RIP

Darren McGavin, the father in A Christmas Story has died at age 83.

On Privilege

As if we need more proof that the members of our government are corrupt.

I doubt this received much coverage outside of our area, so here's the background. In July of 1999, Tom Druce, one of our state representatives, hit and killed a pedestrian while driving drunk in downtown Harrisburg in a Jeep that was leased at the taxpayers' expense. Claiming that he thought he hit a sign (Don't you hate it when signs jump out and hit the front of your car?), he took the vehicle to a body shop to have it repaired (again at the taxpayers' expense) and lied to his insurance, telling them that the accident took place on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

He is going to be released on parole in two weeks after serving 2 years, his minimum sentence. I don't see how 2 years can possibly be a long enough sentence for driving drunk (I haven't heard whether or not this is his first offense), killing someone, lying about it, and committing insurance fraud. Our justice system needs a major overhaul.

Druce to Be Paroled in March

Idol Thoughts

I know I'm a little late, but what are you gonna do? The top 12 is going to be Mandisa, Kellie, Ayla, Paris, Katharine, Lisa, Taylor, Ace, Chris, Elliot, Bucky or Sway, depending who royally screws up in the next 2 weeks, and one of the jailbait group, hopefully Will. I've found myself being very meh about the girls and liking the guys, which means I'm playing into Idol's machinations, which makes me want to cry. Here are my updated thoughts.

• Robert Bennett, Jr. - Eh. He knew he was going home and had fun with it. More power to him. And hell, I like "Copacabana" better than most of the songs other people sang.
  
• Kevin Covais - Sorry Rusty, but I just can't like this kid.
  
• Bucky Covington - I still loves me some Bucky, but he needs to sing his songs straight and not try to sound rough. If you've got the voice, you can carry Skynyrd without trying to sound like you just smoked a carton of Marlboro Reds and gave head to a cement mixer.
  
• Chris Daughtry - Why are you yelling at me? What did I ever do to you? He's a one-trick pony, and best fits my preferred genre, but he's no Bo.
  
• Patrick Hall - Well, that was ill-advised. My theory on Melissa Ethridge is that her voice is cool and unique, but not necessarily good in a traditional way, and signing a song like that prettily doesn't work.
  
• Taylor Hicks - He got points for singing Elton John.
  
• William Makar - Still love this kid. Seems unpretentious. When I realized how creepy it was for a 16-year-old to be singing "I Want You Back" it made me really realize how creepy it was for a 5-year-old to be singing it.
  
• Gedeon McKinney - This guy talks like he just learned how to speak English and is reading cue cards. I like "Shout" but I don't like this guy. It doesn't matter though, since he'll be gone soon.
  
• "Sway" Penala - Just no.
  
• David Radford - Dave pisses me off, because as I said to Rusty, he reminds me of the guys from my high school who took swing lessons and were smug and thought they were really cool when, in fact, they were not.
• Elliot Yamin - I like him enough, but I won't be sad when he goes.
  
• "Ace" Young - This boy knows exactly how to play the game (see "Father Figure") and he does it well. Arguably one of the best song choices in the history of the show. If I had a dollar for every comment I read about "I'll be your daddy," I wouldn't have to go in to work on Monday, but he's still an innocent, apple-cheeked, boy-bander. Well played, Mr. Young. He's got the Constantine stare down but doesn't make me feel like I need to take a shower with bleach afterwards. Also, I hope his brother is unemployed, because he needs to be in the audience every week.
  
• Paris Bennett - Good singer, seems likeable, will begin to annoy the hell out of me shortly.
  
• Ayla Brown - Don't like her; seems snobby, although she did a good job on Tuesday.
  
• Heather Cox - Of all the songs that you could possibly sing, why in the name of all that is good and holy would you pick "When You Tell Me That You Love Me?" I'm baffled. I was asleep during her performance anyway though.
  
• Brenna Gethers - She doesn't annoy me as much as she should. She's playing the game too, just not as well as Ace.
  
• Mandisa Hundley - I like Mandisa, but I'm not into the soulful ballads that I know she's going to end up singing.
• Melissa McGhee - I slept through her performance too, so I still have no clue about her, but she won't be in the top 12 anyway.
  
• Katharine McPhee - See Paris Bennett.
  
