Miscellaneous

A coworker did Reiki on me the other day. It was nice, but I wouldn't pay $75 for it. I'm not a spiritual person at all, but let me tell you, I was extremely relaxed on the drive home. So relaxed, in fact, that I pulled into my driveway and didn't remember driving home at all. One of the things she told me is that the spirits demanded that she tell me to relax, so I'm going to work on relaxing more. My goal is to be like Peter in Office Space, but with a little less money laundering.

Speaking of not worrying, I just found out on Thursday night that they are creating an office manager job that would be perfect for me. The person would supervise support staff, do some HR, and generally make sure the York, Harrisburg, and Lancaster offices run smoothly. I already am essentially the office manager in Harrisburg, but I don't have the authority to do anything or the pay of a supervisor. Plus, I should probably have some kind of supervisory experience if I want to get a full-time library job that pays more than minimum wage. I'm pretty sure I'd be qualified to do this (my current supervisor doesn't even have a Bachelor's degree), but my fear is that they are transferring me to a job that no one else in-house would be able to do, and they might not want to go through the hassle of hiring and training someone else. I really want this though, so wish me luck!

My hatred of PETA knows no bounds, but they've really done it this time. They are asking Ben and Jerry's to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their ice cream. WTF?!?! First of all, no offense to all the mothers out there, but that is fucking disgusting. Second of all, you don't mess with my Ben and Jerry's. This idea is so ludicrous for a variety of reasons that I'm not going to mention because anyone with two brain cells to rub together (in other words, people who aren't members of PETA) can see how flawed it is. It's so stupid that I'm wondering if it's a joke.

I just finished Season 2 of Dexter and I sent an e-mail to March since he wants to talk about it...still haven't heard back. Where are you Maaaaaach?!

In other TV news, I completely forgot to watch The Office premier on Thursday night. I guess that takes it off my list of the top 10 shows. I did watch it on Hulu and it was good, but I still think the magic that they had in the first two seasons is gone. I won't talk about any specifics since some people may not have watched it, but right now I much prefer 30 Rock. I loved season 1, and season 2 is coming out on October 7 and is on my queue.

Simpsons Quotes

I've had this post simmering for a while, but considering I had a message at work today from a man named Seymour Butts (hand to God!), I figured now was a great time to post it. This is a list of my 10 favorite Simpsons quotes, in no particular order:

Mr. Burns: "Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes cost me the election, yet if I were to have them killed, I'd be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

Skinner: "Nibbles, chew through my ball sack."

Kang: "Abortions for all."
[Half of crowd boos]
"Very well, no abortions for anyone.
[Other half of crowd boos]
Hmm...Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
[Whole crowd cheers]

Shary Bobbins: "Hello Willie."
Lisa: "You know her?"
Willie: "Aye. Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her."
Shary: "It's good to see you , Willie."
Willie: "That's not what you said the first time you saw me!"

Troy McClure: "Hi! I'm actor Troy McClure and you may remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Some Confidence, Stupid."

Ned: [Walking up, singing] Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the--oh my Lord! Something horrible has happened!
Homer: [Snickers, then laughs] Fooled you Flanders! Made you think your family was dead!

Ned: Oooh...That's quite a thing-a-ma-jigsaw! But it looks like you're missing a piece...
Homer: Looks like you're missing a wife!
Flanders: Heh heh. I walked right into that one.

Homer (singing to the tune of the Flintstones theme song): Simpson/Homer Simpson/He's the greatest guy in history/From the/town of Springfield/He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

Homer, in a video he made in which he describes Lisa: "My favorite book is magazines."

Homer: "Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!"
Homer's Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!"
Homer: "Explain how!"
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services!"
Homer: "Woo-hoo!"

And a bonus:

Homer: "Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Ham?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Pork chops?"
Lisa: "Dad, those all come from the same animal."
Homer: "Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."

Woot!

