's friend Vanessa. She's British and I could listen to her read the phone book. We headed over to Sonic where I got a chocolate malt which is my favorite sweet food after tiramisu. When we got home from that we sat outside and shot the shit for a couple hours and learned that L. is a quarter Jewish, which Rusty and I think is cool, but she doesn't. If I had to belong to a religion, it would be Judaism. I'd want to be a ethnic Jew though, not just a convert. I definitely have the guilt part down and I love the Old Testament God; he was such a bastard.

On Monday we went to a race shop where they work on the cars that are used in NASCAR. It was much cleaner and quieter than my garage, and they probably don't forget to put the oil cap back on when they change the oil like mine did. After checking that out, we drove to Charlotte, which is the cleanest, nicest city I've even visited. It seems like everything is more well cared for south of the Mason-Dixon line. I loved the tree-lined freeways and the flowers planted in the median down there. Up here our median is usually a concrete barrier. If we have grass in the median it's covered in trash. Flowers? Forget about it. I don't know how they would have the manpower to take care of things though, considering we have more roads per square mile than any other state and you can tell because they're crap. If you were driving down I-83 with your eyes closed you'd be able tell when you crossed the Maryland line because the bumpiness stops. Anyway, I digress. Back to Charlotte. We checked out the Panthers' stadium and even though football is probably the last sport I would ever want to watch, even after curling, it was sort of cool to see the field. I was amazed at how small it was (that's what she said!).

On Tuesday we went to Rusty's school and got to meet her class. I would have like to have more time with them, but unfortunately they had a boring-ass orientation for 6th grade. I wish those little bastards luck; 6th grade was the worst year of my life. I couldn't be around 10- and 11-year-olds all day; they would drive me up the wall! Most of them were cute though. After school we headed straight to the airport, where security went through my bag of dirty underwear, and started our less than one hour journey home. It's pretty amazing that sometimes it takes me longer to drive to work than it took us to fly to Charlotte.

I can't forget the most important part of our trip! We ate a lot of good, fattening food, and I ingested more sugar in four days in sweet tea form than I ingest in a year at home. I majorly need to detox!

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I almost got pulled over this morning going more than 90. I was passing some dumbass on the right. Luckily I knew to look for cops in this particular spot and as soon as I saw the top of those lights I slammed on the brakes. The dumbass was in the passing lane going about 75 which should have gotten him pulled over for A. speeding and B. driving in the left lane without intending to pass someone, but of course he didn't. There's no justice in the world.

I should probably be more cognizant of how I drive. I watched Murderball yesterday, and while those men are amazing, I would rather die than be paralyzed. I don't have the strength, physically or mentally, to deal with that. It's really disconcerting that one moment can change the course of your life forever. I almost cried at the end when the rugby team was explaining the game to the wounded vets. Damn PMS!

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Speaking of wounded vets, Laura Bush said on the Today Show that concerning the war in Iraq, no one is suffering more than she and George. What. The. Fuck?!?!?!?! I'm sorry, but haven't 3,300 American soldiers died? Haven't over 20,000 Americans been injured? What about Iraqis who have died? Here's what this source says about total deaths (US and non-US) from the war: "Counting all civilians, military, contractors, insurgents, and non-Iraqi civilians, at least 70,000; to as many as 655,000+ total excess deaths due to the war (second Lancet survey of mortality)." Hey, Mrs. Bush. How about sending your daughters to Iraq, having one of them die and one lose her legs, and then you can tell the American public that your suffering is worse than theirs. Furthermore, there has been little to no outcry about this. I first read it in a little blurb in our paper. When John Kerry "insulted" (one of my feet is in the camp that he was trying to insult Bush but didn't get it out quite right) the troops it was plastered all over every media outlet.

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I'm going back to my psychiatrist this Thursday. I don't think I ever mentioned this, but about a year and a half ago I went and was put on Wellbutrin. I was happy for the first time in ages, had no desire to smoke, and had no appetite (I know that's not a good side effect, but I was fine with it.). Life was good. But life's not allowed to be good, so my body decided to give me hives that made me want to kill myself. I had them in my throat, on the bottom of my feet, my thighs were one big, red welt; it was horrible. My doctor asked me if I wanted to try something else, but at the time I didn't because I was afraid of having another reaction. For some reason I've been in a pretty bad depression since about the beginning of this year, so I decided I should try meds again. I know it's the easy way out, but it's not like I haven't tried therapy and self-talk and all that other stuff. Therapy doesn't help me. My insight is good and I don't need to be told obvious things. I know that if I hate my job I should get a new one or if I'm unhappy about my weight I should eat better and exercise more. I don't need to pay to be told those things. I have a couple minor situational things going on and I'm hoping this will help me deal with them better. I've been in a really dark place for the past couple of months. That sounds a lot more melodramatic than it is, but I'm tired of being on the verge of tears all the time, having no motivation to do even the things I like, and feeling like I want to die.