• Becky O'Donahue - I retract my skank comment from earlier. Sure, she was in Maxim, but she seems nice enough. I love "Because the Night" (both versions, although she was singing Patty Smith's*) and don't think she did too poorly. She was smiling during the song in her send-off which I didn't like, but I can forgive her because she was probably trying to hide her disappointment.
  
• Kellie Pickler - HAAATE. I also heard reports that she told the chefs at the hotel that they're lucky to be cooking for her.
  
• Stevie Scott - Too bad you didn't sing it Tuesday night like you did Thursday night, although you still wouldn't be in the top 12.
  
• Kinnik Sky - Slept through her performance.
  
• Lisa Tucker - Slept through her performance, but she's a bot. No 16-year-old is like that.

I like the new layout of being able to see the people in the product-placement room while their peers are performing. Some people really got into each other's performances.

That group sing was...strange... Way to pimp the guys, AI. I hereby call for the return of cheesy medleys in lieu of cheesy group sings.

A bonus for my girls:



*When I was searching Amazon.com to listen to Patty Smith's version of "Because the Night" I came across this atrocity. The McCaughey Septuplets: Sweet Dreams. Not only is that creepy as hell, but it's despicable to capitalize off your children.

My boys

John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson on Ellen. Hilarious dance-off at the end.

Blech

I've been absent because I have a nice little stomach virus. It started Monday evening and is still going strong today. The awesome part is that I had taken vacation days Tuesday and yesterday, so that was an awesome way to spend them!! Since lunch Monday, all I've eaten that I've kept down is 3 bowls of Jell-O and some Ginger Ale, so I'm understandably weak. It's hard for me to sit, much less stand up and walk around. I feel bad calling in sick today because someone will have to work my evening for me, but I don't think it would look good to have me sitting at the front desk with my bucket in hand.

Lame Monday Post

Office fans should check out the video on this website (the link is in the list on the right towards the bottom) for a very funny interview with the cast. It appears to be from before the show aired.

Holy Crap!

That title needs to be read in a Peter Griffin voice.

Some reporter from DC who is writing a piece for the Oscars about people who are intrigued by celebrities e-mailed me and asked to talk to me. It'll probably be something like, "Jenny G is a big loser who has such a boring, meaningless life that she has to spend her time reading about celebrities lives." Should I whore myself out? The answer is clearly yes.

We got our Sunday paper today, for some strange reason. I think our neighbor was hoarding it. Damn Mennonites! Turns out I didn't miss much, but the Car Talk column was funny. If it's wrong to love the Car Talk guys, then I don't want to be right. I actually sat in my car for about 15 minutes one day after I got home from the grocery store listening to them bitch about SUVs. Good stuff.

I just heard that a teacher at the school district where my dad worked for 27 years killed himself in a classroom. Apparently he shot himself last night hoping that the custodians would find him, but instead a substitute teacher and 10 students found him. And Rusty thinks she has some bad days subbing! I don't really understand killing yourself at work. Well, I understand wishing you would spontaneously die at work, since I feel that way every day, but actually bringing a gun? Do it in your car or something.

Good news for Office fans! They have ordered 1 more episode, bringing this season's order to 22 episodes (a full order). Apparently after the Olympics we will have new episodes till the end of March and then reruns till the finale in May. Woot! Then I will go through massive withdraw until the DVD comes out. The season 1 DVD with only 6 episodes just won't cut it. I ordered the British version (series 1 and 2 and the specials) from Amazon, but it hasn't shipped yet.

Make it Stop!

*Updated 2-16

First of all: 5 hours of American Idol next week. Good god.

My thoughts:

• Robert Bennett, Jr. - That's the weird-looking guy who I don't like.
  
• Kevin Covais - Is that the little dorky kid? If so, cute but meh.
  
• Bucky Covington - Hot in a greasy way
  
• Chris Daughtry - I think I'll like him, but not enough to go the concert.
  
• Patrick Hall - Meh
  
• Taylor Hicks - I liked him until he brought a harmonica with him. Seriously, dude.
  
• William Makar - Cute! Not to self: Keep repeating, "He's only 16..."
  
• Gedeon McKinney - Blech. Shut up.
  
• "Sway" Penala - Not my cup of tea, and his mom is like, 5 years older than he is.
  
• David Radford - We don't need another John Stevens.
  
• Elliot Yamin - Pretty good but I don't know if I can get past the snaggletooth.
  
