Monday, April 30, 2007

Potpourri

I've been out of the groove for the past week or so and am now just getting back in. Hopefully I'll be a little better at updating LG&E.

L. and I had tons of fun at Rusty's place. We crammed a lot into our four days in Mooresville! On Saturday we visited Lowe's Motor Speedway and took a tour. While we were checking out the track some people were out doing laps on it, and you really get a rush of adrenaline when they drive by where you're standing. I can see why Rusty likes it! In the evening we went to Rusty's church and then out for dinner. We went back to her place and I crashed since I had been up since 4:30 that morning.

On Sunday we bought tickets for a luxury home tour. Most of the homes were awesome, but one in particular was the most incredible house I've ever been in. It was $3.2 million, although in York it would cost twice that. The first thing you notice when you walk in the door is a big plate of glass (etched with grapes, no less) in the floor that looks down into the wine cellar. That's the point when I knew this wasn't a typical York County McMansion. The house boasted a walk-in beer cave (it's exactly what it sounds like), a hot tub with a lowered edge that allowed water to cascade into the pool below, and a fireplace and big-screen TV in the master bathroom above the jacuzzi tub. I don't know about you all, but I would be afraid that the TV would fall off the wall and into the tub, electrocuting me. The sinks in all the bathrooms were gorgeous and one of the bathrooms had pebbles inlaid in the floor which looked nice but hurt my feet. The kitchen, of course, was awesome and it had one of those faucets on the wall behind the stovetop that you can use to fill pots. The attention to detail in this house was incredible. I must say, however, that the decor was HIDEOUS!! Apparently you can't buy taste.

That night we had dinner at Chili's (no, I didn't get Awesome Blossom with extra awesome) with Rusty's friend Vanessa. She's British and I could listen to her read the phone book. We headed over to Sonic where I got a chocolate malt which is my favorite sweet food after tiramisu. When we got home from that we sat outside and shot the shit for a couple hours and learned that L. is a quarter Jewish, which Rusty and I think is cool, but she doesn't. If I had to belong to a religion, it would be Judaism. I'd want to be a ethnic Jew though, not just a convert. I definitely have the guilt part down and I love the Old Testament God; he was such a bastard.

On Monday we went to a race shop where they work on the cars that are used in NASCAR. It was much cleaner and quieter than my garage, and they probably don't forget to put the oil cap back on when they change the oil like mine did. After checking that out, we drove to Charlotte, which is the cleanest, nicest city I've even visited. It seems like everything is more well cared for south of the Mason-Dixon line. I loved the tree-lined freeways and the flowers planted in the median down there. Up here our median is usually a concrete barrier. If we have grass in the median it's covered in trash. Flowers? Forget about it. I don't know how they would have the manpower to take care of things though, considering we have more roads per square mile than any other state and you can tell because they're crap. If you were driving down I-83 with your eyes closed you'd be able tell when you crossed the Maryland line because the bumpiness stops. Anyway, I digress. Back to Charlotte. We checked out the Panthers' stadium and even though football is probably the last sport I would ever want to watch, even after curling, it was sort of cool to see the field. I was amazed at how small it was (that's what she said!).

On Tuesday we went to Rusty's school and got to meet her class. I would have like to have more time with them, but unfortunately they had a boring-ass orientation for 6th grade. I wish those little bastards luck; 6th grade was the worst year of my life. I couldn't be around 10- and 11-year-olds all day; they would drive me up the wall! Most of them were cute though. After school we headed straight to the airport, where security went through my bag of dirty underwear, and started our less than one hour journey home. It's pretty amazing that sometimes it takes me longer to drive to work than it took us to fly to Charlotte.

I can't forget the most important part of our trip! We ate a lot of good, fattening food, and I ingested more sugar in four days in sweet tea form than I ingest in a year at home. I majorly need to detox!

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I almost got pulled over this morning going more than 90. I was passing some dumbass on the right. Luckily I knew to look for cops in this particular spot and as soon as I saw the top of those lights I slammed on the brakes. The dumbass was in the passing lane going about 75 which should have gotten him pulled over for A. speeding and B. driving in the left lane without intending to pass someone, but of course he didn't. There's no justice in the world.

I should probably be more cognizant of how I drive. I watched Murderball yesterday, and while those men are amazing, I would rather die than be paralyzed. I don't have the strength, physically or mentally, to deal with that. It's really disconcerting that one moment can change the course of your life forever. I almost cried at the end when the rugby team was explaining the game to the wounded vets. Damn PMS!