These are for Rusty to hopefully make up for cheating on our man (I never truly left him, I was just getting a little sumtin' sumtin' on the side):

Theft! from TWoP:

Idol Thoughts

Tuesday night:

Enough with the boxing metaphors!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For: Wow. I am so in love with David Cook.
Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me: Fantastic. Round 1 was awesome.

Dreck #1: Eh. Not bad for one of the coronation songs. It could be worse.
Dreck #2: And it is worse...

The World I Know: I hate this song, but I liked it when David did it. Same deal with Don't Want to Miss a Thing from last week. That's one of my least favorite songs in the history of songs, but I liked David doing it. Maybe I will buy his CD after all...
Imagine: Whatever.

Wednesday night:

I love things that are cheesy as well as things that are bombastic, and tonight proved to be both. Woot!

David, please no more wallet chain. This isn't 1995.

Mike Myers annoys the bejesus out of me in everything except Wayne's World, but I chuckled a few times during the guru bit. And it was worth it to see David C. cracking up, David A. catching the shaving cream, and Ryan riding around on the carpet.

Jason's Hallelujah Part Deux: Awesome! I love this kid!!

Ummm...holy shit...David in his underwear.

Bo Bice!!

So those are the Jonas Brothers. Eh.

Way to backpedal, Simon.

David Cook FTMFW!!!!!!!!!

Awww...Loved the "That's my brother" at the end.

No one I've liked has ever won before. I don't know if this will be good or bad.

Well, I finally have my life back till January. It's been fun.

Where Have I Been?

March was wondering this the other day; I can only assume it's because he's secretly hankering for more Idol Thoughts. May is usually my busiest month because that's when I come out of hibernation and there are always a lot of birthday dinners for myself and a couple of my friends who share May birthdays. This May has been no exception. As you all know, I've been having nervous breakdowns over cataloging since January. I handed in my final paper in the end of April, then headed off to Mooresville to see Rusty. Two weeks after that, Chris and I went for a long weekend in Washington, D.C. and then right after that, my first summer class started. My second summer class starts June 3; yes, they overlap. And the birthday dinners haven't even started yet! The first one is today, I'm still waiting to hear back from L. (If you're reading this, thanks for ignoring me!! :)) and another friend, there is a breakfast pending with some old co-workers, and an outing to see Sex in the City with a current co-worker coming up. That's a lot for someone who is as adept at sitting on her ass as I am.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. D.C. pics are forthcoming; I don't have too many because the weather was horrible. Steady rains and temperatures 25 degrees below normal sort of marred my big plans, but I had a good time nonetheless. I ended up getting an 88% in Cataloging. I'm usually not happy with a B in a class for which I did so much work, but that was hell and I had D at one point, so I can't complain about a B. Especially since he ripped my paper apart... It's also a little annoying that he considers an 89% an A, so I just missed it. But, as one of my co-workers told me (remember what I said about working with therapists?), I need to let go of the negativity and move on.

I had my first session of my first summer class this past weekend and it was the best class I've had so far. I adore the professor (and I think she really likes me) and only looked at my watch about 3 times, compared to 3,000 times in my other weekend classes. I'm actually considering switching the class I chose in the fall to have her again. On a side note, I just found out that someone else will be teaching cataloging next time it's offered. Arghh!!!!!!! If I had waited, perhaps I could have had a professor who doesn't have such an arbitrary grading system. Sorry; letting go of the negativity... I'm dreading having these two summer classes overlapping (the first one is three weekends and the second is online) because we have to do as much in 5 weeks as we would normally do in 4 months, but by July 3 I'll be 6 credits closer to graduating. By Christmas I'll have 7 out of 12 classes and all I'll have left to take is electives, so I can take things that actually interest me.

There aren't any Idol Thoughts for last week because I worked Tuesday night and my Ti-faux is still out of commission, so I taped it and only watched David Cook's performances. No surprises Wednesday night; Syesha should have gone weeks ago. The Office season finale was Thursday and it was great. Pathetically, I'm glad that I'll have my life back after Wednesday. I rarely watch TV in the summer, and I won't have time to until July anyway. I even bumped my Netflix subscription down to 2 at a time.