• "Ace" Young - So pretty...
• Paris Bennett - I like her for now, but she'll probably annoy me soon.
  
• Ayla Brown - Who the hell passes up a full scholarship to Boston College for American Idol.
  
• Heather Cox - She beat my fellow TWoP-er based solely on looks.
  
• Brenna Gethers - SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
  
• Mandisa Hundley - Love her!
  
• Melissa McGhee - Still, who?
  
• Katharine McPhee - Annoying.
  
• Becky O'Donahue - Skank.
  
• Kellie Pickler - Carrie Underwood, part 2. I predict she will sing "Piece of My Heart" with a big grin. If so, I will go to California and kick some ass.
  
• Stevie Scott - Might get on my nerves.
  
• Kinnik Sky - I liked her.
  
• Lisa Tucker - She'll get on my nerves.
  

Quick Ones

The Smoking Gun's headline for their story about Dick Cheney is "See Dick? Run!"

February is now more than halfway over. I hate this part of winter.

I was so sad when my little cowboy guy got kicked off American Idol last night! If I had had PMS, I probably would have cried. He needs to run over the Identity Theft twins with a horse. I wouldn't be so amused by their crime if they weren't such jackasses.

I hope no one's Valentine's Day sucked.

Damn Memes

I can't resist these things. I stole this from Caroline.

1. What time did you get up this morning? My alarm went off at 6 and I hit snooze till 6:27.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds; I don't like pearls.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
4. What’s your favorite TV show? The Office, American Idol, Arrested Development, The Simpsons when it was actually funny, Seinfeld, and ER before the helicopters went wild.
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? a Honey Bunches of Oats oatmeal raisin bar, half a glass of diet cherry vanilla Pepsi, and coffee with 1 splenda and hazelnut Coffeemate.
6. What’s your favorite cuisine? Italian, Mexican, and Chinese
7. What foods do you dislike? bacon, sausage, and rice when it is mixed with cheese
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? salt and vinegar
9. What’s your favorite CD at the moment? I don't know.
10. What kind of car do you drive? 2002 Honda Accord, silver
11. Favorite sandwich? Egg and cheese
12. What characteristics do you despise? stupidity, entitlement, and cockiness
13. What is your favorite clothing? shoes and wool sweaters
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? London
15. What color is your bathroom? white (I'm a renter)
16. Favorite brand of clothing? j. crew, but I can't afford it now
17. Where would you retire to? somewhere warm where it doesn't snow
18. Favorite time of the day? when I get home
19. What was your most memorable birthday? I had a surprise party for my 16th (at least I think it was my 16th. Pretty memorable, huh?)
20. Where were you born? York Hospital
21. Favorite sport to watch? hockey
22. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide
23. Were you named after anyone? Not my first name, but my middle name is my grandmother's maiden name
24. Do you wish on stars? no
25. When did you last cry? I don't remember. Not a big cryer. I'm more of an anger person.
26. Do you like your handwriting? No, it's bad.
27. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Heh. Probably not.
28. Are you a daredevil? Hell no
29. Do looks matter? Yeah, a little
30. How do you release anger? Yell and cuss like a sailor
31. Where is your second home? Work, unfortunately. Target too.
32. What were your favorite toys as a child? Barbies, Matchbox Cars, Nintendo (the original, bitches) and my dollhouse
33. What class in High School was totally useless? math, gym, history
34. Favorite Movie(s)? Pulp Fiction, Say Anything, and the ones in my profile that I'm too lazy to list
35. What are your nicknames? Jen, Jenny, the director here calls me Jenzer
36. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope
37. Do you think that you are strong? physically my arms aren't strong but my legs are. Mentally I'd say I'm pretty strong.
38. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? coffee, Oreo, Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and One Sweet Whirrled
39. What are your favorite colors? blue, green, and black
40. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I've gained a lot of weight since high school
41. Who do you miss the most? No one
42. What color pants are you wearing? khaki
43. What are you listening to right now? Virgin Radio (actually, "With or Without You" is on. Hee!)
44. Last thing you ate? a clementine that was nasty
45. If you were a CRAYON what color would you be? Ummm...black
46. Last person you talked to on the phone? some client
47. Favorite Drink? diet cherry vanilla Pepsi and iced tea
48. Do you wear contacts? Eww. I could never put something in my eye
49. Favorite Day of the Year? Any day when it's not cold and I don't have to work
50. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? scary
51. Summer or winter? summer
52. Hugs OR Kisses? hugs
53.What is Your Favorite Dessert? tiramisu
54. What Book(s) are you reading? I'm plodding through The Chimney Sweeper's Boy by Barbara Vine
55. Favorite Smells? flowers, especially lilacs, Bath and Body Works white tea and ginger, apples, gasoline, baking bread, burning leaves, the way it smells after the rain, clean laundry, pine trees, Clinique Happy perfume... I'm really big on smells
56. Rolling Stones or Beatles? We all know how I feel about the Stones...
57. What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? Florida