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Speaking of wounded vets, Laura Bush said on the Today Show that concerning the war in Iraq, no one is suffering more than she and George. What. The. Fuck?!?!?!?! I'm sorry, but haven't 3,300 American soldiers died? Haven't over 20,000 Americans been injured? What about Iraqis who have died? Here's what this source says about total deaths (US and non-US) from the war: "Counting all civilians, military, contractors, insurgents, and non-Iraqi civilians, at least 70,000; to as many as 655,000+ total excess deaths due to the war (second Lancet survey of mortality)." Hey, Mrs. Bush. How about sending your daughters to Iraq, having one of them die and one lose her legs, and then you can tell the American public that your suffering is worse than theirs. Furthermore, there has been little to no outcry about this. I first read it in a little blurb in our paper. When John Kerry "insulted" (one of my feet is in the camp that he was trying to insult Bush but didn't get it out quite right) the troops it was plastered all over every media outlet.

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I'm going back to my psychiatrist this Thursday. I don't think I ever mentioned this, but about a year and a half ago I went and was put on Wellbutrin. I was happy for the first time in ages, had no desire to smoke, and had no appetite (I know that's not a good side effect, but I was fine with it.). Life was good. But life's not allowed to be good, so my body decided to give me hives that made me want to kill myself. I had them in my throat, on the bottom of my feet, my thighs were one big, red welt; it was horrible. My doctor asked me if I wanted to try something else, but at the time I didn't because I was afraid of having another reaction. For some reason I've been in a pretty bad depression since about the beginning of this year, so I decided I should try meds again. I know it's the easy way out, but it's not like I haven't tried therapy and self-talk and all that other stuff. Therapy doesn't help me. My insight is good and I don't need to be told obvious things. I know that if I hate my job I should get a new one or if I'm unhappy about my weight I should eat better and exercise more. I don't need to pay to be told those things. I have a couple minor situational things going on and I'm hoping this will help me deal with them better. I've been in a really dark place for the past couple of months. That sounds a lot more melodramatic than it is, but I'm tired of being on the verge of tears all the time, having no motivation to do even the things I like, and feeling like I want to die.

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8 Comments:

Blogger metamorphose said...

You know, I laugh and then I cry at your posts...okay I don't really cry, but I...feel?

Ugh -I can relate to the anti-depressants. That sucks about what the Wellbutrin did to you. Whatever you do, don't go on Effexor. That's stuff a BITCH to come off of.

I really felt I didn't need talk therapy either -due to my own insight, but I found it truly helped just having someone listen. Most of the time when I see my shrink, all I do is talk, and he just listens. He doesn't have me do anything special, or tell me anything I don't already know. It sounds so simple, but really, I think it helps just having someone listen -(a person who doesn't have anything to do with your life, therefore can't pipe in about their problems when you're trying to talk about yours.) It may seem like a waste of time, but I think it helped me with my depression. Seriously.

Of course, if the therapist is a jerk-off, it's no use. Have to make sure you're seeing the right person.

Anyway, I hope the meds help and I wish you the best of luck.

I so need to watch Murderball now. My boyfriend was telling me about that show forever ago.

4/30/2007 11:36 AM  
Blogger B. said...

Wow. That was a really dumb thing Laura said. I don't think she meant it disrespectfully, I think she meant that they "suffer" because her husband is the one that made the decision to send our men and women into war. She definitely could have said something different, though.

Glad you had a great time with Rusty!

4/30/2007 5:25 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

We really DID have fun, didn't we? I need post some of those pictures. :)

By the way, I have a great way to fix some problems of yours...

...move here.

4/30/2007 7:13 PM  
Blogger Funky Smith said...

Good luck with the dr. You're not alone. Maybe I'll take some KY jelly to my job too.

4/30/2007 10:38 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5/01/2007 12:30 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

The best therapy is a shotgun and an alibi.

As for the Laura quote, she knows that 25-50 years from now all of the inforamtion regarding HW's time in office will come out and he will disgrased. Look at how people think of Nixon and Agnew now and imagine it 100% worse.

Her words are just from a person isoslated from the real world. The only news she probably gets is the "good" news. Plus she is surrounded by people who were in favor of the war and are going to say good things about it. I doubt she knows what an IED is.

I wonder what would happen if she met my cousin or my co-worker who walks around with a cane now. They both were victoms of this war and the government that is supposed to take care of them when they get hurt. Even I feel guilty and I was against the war before it happened.

"Maybe the meds will make me oblivious to the ass rapage."

You should totally get those drugs!

I dunno if its the Vallium, Adderal or the fact that I've only had two hours of sleep but I feel it's appropriate to say that. =D

Oh, as someone who actually is crazy I can tell you to prepare for a ton of pain before you find something that works. And no matter what STAY THE FUCK AWAY from Celexa!

5/01/2007 12:32 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

Why is there no edit function?!

I just wanted to add that Laura hasnt been speaking much lately. Back in the gold 'ole days she was always in the camera. Now during her rare appearences she looks quite doped up. I think she turned into that crazy first lady from 24. Maybe it was guilt....

5/01/2007 12:36 PM  
Blogger March to the Sea said...

i like this post..lots of stuff to talk about..but I need to focus..hmmmm

5/01/2007 12:47 PM  

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