Work is still insanely busy, compounded by the fact that I've been off so many days in the past month. I'm off again on Monday, so next week will be crazy again, but I'm hoping that things will calm down after that. Obviously we're closed on Memorial Day, but there's a huge difference in the amount of work required when I'm off on a vacation day compared to a day we're closed. It hasn't helped that they were switching the servers, so our MIS has been down a lot and 95% of what I do requires the ability to use it. The only other thing on the work front is that we got new computers (our old ones were castoffs from the state, so they were probably about 10 years old).
Now it takes less than 2 minutes to open a new window and I have a flat-screen monitor so I have free space on my desk! Woot!

So, with everything that's going on, I'll be posting D. C. pics and Idol Thoughts next week and then probably won't be around too much till July unless something awesome or stupid happens. I expect it'll be the latter. I hope everyone has a good beginning of the summer!

Every Time That I Plant a Seed...

...they say kill it before it grows.

Good bye, sweet Jason. I fully expected not to watch this season after the crapfests that were seasons 5 and 6. That all changed during the top 20 when I saw the most awesome pre-performance package ever:



By the end of that performance, I was smitten. I became something much more than smitten after Hallelujah, one of the absolute best Idol performances ever. I'm talking chills, people. I actually voted for an hour; before then (and I've been watching since the middle of the first season), I had cast exactly two votes.



I started looking into Jason's pre-Idol performances and found Crazy, which was unable to be shown on the show due to Dangermouse not giving permission:



The finals were really a mixed bag for Jason. Even Memory, which I consider to be his worst performance, was earnest and moving. Every week Jason came out and gave it his all, changing songs up, playing an instrument almost every week, putting a huge smile on my face during the goofy group medleys, and never once forgetting his lyrics until Tuesday (*cough* David Archuleta *cough*).



All that from a contestant who got no screen time before the top 24, had limited stage experience, and was consistently thrown under the bus.

Of course we all knew it was Jason's time to go last night. He handled it with grace and humor and his singout was the best. singout. ever. Thanks for cutting if off, FOX.



Now, I'm watching for David Cook, but would I buy his album? Probably not. I couldn't possibly care any less about Jon Benet Gaspuleta or ShyMEEEEEsha. Knock 'em dead, Jason, and keep that huge smile on your face. I look forward to your album.

Idol Thoughts

I sat down to watch Idol tonight, and I even planned to take notes so I could do a better analysis, but my Ti-faux decided to crash right after Jason got his first scathing review, so here's what I saw:

David C, "Hungry Like the Wolf" - That was a very sexy performance; I'd say it was average for David, but miles ahead of many of the other performances we've ever seen on Idol. What the hell was Paula talking about with the Boys' Club reference?

Syesha, "Proud Mary" (of course) - This is what I wrote, and hand to God I wrote it before the judges' critique: Tina Turner impersonation, too rehearsed, screamy but I wasn't bored.

Jason, "I Shot the Sheriff" - Cute interview; adorable performance. I liked how he changed things up and thought it was authentic.

David A. - ? Thanks Ti-faux. I'm sure he got a tongue bath though.

David C. - "Baba O'Reilly" - Caught this on VCR. I thought it was a very good performance, although I'm not crazy about this song.

Syesha - Good technically. She's not going home tomorrow night, unfortunately.

Jason - Oh no. Well, he looked good and sounded awesome, but forgetting your lyrics is the kiss of death unless you're David Arculeta.

David A. - Fast forwarded. Watching this kid makes me feel like I'm exploiting him; like I'm watching Jon Benet Ramsey or something.

I was really excited going into tonight because no matter what, one of my favorites will be in the top 3. I predict Jason will go home, which is unfortunate because although I'm ok with him being in the top 4, I really didn't want Syesha to last longer than he did. Does she even have fans? At TWoP she has about 40 pages while the Davids and Jason have about 200. David C. is in first, followed by Jason and then David A. I just don't get it. If I could only buy one album from one of these crew it would definitely be Jason, and I know he'll put one out eventually. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to figure out why the hell my Ti-faux hates me.