Tidbits

Yesterday was the first day in months I was able to have almost every window in the house open and not be cold; the fresh air was awesome. I can feel my winter funk starting to lift. Plus, it's now daylight savings time!!

I upgraded our Netflix subscription to 4 at a time. If you don't have Netflix and you're considering getting it, do it.

Funniest lines from yesterday's Arrested Development watching (both from Tobias): "Allow me to change out of my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in Prince of Tides ass-masking pantsuit." and "I was an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist."

Best transition from a TV show to a commercial: After Sandra Lee finished putting "Caesar" salad on top of a pizza (?!), the show cut to a commercial for Bird's Eye vegetables. Commercial announcer: "You often sacrifice flavor for convenience." Well played, if that was intentional.

Raves

I do enough ranting on this blog, so here are some raves.

I watched Taxi Driver this weekend and was left wondering why the hell I waited so long to see it. The movie was gritty and raw, and I can't think of any movie that I've seen that is a better character study that this one. Released in 1976, it was nominated for and/or won several awards, most notably the Golden Palm at Cannes and Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Lead Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Original Score. Travis Bickle, played without flaw by Robert DeNiro, is a cab driver disgusted by his surroundings. Throughout the whole movie, Travis moves closer and closer to the edge of sanity. We get glimpses into his past; all the straws that are piling up on the camel's back, but we are never told the whole story. He tells Betsy (Cybill Shepherd) that she's just like all the others when she refuses to see him again after an ill-advised second date at a porn house, but we don't know what what "the others" did to hurt Travis. He writes to his parents that he still can't give them his address, but we don't know how long Travis has been living in his filthy closed-sized apartment, hiding from the world with only his delusions that he works for the government and that he alone has the power to clean up the streets and right all of society's wrongs to keep him company.

"Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me."

The viewer can feel Travis's discomfort and angst, which is a direct result of Scorsese's masterful directing and DeNiro's brilliant performance. The tension builds and builds until one hot summer night when Travis can't take it any longer. The ending is ambiguous enough that a first-time viewer like myself can't be sure if it's real or a fantasy, although I'm sure there are many who are more well-versed who have their theories and opinions. Also worth mentioning are excellent performances by Harvey Keitel, Peter Boyle, and surprisingly, Jodie Foster, whom I have always considered to be wooden.


Another good movie I saw recently was Sherrybaby. This movie is the story of Sherry (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a young woman who is trying to get her life back on track upon being released from prison after serving three years. I admire Gyllenhaal because she's willing to take on roles that aren't going to launch her into "superstardom," i.e. playing the lead in a formulaic romantic comedy like Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan. Sherry teeters between going back to her former life and trying to live as a decent member of society. Her journey finds her reuniting with her daughter; relapsing; mouthing off to her parole officer; using sex to overcome low self-esteem; and dealing with a cast of characters including her sexually abusive father, an aggressive tenant at her halfway house, and the manipulative director of her program. We watch her try to move from a life of instant gratification, whether it be shooting up or offering sexual favors in exchange for a job, to a more adult life where it takes time for things to fall into place. This movie can at times be uncomfortable, but so is life.


Finally, I leave you with a video that Chris sent me of Ricky Gervais interviewing Larry David. I'm surprised the universe didn't implode with two comedic geniuses in one room.

Ricky Gervais meets Larry David
Uploaded by deep

All That Preparation...

...and now it's over. I'm actually glad Christmas is over. I get so sick of hearing Christmas carols and seeing Christmas commercials. Maybe if they didn't start in June they wouldn't be so irritating by December. I'm back at work, doing the job of 4 people, cursing myself for not becoming a teacher so I could have this whole week off. I had a nice little 5-day weekend though. On Friday I went to the grocery store and got a hair cut and for the life of me I can't remember what else I did. Early Saturday morning I dropped my car off to get the oil changed and then my dad and I went out for breakfast. At lunchtime I went to the hospital where I used to work to visit and get some free food. Then I watched True Colors which made me decide to take all the John Cusack movies that sound stupid off my Netflix queue.

