Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Simpsons Quotes

I've had this post simmering for a while, but considering I had a message at work today from a man named Seymour Butts (hand to God!), I figured now was a great time to post it. This is a list of my 10 favorite Simpsons quotes, in no particular order:

Mr. Burns: "Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes cost me the election, yet if I were to have them killed, I'd be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

Skinner: "Nibbles, chew through my ball sack."

Kang: "Abortions for all."
[Half of crowd boos]
"Very well, no abortions for anyone.
[Other half of crowd boos]
Hmm...Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
[Whole crowd cheers]

Shary Bobbins: "Hello Willie."
Lisa: "You know her?"
Willie: "Aye. Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her."
Shary: "It's good to see you , Willie."
Willie: "That's not what you said the first time you saw me!"

Troy McClure: "Hi! I'm actor Troy McClure and you may remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Some Confidence, Stupid."

Ned: [Walking up, singing] Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the--oh my Lord! Something horrible has happened!
Homer: [Snickers, then laughs] Fooled you Flanders! Made you think your family was dead!

Ned: Oooh...That's quite a thing-a-ma-jigsaw! But it looks like you're missing a piece...
Homer: Looks like you're missing a wife!
Flanders: Heh heh. I walked right into that one.

Homer (singing to the tune of the Flintstones theme song): Simpson/Homer Simpson/He's the greatest guy in history/From the/town of Springfield/He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

Homer, in a video he made in which he describes Lisa: "My favorite book is magazines."

Homer: "Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!"
Homer's Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!"
Homer: "Explain how!"
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services!"
Homer: "Woo-hoo!"

And a bonus:

Homer: "Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Ham?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Pork chops?"
Lisa: "Dad, those all come from the same animal."
Homer: "Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."

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6 Comments:

Blogger March to the Sea said...

always good stuff.

7/09/2008 9:10 AM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Heehee.

Seriously, though, I just laughed out loud reading those...a few are my favorites as well (Nibbles, books/magazines). I'm so not ashamed to tell people that The Simpsons is my favorite show of all time.

7/09/2008 10:15 AM  
Blogger Mr. A said...

That last one is one of my all time favorites!

The abortion one is great too!

7/09/2008 12:22 PM  
Blogger j said...

As you can guess by the title of my blog, I am always a fan of these. In the theatre booth where I live at work there are three pages of Ralph Wiggum quotes on the wall.

I'm trying to remember the full Troy McClure quote from the same episode as that last quote you've included--the one from the pro-meat eating school film.

It included "You may remember me from such educational films as Firecrackers: The Silent Killer"

Oh wait--Look what I found:

http://worldwide-web.com/JeffreyBabad/Simpsons/Troy/index.html

hehe.

7/09/2008 6:21 PM  
Blogger Hotwire said...

"Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others" is classic.

my sister used to have a cat named seymour butts...

7/09/2008 9:11 PM  
Blogger StickyKeys said...

The $20/peanuts is my all time favorite ever. So good!

7/23/2008 5:04 PM  

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