I just found this on TWoP and it sums my feelings up quite nicely "If I lose my beloved Jason tomorrow, I just hope Cook kicks everyone else's asses."

Idol Thoughts

Well, I don't have too many Idol Thoughts this week, so here's a quickie version. I flew into Baltimore Tuesday evening; my parents picked me up, we stopped for dinner, got to their house right at 8, I watched until David Cook's second performance, and then I went home. I went to the bathroom during most of David A's performance and went into the kitchen to smoke during Syesha's, so all I really saw was part of David A.'s and Brooke's first performances and both of Jason's and David C.'s. I thought the best of the night was David C. who, much to Rusty's dismay, is now my second AI boyfriend (and yes, I did once call him pasty, greasy, doughy, and disgusting), followed closely by Jason.

I'd be ok if Jason went home next week if Syesha weren't still there. I know he's not going to win, nor do I want him to, but he can't go before her.

I loved Paula's gaffe. This show is such bullshit.

On Wednesday night I got to see Ace but my view was tainted by Constantine.

I fast forwarded through Natasha Beddingfield (sp?) and really liked Neil Diamond's song. Brooke's sing-out was touching.

Idol Thoughts

I know I haven't been posting much; I've been pretty busy lately.

Syesha - She still bothers me, but it was definitely one of her better performances.

Jason - I thought this was the worst of the night. Horrible song choice. Bo survived Broadway week so maybe Jason will too.

David A. - I fast forwarded through most of it. I just can't watch that kid.

Brooke - Second worst of the night. It would have been much better if she hadn't been so nervous after she screwed up. Was it wrong that I was glad she screwed up since it's Jason's only chance at not going home? I thought her dress was pretty till I saw that it was butterflies.

Carly - Yay for doing a song from JCS, boo for it being JCS. At least it wasn't "I Don't Know How to Love Him." Also boo for wearing a dress that had a design that looked like ovaries, fallopian tubes, and a uterus right over where her ovaries, fallopian tubes, and uterus are.

David C. - Fantastic!

Someone should have done the screamy part of Gethsemane.

Idol Thoughts

No Idol Thoughts from last week...it was a busy one (more on that to come).

I thought everyone did pretty well (to varying degrees, of course) on Wednesday night. The worst for me were Syesha and David Cook (I just thought that was a very strange performance). The best was Jason, and I'm saying that totally objectively. I wasn't (as) blinded by lust (as usual) because I wasn't crazy about the outfit. I probably wouldn't have liked Kristy, but I don't know because I used that time to put my dishes away.

I watched about 20-30 minutes' worth of last night's extravaganza. I'm pretty cynical about Idol Gives Back, but it does raise millions of dollars, so maybe I shouldn't be. Although it's sort of hard not to be cynical when ExxonMobil is written at the bottom of my screen and they make millions of dollars every second. Some quick thoughts:

I hate "Please Don't Stop the Music" but I really loved, to a strange degree, Jason's part of the song. I also love watching people who know how to dance well. I'm pretty much the whitest white that ever whited, so my dancing ability is restricted to swaying from side to side completely out of time with the music. It's ok though, because one of the things white people like is standing still at concerts.

Bleep Bloop (although I have Tifaux, so mine just goes "ding.")

I felt sort of embarrassed for Terri Hatcher when she sang "Before He Cheats," but I forgot about that embarrassment when I saw the violinist from Band from TV. Wait, I just looked them up and Terri is in the band. I wasn't ever aware that this existed, although their name makes much more sense now. Apparently the infinitely sexy violinist is Jesse Spencer, who looks a lot less hot on my monitor than he looked on TV last night.