Weekend Update

The snow is gorgeous, but I'm so sore from all that damn shoveling. I used muscles yesterday that I haven't used in a looong time. I pulled another Angela yesterday. Chris and I went to get dinner and when I went to pull forward to back into my parking spot I got stuck in the snow since they only plowed one strip of our parking area. I told Chris that that was unacceptable. We also didn't get our paper yesterday (the Sunday paper is the best part of Sunday), which was also unacceptable, but I didn't voice that to anyone, so I don't know if that counts. My knitting class was cancelled and I'm really disappointed because I think I'm ready to make a scarf, but I don't know how to cast off.

From the "more excited than I should be" files, The Office got its own subforum on TWoP. Speaking of television, Arrested Development is over, at least for now, which totally sucks. They did have an excellent final 4 episodes on Friday though. That was such a well-written and well-acted show. Chris and I spend the better half of yesterday watching old AD episodes.

The UK Office is on its way to my house as I type, as are some cool CDs.

On Saturday I went to the bank, cleaned the house, did lots of laundry, and watched the rest of season 2 of ER. I can't remember doing anything other than that, which is weird because there's no way that stuff took up my whole day. My life is pretty wild, isn't it?

I'm So Excited...

...and I just can't hide it. I got my tax return today which totally negates the fact that I got about 5 seconds of sleep the past 2 nights and that I was doubled over in pain this morning from cramps.

At first I was pissed at The Office last night since the spoilers said that Jim gave Pam a present, but now I see where they're going with this. I like that they were tricky. Some great moments:

Sbarro (I've eaten at a Sbarro in NYC, but I do realize that it's not the best pizza there)
A Michael Scott Joint
Great Scott Productions
"With or Without You"
The Dwight Schrute bobblehead (I would totally buy one)
Jan falling for Michael yet again
Ryan's, "I hooked up with her on February 13th" with the hair pull.
Conan

And when I get home, not only do I get to watch The Office again, but also Leno with John Krasinski from last night!

I realized when Dwight made the comment about not thinking that Angela cared about Valentine's Day that I'm sort of like her, although I like to think I'm not as bad. I think Valentine's Day is stupid and pointless and made up by Hallmark. Plus I caught myself telling my supervisor that something was unacceptable. Ahhhhh!! I hate cats though, so at least we're not alike in that regard.

The Idiot Report Part II

Britney Spears photographed driving with her four-month-old son IN HER LAP. Apparently she was trying to protect him after a "horrifying, frightening encounter" with the paparazzi. Not to be insensitive, but I think it would be more horrifying and frightening to fly through the windshield.

On Oprah

I've often tried to explain to people why I can't stand Oprah Winfrey, but I'm not able to do it in an eloquent, intelligent manner. This person said what I've wanted to say, but was unable.

"Winfrey’s entire life is an exercise in self-aggrandizement, from the TV show which tells us what to read and how to live to her eponymous magazine, every issue of which features her smug countenance on its cover. More than just another insufferable Hollywood egotist, Oprah is something more akin to a housewife messiah, providing false hope and faux spirituality for experience-deprived worshippers. Everything she does is strategically designed to draw more praise, more devotees, and of course more money. Recently had celebrated poet Maya Angelou on her program to promote her new poem, which Oprah read for the audience as if she wrote it herself, as she seems to actually believe.

Exhibit A: Dr. Phil.

Sentence: Crushed by self-commissioned 40-story platinum Oprah statue."

