I Haven't Adandoned You

I've been completely busy at work lately and I'm having trouble keeping up with all my blog buddies' new posts let alone writing one of my own. I have a couple random things to write about; nothing earth-shattering. Not that my blog is usually the place to come for thoughtful musings on the state of the world today.

Bloglines has been helping me to keep up with all of your posts. I love it! Instead of going to every blog several times a day, hoping expectantly for a new post, bloglines tells me when the site is updated. It's not saving me time since I have a million other sites on there, but it does save me some mouse clicks.

I watched Alton Brown's new show, Feasting on Asphalt, on Saturday. I adore Alton but I was pretty meh on the show. I'm getting a little tired of Food Network's road trip theme this summer. Food Network, I'm aware that good, cheap food exists. It's what we peons eat. I think I'll stick to Good Eats. At least the Good Eats behind-the-scenes show that came on before FoA was good.

Pop Culture Junk Mail posted a link to a website that had stupid comics. My favorites are this one, about a fat woman whose boss forces her to lose weight and they fall in love with each other when she does; this one, which is actually a collection of panels, most of which had me literally laughing out loud at my desk; and this one about a *gasp* lesbian who overcomes her lesbianism by falling in love with a boy. My favorite part of the lesbian one is this panel: "And there was the time I cut in for a lay-up and ran into Fred Reese. I was mortified." The commentator says this: "Why this guy was walking across the gymnasium in the middle of a game is anybody's guess, but I suppose if you've got a "thing" for girl jocks that's the way to meet them."

That's all for now! I hope everyone's doing well!

Yay for J.!

B.'s husband J., the biology major, identified my nasty bug as a Dobsonfly. According to this site, the male's mandibles can't hurt you, but the females can. So those nasty-looking pincers won't kill me. I think.

They're attracted to bright lights at night and it just so happens that I turned our dusk-to-dawn light, which is above that window, on last night. That will be turned off right away!

EWWWWWWWW!

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

This morning I sat down for my first cigarette of the day and my nectar of the gods, caffeine, when I casually glanced over towards the window and saw this:


AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm deathly terrified of a lot of bugs, but this? Is the largest bug I have seen (alive) in my 25+ years on this earth. After flipping out I ran upstairs to grab Chris's camera because I knew no one would believe how big this thing was if I told them. This is a bad picture, but here it is next to a lighter.


I wanted to get a better picture, so I slowly pulled the blinds up as if the thing were going to crash throw the window and kill me (it's big enough to do so). I'm such a wuss that I was having heart palpatations while I took these pictures.


I'm not leaving the house for 10 years.

Does anyone know what this is? It sort of looks like a moth to me, but I'm NOT going outside to take a picture from the front. If I go outside and one lands on me and I have a heart attack and die, I want to have the correct thing written on my death certificate: Death by ___-induced heart attack. Look at those antennae! They're fatter than Mary-Kate Olsen's legs! I'll pay one of you $1,000 plus gas expenses to come kill this thing.

*Udate: It moved to the side a little bit!! Those things that I called antennae are actually pincers (I just now noticed that its antennae come out from the side, not the front), and it has ass pincers too! Someone please reassure me and tell me it won't hurt me.

Nintendogs

I finally have my Beau! I got Nintendogs for Nintendo DS the other day. You pick a dog (6 to start with and 12 other unlockable ones), feed it, play with it, pet it, teach it tricks, take it for walks, and enter it in contests. It's so cute and much easier than a real dog.

Infamy

South-central PA can't catch a break when it comes to controversy. Floyd Landis, the winner of the Tour de France, is from our sister to the east, Lancaster. Now it's being reported that he tested for elevated levels of testosterone.

Jeopardy

Has anyone read the tongue-in-cheek blog post Ken Jennings wrote about Jeopardy? Hilarious. Rusty especially will love it.