Ding

Why is the "acquitted" rapist Kobe Bryant telling me to give money? Why does he have a white person's flesh-colored band-aid on his face? Now that I think about it, do they even make darker-colored band-aids for African Americans? Who knew that Curad was racist? Who knew that before his rape trial, Kobe had an endorsement deal with Nutella? Who knew that this paragraph would go so far off-topic?

Ding

Heart!!!!! Ann Wilson sounds as great as ever! Ahhhh!! Fergie. Actually, she didn't sound too bad. What is going on tonight? First I'm obtaining enjoyment from a Rihanna song that isn't "Umbrella" and now I'm digging Fergie. Has my brain officially been broken?

Ding

"525,600 Minutes!" I love this song, but the performance isn't so great. Kristy's mike is turned up too loud. Not as good as the version on my original Broadway soundtrack.

Ding

Robin Williams as the Russian Idol is uncomfortable, unfunny, and goes on way too long.

Ding

I was promised by pictures from the taping that there would be white outfits, yet there is one minute to go and Mariah Carey is "singing." Oh, here it is. "Shout to the Lord." I'm a little put off by this. What if they're not Christians? I know Jason, Brooke, and Archie are, and I assume Kristy is, but the others? Did they have a say if they're not? What if they're Buddhists? Some people were pissed that they performed a song from "Rent" and then followed it up with this. It sounds good though, so I'll ignore the lyrics and look at Jason, and in honor of the full-body shot of Jason I'll think of some appropriate lyrics from Salt N Pepa: "Oooh, how you doin' baby? No, not you. You. The bow-legged one. Yeah. What's your name? Jason...that sounds sexy."

Girls, what's my weakness?

Idol Thoughts *Edit*

This is being written by Jen's ghost. She has died because Jason sang in Spanish. Wow! Everyone was pretty good last night! I do feel old though...only Michael is older than I am.

Ramiele - I actually didn't think it was as bad as others do. Of course she's no Ann Wilson and was very off-key while she was belting, but I've heard much worse. Please, though, no shit-eating grins during "Alone." Not a happy song.

Jason - Oh, sweetie. As much as I loved watching you and your brother rocking out (if there's one thing this world needs, it's more keytar) and seeing those gorgeous baby blues and chubby cheeks, I think you're a lock for the bottom 3 tonight and possibly going home. AI is no place for subtlety, my dear. If you don't belt or screech they have no time for you. I thought you were really good, but I'm worried. And dude, what were those pants? It's good that you like showing off your long, lean legs, but please burn those pants immediately. Happy birthday! I feel much less lecherous now that you're 21. If it had been David A's birthday there would have been streamers and clowns and cake for everyone in the audience.
Syesha - I'm really not a fan of this genre of music, but she sang it very well. Now she just needs to stop doing that baby cry.

Jacuzzi - I do have to admit that this was boring and I went into the kitchen to do dishes while he was singing, but I heard it and it sounded good.

Brooke - She gets praise for starting wrong and re-starting? K... I really like Brooke when she's playing the piano or guitar and singing. She should never sing without playing again. Weird song choice though. Sometimes I don't think people realize what that song is about.

Michael - Good! I think I may have left out the "We Will Rock You" part though.

Carly - Something about her bothers me, and I don't know what! I wish I did. I thought she did well even though she messed up the words and whiffed that last note.

David - God, this kid annoys the bejesus out of me. Still, he did pretty well. He was born in December of 1990?! Holy shit! Did he say this song was by John Bonham? The only John Bonham I know is Led Zeppelin's drummer, and something tells me this is not his song. Is this a Christian song or something?

KKKristy - "God Bless the U.S.A." makes me embarrassed to be an American, and it's a little hard for me to be patriotic when 4,000 U.S. soldiers have died in this bullshit war. I know I'm a big asshole, but I seriously can't be the only person who hates that dreck of a song, can I? That was a very shrewd song choice. If you don't vote for KKKristy you support the terrorists and Saddam Hussein's non-existent WMDs and Osama bin Laden and high crude oil prices. Or something...