On Saturday my mom had my grandma over for brunch (she was invited to their house for Christmas day, but the golden son, my uncle, was having Christmas dinner at his house so of course she had to go there) so I stopped by give my grandma her present so I could avoid having to get together with the Fox News watchin', deer huntin', Bible thumpin', George Bush votin' for side of my family. There's nothing wrong with them, we just obviously don't have too much in common. Every time I talked to her for the past few months she has gone on about how she has asked the golden grandchild, my cousin, to come over and wash her car but he never did. I decided to get her a gift certificate to Cloister car wash so she would quit her bitching. Her response was, "They scratched my sister's car and didn't pay for it." You're welcome, grandma. Last year she didn't even say anything when I gave her her present, so I guess this was a step up. When she opened my parents' present (a gift card to Wal-Mart and to the grocery store) she said, "I guess I'll use those." This is the same grandma who had this to say about the card I sent her a few years ago: "It's not a real Christmas card because it's not religious and it's the same one you sent me last year." Guess who is off my Christmas present list for next year? And I'll be more than happy to tell her why when she asks. In the evening we went to Chris's grandparents' house for dinner. It was saner than my family's gatherings. Chris and I exchanged presents when we got home. I got season 5 of Curb Your Enthusiasm (that show is freaking hilarious, by the way), a gift card to Linens N Things, a Georgia O'Keefe calendar (he said he took special care to find one with the least vagina-looking flowers), and a universal remote to replace the piece-of-shit one that I bought to replace that original one that broke. I gave him guitar strings, Naked Pictures of Famous People by Jon Stewart, and Season 9 of The Simpsons which was missing a disc. Of freaking course I grab the one that's missing a disc.

On Monday we went back to Chris's grandparents' house because his mom is in a rehab hospital and was allowed to come home for Christmas day. *Reading over that it sounds like she's in drug rehab; it's physical therapy* After that we headed over to my parents' house for dinner. My aunt was visiting from Cincinnati and she's usually a bitch, but she was pretty decent this year. I tell people she's like Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous but no one has ever seen that show. Basically she's the kind of person who uses the word fabulous in an unironic way.

Yesterday I didn't do jack shit except go to Target to exchange the Simpsons DVDs. It was a glorious day. Is it bad that I'm already ready for my upcoming 3-day weekend? I hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a good (and safe) New Year!

Random Randomness

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was dating one of the members of Aerosmith. Not Joe Perry, the only hot one, but this guy. Tom Hamilton is the bassist for Aerosmith and I'm sad that I know that, but I had an obsession in 7th grade. I suppose if I had to date one of them (other than Joe), it would be him, but he's not too far from being old enough to be my grandfather, so ew.

I watched Breakfast on Tiffany's on Saturday. Could that movie be any more racist? [/Chandler Bing] I'm not a huge fan of 60's movies. I think it's because the acting was different in some way, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't know that it's overacting, per se, but it's weird. I do have to say that George Peppard is hot though.

I hate Bath and Body Works. I love their stuff (even though it's obscenely overpriced) but the store is so tiny, the display tables are placed about an inch apart, the salespeople are annoying and pushy, and our B&BW is so hot! They have a million high-wattage lights that make the store 100 degrees. That plus the body heat of 50 people crammed into a 2-inch square equals a very unpleasant shopping experience. The only reason I went today was because when I was Christmas shopping they pressured me into spending $5 more to get a $10 gift card, which said I had a $0 balance when I went to check out which is odd considering I never used the damn thing. I thought it wouldn't be crowded since I went during church when it's usually just me and the other heathens. Of course the mall was packed. What's the meaning of Christmas again? Oh yeah, the birth of Jesus. I didn't read the part of the Bible where Jesus said to go to the mall and walk around like herds of cattle giving money to greedy corporations instead of going to church. On the way out I almost knocked a hideous candle holder onto the floor because only people who are 2 inches wide can easily walk through that damn store. I did break something the last time I was there; thank god they didn't make me buy it.

I hate the fact that so many McMansions are being built in York. Every empty parcel of land is being turned into a development of shoddily-built $400K homes. The nouveau riche can turn right around and go back to Maryland. How about building affordable homes for middle class people? I can't afford to buy a $400K home (and believe the hell out of me, if I could it wouldn't be one of those homes) and I'm not going to buy a $50K home in the ghetto of York. A rancher in my parents' neighborhood sold for almost $200K. It's a solidly-built home, but you've got to be kidding me with that price.

I just saw a commercial for Wal-Mart. I think the idea was that the woman bought a tray of deli meats but when she went to serve it she realized that all of her guests worked at a deli (they were all wearing aprons). Since Wal-Mart was so cheap she was able to afford backup. WTF?! I'm assuming that since these are guests in your home they're either friends or family. Doesn't this woman know where her friends and family work? I would think it would be a conversation started that they all work in delis and all show up to Christmas dinner in their uniforms. I try to be around my family as little as possible, but I know where they work.