My favorite part is his suggestions for how to tweak the host role:

1. On Price Is Right, Bob Barker ends every show with a plug for his personal favorite cause. “Spay or neuter your pet!” or whatever. Something like this would humanize Trebek. I propose a new sign-off, along the lines of, “Can our returning champion do it again on tomorrow’s show? Tune in and find out, everybody. Legalize cannabis. Good night.”
2. You know how Trebek likes to read foreign words in these thick, strained accents, thinking he’s being muy auténtico? He should continue to do this, but instead of delivering them himself, he needs to have a little ventriloquist’s dummy with a sombrero to pipe in with those words. (The sombrero can be switched with a beret for French words.)

The media has picked this story up saying Jennings had unkind words for the show, accusing him of biting the hand that fed him and taking his comments out of context. Surprise, surpise.

WTF Moments

Quentin Tarantino is making Kill Bill Vols. 0 and 3--yay!!
They're going to be animated--boo!!

The main story on the front page of our morning paper today: "Lights go out on MySpace." All the stuff going on in the world and this is the top story? MySpace does not deserve to be above the fold.

Also in the paper:

Yalanda T. Murray's angry response over an unbought ice cream cone has sent her
to state prison for 7 to 19 years.

Murray, 23, the mother of five, was convicted of aggravated assault, simple
assault, burglary, criminal trespass, terroristic threats and criminal
mischief...Murray was arrested July 18, 2005, four days after she attacked
Cheryl McClane, the girlfriend of her daughter's father, with a butcher
knife.

Murray's daughter asked her father to buy her an ice cream cone.
The man said he did not have any money and the girl went to complain to her
mother...York City Police reported that Murray grabbed McClane by the armed
[sic] and slashed at her with the knife before the man pulled McClane
inside their home...Before leaving the scene, Murray punched through the
front window of the home, cutting herself on the broken glass. Patrol
officers found her with a bloody towel wrapped around her arm.

That's a reasonable reaction.

My Hatred of Rihanna

I despise Rihanna. I first heard of her when I heard the opening notes of "Tainted Love," only to be appalled at her bastardization of one of my favorite songs of all time. It's called "S.O.S." and I can't hit my radio buttons fast enough when it comes on. Here is the intro:

"Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh
You know I never felt like this before
Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh
Feels like something real"

Lyrical genius!

I know that all these little teenyboppers have never even heard "Tainted Love " and it makes me sad that they will never know the awesomeness that is Soft Cell.


I later learned that she was the "mastermind" behind one of my least favorite songs of last year: "Pon De Replay." There are like, 5 words in that song, and they're all annoying as hell. My hatred grew.

When I turned on my radio a few months ago I was greeted to the sound of dying animals. It was actually Rihanna caterwauling her new song "Unfaithful." Her voice is hideous! In these days of protooling singers to death, there is no excuse to sound that cacophonous. It's nasal and off-key. If I can sing better than you, you should feel ashamed of yourself. The melody is non-existent. The worst part is the lyrics:

"Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company"

Huh? That sounds like something a seventh grader would write in pink pen in a journal covered with fake fur.

"He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true"

No, I'm pretty sure that the sky is blue because the atmosphere scatters blue light, and clouds are formed by water molecules.

"And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying"

This guy needs to grow a pair and she needs to stop being a hobag.

"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer"

Overly dramatic much?

"I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair"

Wow, just wow.

"Preparing for another day
A kiss upon my cheek
He's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late"
What? I could see him being there angrily or sadly because of being out late, but reluctantly? That's such a clumsy line.

"I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well"

Again: grow a pair!

"Our Love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)"

Sigh...

"No no no no
Yeah yeah yeah"

Ok...

I guess I deserve this for listening to Top 40 occasionally; I'll hand in my cool music lover card.

Random

I didn't do too much over the weekend. Bike ride with my dad on Saturday, laundry, made some food to freeze for work lunches, played a lot of Roller Coaster Tycoon 2, washed my car... I watched Sleepers. It was really good, but in a horrible sort of way, if that makes any sense. It's one of those movies where you're not totally sure with whom to sympathize. I like movies with a moral dilemma. Plus, on the shallow side, you can't go wrong with Billy Crudup, Ron Eldard, and Brad Pitt.

Ashlee Simpson is selling her house, and one of its best features, according to her, is the big closet which, at 1,300 square feet, is almost twice as big as our old apartment.