David - Please explain to me how a person is original if he constantly uses other peoples' arrangements? That ridiculousness aside, I love Michael Jackson (he must be pretty hard up), I love "Billie Jean," and I love Chris Cornell's cover of "Billie Jean." I thought David did a really good, albeit not in any way original, job.

Top 20 American Idol Performances

Because I go through withdraw on the weekends...
In season order

Season 1:

Cheesy Group Sing: California Dreamin'


Season 2:

Cheesy Group Sing: For the Longest Time


Season 3:

Semi-finals: Lisa Leuschner, "Sweet Thing." Robbed, I say!


Semi-finals: Jon Peter Lewis, "A Little Less Conversation"


George Huff, "Take Me to the Pilot"


Season 4: Semi-finals: Nadia Turner, "There's a Power"


Semi-finals: Bo Bice, "Whipping Post"


Carrie Underwood, "Alone"


Bo Bice, "Spinning Wheel" and "Vehicle"



Season 5: Semi-finals: Ace Young, "Father Figure"


Semi-finals: Bucky Covington, "Thunder Rolls"


Chris Daughtry, "I Walk the Line"


Paris Bennett, "The Show Must Go on"


Season 6: Hollywood Week: Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Tom Lowe, and Rudy Cardenas, "How Deep Is Your Love"


Blake Lewis, "You Give Love a Bad Name"


Season 7: Hollywood Week: Josiah Lemming, "Grace Kelly"


Semi-finals: Alexandrea Lushington, "Spinning Wheel" Bonus points for doing "You Know I'm No Good" during Hollywood Week


Semi-finals: Jason Castro, "What a Day for a Daydream" and "I Just Want to Be Your Everything"

Idol Thoughts

Amanda - It was OK. I'm tired of her and I don't like "Back in the USSR."

KKKristy - Ummm...maybe you should have listened to some of the songs before you chose one. I thought that was horrendous. Very awkward movements.

David A - Pretty good. Hate that song. He still bothers me for some reason.

Michael - I laughed out loud when he said he wasn't wearing an earpiece (I didn't think he had been wearing one when Paula was blathering). I thought it was just OK. That's one of my favorite Beatles songs and I don't know that it's really suitable for 1.5 minute treatment...I hated the way he cut it up. Oh Lord, he played the dead friend card (wow, this show has made me somewhat jaded). He just bought himself another week. I still hate the way he moves. It reminds me of a drunk Jim Morrison (although really, is there any other kind?)

Brooke - I really wanted Jason to do that song. It would have been much better sitting and playing the guitar. What's with the awkward movements tonight?

David C - Dude. Whitesnake? I was a little worried when I saw the Peter Frampton device, but I really liked this performance! I even got some tinglies at parts, and I normally find him doughy, greasy, pasty, and repulsive. I'm doughy, greasy, pasty, and repulsive too though, so I can't talk. I despised what he did to "Eleanor Rigby" last week, but I think "Day Tipper" is more of a throwaway song, so it worked.

Carly - Nice, but I could have done without the glory notes. I liked the strings.

Jason - I. Love. This. Boy. Jason singing in French gave me the vapors. If he ever sings in Spanish, I'll die. Of course Ryan knows French.

Syesha - Good.

Jacuzzi - The beginning was boring, but I liked the end.

Ramiele - Meh. I like her voice, but I wasn't crazy about the song.

Chester Cheetah All Grown Up

I love "There's been an incident."

2 Minute Idol Review

We get it. The Beatles are the best. band. ever. Except not.

Syesha: Boring.
Jacuzzi: Good...I guess...I wasn't really watching.
Ramiele: Boring.
Jason: Beautiful (the song and the boy). Loved the smile and point at Paula; loved the "What was that?" after flashing his four fingers during the announcement of his phone number.
Carly: Good.
David C.: I hate what he did to Eleanor Rigby, one of my favorite Beatles songs of all time.
Brooke: Good.
David H.: So "pizza bistro" is what the kids are calling strip clubs nowadays? Cheesy performance.
Amanda: Ok. That song is an anthem for emotionally abusive significant others.
Michael: Ok.
KKKristy: Horrible.
David A: I kinda hate Stevie Wonder. Trainwreck. Way to forget half of the words, bro.