Idol Thoughts

*Chandler Bing voice* Could the auditions be any more boring? *CBV* The "Hollywood" rounds start tonight, thank god. I like "Hollywood" because the horrible people are weeded out, people crack under pressure (I'm evil), and we get a glimpse into people's personalities. I'm not making any definite picks now because we've only seen like, 3 people out of 100-some who got through. We didn't see Bo till Hollywood last year. So far I like the Jay Leno-looking dude, Paris with the Grammy-winning grandmother, Chris with the bad facial hair, that Kellie girl whose dad is in jail, and that little cowboy dude. The people I want to punch in the face are Ace, the girl who got a full scholarship to Boston College whose dad is a (state) senator and whose mom is a "TV personality," and the hot twin girl who got through last night. I didn't hate the twin last night, but this morning someone posted this from Maxim. This link isn't 100% work-safe as the girls are hanging all over each other in various states of undress. Creepy! I don't have siblings, but if I did, I can't imagine I'd want to be hugging them while wearing an open baseball jersey, a thong, and nothing else. But what do I know? Also, they were on Fear Factor, so they are double fame whores. I actually want the Gwar guy to win, just to make things interesting, but alas, he didn't make it to the next round.

I'm No Martha Stewart

Yesterday I went to a knitting class with some old coworkers. In 2 hours I got about 2 square inches done. So much for giving everyone hand-knitted tea cozies for Christmas this year! I had all these dreams of making sweaters, socks, blankets... So far what I have been able to do is an 8-inch by 3-inch piece of something with dropped stitches all over the place. Chris said that I finally took the last step towards becoming an old biddy. Someday I will raise my own sheep on corn that I grow myself (is that what sheep eat?) and then shear them, spin their wool into yarn, and make sweaters.

I'm so glad the Super Bowl is over. I was getting tired of people looking at me like I had 3 heads when I told them there was no way I could possibly care less about football.

On Saturday morning I was flipping through the channels and I came upon the Bratz cartoon. In the cartoon they were trying to hypnotize guys to fall in love with them and spend money on them. Say what you will about Barbie, but at least she got her own damn job and didn't have to have Ken take care of her.

Office fans enjoy Thursday's episode since it will be preempted by the Olympics.

I am SO geeked about getting my tax return; I'm getting almost a grand back. It should be coming on Friday. I'm saving half of it, and I almost have the rest of it spent in my mind. I'm getting couple CDs, the British version of The Office, some underwear (I know this is TMI, but I haven't bought new underwear in ages), possibly some shoes, and a bunch of stuff that's boring to other people, but not to me. My dad doesn't understand why I have so much withheld from my paychecks; I don't see how you cannot understand wanting to get a grand in the middle of February.

Random

Last night I watched Four Rooms -- not recommended.

The other day I was reading People, Places, and Things That Tend to Annoy Me, and he mentioned Beth Hart, saying that she is better than Janis. Now, for me--someone who could have murdered Carrie Underwood when she murdered "Piece of My Heart,"--this is a big statement. I was sent a clip and have been listening to some of her songs online, and while I haven't heard enough to make such a huge statement, I am leaning towards that. She has the whiskey and cigarettes thing down, but her voice isn't as cacophonous as Janis's. I have already listened to "Bottle Of Jesus" on her official site about 5 times.

I was looking at Sticky Keys' LJ and found this article about Jodie Sweetin from Full House having a meth addiction. I have no problem believing that, but I do have problems believing that her police officer husband had no idea. Seriously, how good of a police officer could he be? This is meth we're talking about; not weed. Also according to the article, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were a part of her intervention. The joke writes itself.

Pandora

I was found the coolest thing in the world! It's Pandora.com, and you enter a band you like and they play songs by artists that are similar. Like a radio, but better. You can get a technical explanation of why they are playing a certain song. For example, when I picked Depeche Mode, they played Tainted Love by Soft Cell, and the reason they give is that "it features synth rock arranging, a subtle use of vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, a vocal-centric aesthetic and synthetic sonority." Launch and Netscape radio don't give you nearly as cool an explanation as that. And as I'm typing this they just started playing "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" by Dead or Alive, so I am now in love with them.

The Idiot Report

Readers are filing a class action lawsuit against James Frey. They claim "the book was a waste of time and they should be reimbursed for the cost of the tome and the hours they spent reading it...In another suit, a New York social worker complained she had recommended the book to people with substance abuse and legal problems."

Cry me a fucking river.

Paula Abdul is enlisting Dr. Phil's help in finding a man. Dr. Phil, of all people.

*Update 12:53 P.M. - Elephant Tramples Teen to Death at Zoo.