I have a big responsibility over the next couple of weeks, guys. I'm hamster-sitting for Rusty while she's gallivanting around the UK. I'm not the best at raising pets, but I think I can keep Smoke alive till Rusty returns.

Blogging the Bible

David Plotz has now started on Leviticus, the chapter of the Bible that contains the verse that makes conservatives cream their pants. Leviticus 18:22: "Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman; it is an abhorrence." The people who take the Bible literally love this verse and love to quote it in their missives against the "evils" of homosexuality. But one has to wonder why these people pick and choose which parts of the Bible to take literally. If we're going to be against gays because the Bible is against gays, then maybe we need to take the other parts of the Bible literally as well. Skip church one Sunday? Death. Disrespect your parents? Also death. Have sex with a woman on her period? According to the Bible, you can't even sit on a chair where a menstruating woman has been sitting. Better take a long a folding chair (you also better sleep on the couch because her bed sheets are impure too). I hope you take a shower and do a load of laundry after sex too.

On the other hand, if we don't want to wiggle out of every rule the Bible puts forth since there are some keepers. Obviously the 10 Commandments are the biggies, but Leviticus 19 also has some rules regarding civil rights, fair business practices, loving your neighbor, being just, etc. How is it that some rules are decided to be archaic and swept under the rug while others become catch phrases of narrow-minded people? Who has the right to make these decisions and how do we know who is wrong and who is right? Obviously murder will always be illegal (we won't get into an abortion debate), but allowing homosexuals to marry isn't too far down the road. The courts protect them from hate crimes yet forbid them to marry. Women received their civil rights, as did African Americans. I find it repulsive that we deny a group of people their civil rights. Conservative Christians fear that we're straying too far from the Bible, but maybe that's not such a bad thing.

A.J. Jacobs, a writer from Esquire, is working on a book called The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest To Obey the Bible as Literally as Possible. That seems like it would be an interesting read.

The ABCs of Me

I got this from Gina. Actually, from her MySpace, but whatever. This is filler; a real entry is forthcoming.

A is for age:
25

B is for booze of choice:
Margaritas or Midori sours

C is for career:
I wouldn't call this a career.

D is for your dog's name:
I've never had a dog :(. I'm going to have 2 Beags though; one will be named Beau and I don't know about the other one yet.

E is for essential item you use everyday:
My computer

F is for favorite song at the moment:
"Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel. Chris will probably kill me if I play it one more time.

G is for favorite game:
Scattergories

H is for hometown:
York

I is for instruments you play:
None now, but I used to play piano and I took guitar lessons for 3 months. I'd love to play the violin.

J is for favorite juice:
orange pineapple

K is for kids?:
I think children, in general, are loud, dirty, annoying, and expensive.

L is for last hug:
From Chris

M is for marriage:
No hurry here.

N is for name of your last ex:
Let's not discuss that.

O is for overnight hospital stays:
None

P is for phobias:
Bugs and spiders

Q is for quote:
"But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass." --William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

R is for biggest regret:
I don't regret anything. That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

S is for status:
Single but attached

T is for time you wake up:
6:30 A.M.

U is for underwear:
Black

V is for vegetable you love:
broccoli, zucchini, beets, asparagus, onions, spinach, cooked carrots, corn on the cob

W is for worst habit:
Smoking-I'm working on it!

X is for x-rays you've had:
Teeth

Y is for yummy food you make:
roasted broccoli, mashed potatoes, taco dip, black bean dip

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus

Patient (NO) and reliable
Warm-hearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security-loving
Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greedy

From Astrology Online

Lots O' Beer

This is what I would call a drinking problem.

Update

There is a new recipe posted on Fattening Lard Bake.

Vacation Log, Part 3

On Friday Chris and I went to Hersheypark (warning, annoying music). It was extremely hot, but we had fun. Amusement parks are always prime people-watching locations. You have the ubiquitous fat women in bikinis, the girls who insist on wearing mini skirts and stilettos, and 7-year-olds wearing shirts that say "Heartbreaker" and "Kiss These." I saw a girl in a cardigan sweater (!!) and a guy in work boots and black jeans. There was also a couple practically having sex in line. Nothing horns me up like standing in a line in 90+ degree weather with hundreds of sweaty people.