News outlets are making a big deal over the police officer who told two black men that they would get out of a littering ticket if they rapped. According to the account I read, the men made up funny raps (the lyrics are in the article), were laughing the whole time, and the police officer joked around with them about football. The picture in the article I linked shows one man giving the officer five; both are smiling. Bad judgment? Yes. Racist? No. Then men who were pulled over weren't even the ones who complained! I say if those men have a problem with it then it's an issue; otherwise, it's not. If Officer Cletus told me to sing a country song to get out of the ticket I would have gladly done so. Way to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Speaking of my run-in with Officer Cletus, my speeding ticket was $131. A woman in York who was speeding in a school zone and hit a crossing guard, breaking both of her legs resulting in her inability to work (you sort of have to be able to stand to be a crossing guard) got a $120 ticket. Makes sense.

Cue Twilight Zone Theme Song

I'm thoroughly creeped out. Good things are happening to me. I decided to stop at the grocery store on the way home to beat the storm. Of course it started pouring just as I finished shopping. I wasn't surprised since whatever decision I make is usually the wrong one. Miraculously it stopped just as I was ready to leave the store! As soon as I finished loading my groceries into my trunk, the power went out. Normally that would happen while I was still in line and I wouldn't be able to check out. Then I realized that the power at home would probably be out since I live 5 minutes away from the grocery store. "Tonight'll be fun," I thought. Guess what? The power was on in my neighborhood even though it was out everywhere else! Score! I'm totally expecting our house to burn down tonight or something.

News Quickies

There is a new procedure where surgeons take hair from the scalp and sew it onto the eyelids, creating false eyelashes. That's freaking disgusting. My eyelashes are thin as hell, but I wear mascara and they look fine. Source

"President clarifies 'stay the course.' It really means 'constantly adjusting the tactics,' he declares." Ooooookaaaay... Those ideas are opposites, but whatever. Mr. President, you can call a pile of shit a rosebush, but it's still a pile of shit. Source

Rush Limbaugh is up to his asshattery again. Now he's mocking Michael J. Fox. Fox has been appearing in political ads for people who support stem cell research, such as Rep. Ben Cardin of Maryland and Claire McCaskill of Missouri. Limbaugh's response to Fox's appearance in the ads: "He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act...This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting." Nice. I can't imagine what it's like to have a disease that could be possibly cured by treatments found using stem cell research and have not only the government opposing this testing based on their right-wing agenda but also a blowhard who is constantly kissing the asses of conservatives making fun of my disease. Source

Small victory of the day: New Jersey courts will extend civil rights to gay couples. Lawmakers are trying to decide if they will let them marry or just have a civil union. Source

The World in Which We Live

This story of the 67-year-old social worker who was killed while taking a child for a visit with his mother hits close to home for me since I did in-home work with families whose children were involved in Children and Youth Services before I took my current position with the company. Fortunately I never had families who I felt were dangerous. Some were assholes or nasty pieces of trash, but never dangerous (and on the flip side, some were wonderful). We had to go to some pretty bad neighborhoods though. My time in that position was relatively drama-free, but I was, quite randomly I might add, accused by a client's husband of plotting with her to kill him. This family's picture is in the dictionary under dysfunctional--I could write a book. It's actually a funny story, but I'll get back on topic. This quote in particular resonated with me:

"Family services spokeswoman Vikki Franklin acknowledged that it is common practice for social aides to travel alone. "But if a worker should be concerned about safety, he or she can request an escort by a police officer or another social worker."

But another social worker said such escorts are rarely requested because workers are typically so pressed that they don't have the time to arrange for an escort."

The notion of having someone to accompany you to a dangerous pace is bullshit. I was going to be given a family who lived on one of the most drug-infested streets of the city (Rusty--Chestnut St.) and when I said I wasn't really comfortable taking that case I was told I didn't really have a choice because I needed to make my hours. Thank Jebus that I left before I got that family. While most of the supervisors and other employees were at their cozy homes with their families at night, we peons were most often walking around in the ghetto at night. I learned right quick that social work was not the job for me and I have the utmost respect for anyone who can do that. It's a low-paying, thankless job. I say fry 'em.

On Being Rich

My annual salary + approximately $12,000 = what Oprah makes in one minute.

Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA and a billionaire, drives a 1993 Volvo.

If I were rich I'd keep my car (2002 Honda Accord) and buy another one in case I get a flat tire, which happens to me every five seconds. I'd never in a million years spend money on a luxury car. That's such a waste.