Idol Thoughts

Now that we're down to a manageable 8 contestants, I'm ready to give my thoughts on this week's Idol. This is as close to a live blog as I can do considering I have a desktop computer that faces away from my TV and I don't want to miss any Jason sightings.

Luke: Blech. He's hot, but what a cheeseball. I can't stand his voice. Eeeee!! Jason Castro rocking out on the balcony. Sorry...on to Luke. I'm with Simon; girly, but not in a good way. He pretty much sucks.

David A: He's good, but I'm tired of this kid being treated like the second coming of Christ. He breathes way too loud...I don't know if that's because of his vocal paralysis or whatever, but it bugs. Full disclosure: I love this song. Watch that last note, dude, it's a doozy. WHAT!? Paula loved that a couple notes were off, but when Jason has an "off" note he's a modern-day Hitler!!! Oh, Jesus, now he's calling our attention to homeless people.

Danny: Loved the vocal, despised the arrangement. Simon's in a really bad mood tonight.

On to David Hernandez, the gay stripper (way to be a month late to the party, media; I've known that since the Top 24). Ewwwww, Celine? Seriously?? I guess it was pretty good, but I'm pretty indifferent about this guy. That song is NOT from the 80s. Ok, according to Wikipedia it technically is from the 80s.

Michael: He sounds almost exactly like the Simple Minds guy, whose name is Jim Kerr (thanks again, Wikipedia!). I hate how he moves on stage. WTF is Randy talking about Michael Hutchence for?! INXS is not Simple Minds, Randy. My research (guess which site?) does not indicate that they ever recorded that song.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Sorry, on to David C.: Ummm...is this Lionel Ritchie? Yes, yes it is (Google this time). Interesting... Pretty good though.

Eeeeeeeee!!! My Jason!!!!!!!! There has been some speculation that he smokes weed. I don't know where anyone got that idea...





Anyhizzle, who cares? A 20-year-old college student who smokes weed? Who has ever heard such a preposterous thing!? Here's a tidbit for you: Jason's song for the top 24 was the most downloaded from iTunes out of all the Idols'. That was a very awkwardly-worded sentence, but you know what I mean. Ok, that story about his dread falling out was really nasty. But is it wrong that I want that dread? Maybe I shouldn't have shared that... I thought the performance was beautiful but I was really nervous about what the judges would say, especially since he ran out of breath there at the end. It looks like he'll go to the top 12, but I'm still a little scared, especially since he didn't do a more well-known song. But on the other hand he has a lot of good feedback on message boards, and I doubt they would get rid of him, having the most-downloaded song (oh please, don't tell me you think the votes matter).

Jacuzzi: Zzzzz...

Very Important Announcement

After one season of not giving a rat's ass, I now have a new American Idol boyfriend for season 7: Jason Castro (the dreadlock guy). He's only 20 and I'm not so much into the younger guys, especially the ones who can't legally drink, but I love his goofy awkwardness, his dreads (I LOVE well-groomed dreads), his gorgeous blue eyes, his smile, and his voice.

So, with all that being said, I have to apologize in advance to Jason and his fans for his boot tonight because being my American Idol boyfriend is the kiss of death, as Ace very well knows.

An Open Letter to American Idol Contestants Past, Present, and Future

Dear Contestants,

We've been over this before, but apparently we haven't learned. "Piece of My Heart" is NOT a happy song. Please do not smile while you are singing it.

Sincerely,

Jenny G

The End is Nigh!

The end of the writers' strike, that is. The Office should have 5 to 10 new episodes in April and May. Check here to see what's going on with your other favorite shows.

Check out these public service spots from Canada...unless you're squeamish. And don't say I didn't warn you! This kind of thing would never fly in the States. J., have you seen these on TV?