Last night was the annual neighborhood crab feast that my parents' next door neighbors have. It doesn't get any better than hard shells and beer, especially when they're free. I also discovered that I really like Riesling. A lot. Possibly too much...

I'm not ready to go back to work tomorrow. I'm still on a 12-9 sleeping schedule which doesn't mesh well with having to leave at 7:30 for work. I don't even want to think about how much shit I'll have to do tomorrow.

And now for some randomness:

I read in the paper today that the woman who created Kwanzaa is from York.

Bobby Flay is hot. I must have a thing for men who cook: Alton Brown, Gordon Ramsay, Bobby...

Have you all seen that Hummer commercial where two women are at the playground with their children and woman #2's child butts in front of woman #1's child so woman #1 goes out and buys a Hummer to make herself feel more self-assured and powerful? That boils my blood. What they see as a selling point I see as a reason (among many) not to buy a Hummer.

Chris finally got around to building my new computer and as soon as he finds his spare DVD drive I'm going to be playing Sims 2 obsessively. If I don't blog for a while it's because I'm giving my Sims a life that I'll never have.

It's hot as Hades here. I'm ready for fall!

Does anyone have any idea what it means when the top of your thigh is numb? Not tingly, just numb.

How to Poop, Japanese Style

Review of The Last Temptation of Christ

I probably should have written this sooner since it's no longer fresh in my mind, but here goes.

The Last Temptation of Christ, directed by Martin Scorsese, deals with the idea of Jesus being a human and giving in to his human desires. Anytime it is suggested that Jesus gave into human nature, controversy ensues. I personally don't find it preposterous that Jesus felt hate, rage, lust, or any of the other emotions that people feel. That's an unpopular opinion, but no one knows what actually happened. Also controversial for its nudity and graphic gore, this is obviously not family fare.

Overall, I felt the movie was Biblically and historically accurate. I actually learned an interesting fact. I knew that Jesus became angry at the money changers at the temple, but I had to idea they were there because Roman coins were not allowed in the temple due to having Caesar's image. I thought the movie was filmed on location (Jesus Christ, Superstar was); it was actually filmed in Morocco, but the scenery looked just as authentic as JCS's.

The skill of the actors ranged, but Willem Dafoe as Jesus was brilliant. I had heard of him but didn't have an opinion one way or the other. He has a new fan! He had big shoes to fill but I believed every emotion. Even though I love Harvey Keitel, I cringed when he was onscreen. His acting wasn't bad, but Judas with a Brooklyn accent? I can't believe Mr. Scorsese let that fly, as it was a major distraction. Keitel was nominated for a Razzie for his performance in this movie.

I was a little confused at the end, mostly because I was nodding off, but once I had a chance to sit and think about it I really liked it. I love movies that make the viewer ask questions about life, society, religion, anything. Will this replace Jesus Christ, Superstar as my Easter movie? No way, but it was a good movie nonetheless.

Vacation Log, Part 2

Yesterday Rusty and I went back down to Maryland--after I dropped off my car at the mechanic, more on that later--to Wegman's, which is the most awesome grocery store ever. We need to get one of those up here, but we probably won't. Everything was gorgeous: the produce, the flowers, the meat, the seafood... I think it has to do with the fact that they use incandescent light. They also had awesome stuff from different countries.

On to the car thing. I got an oil change at my regular place on Saturday. I noticed whenever I turned my car on there was a rumbling sound that was louder than usual. It wasn't a bad sound, just different. I was on my way to pick Rusty up with my AC on and I started to smell oil. I went over to my parents' house, my dad opened the hood, and there it was: they never put the cap back on. There was oil all over my engine block, hence the smell. They cleaned it up, although they didn't do the best job. Oh well, at least I didn't drive the 60 miles round-trip to work without a cap on.

Today I didn't do anything except two loads of laundry, and tomorrow, as long as the weather holds up, Chris and I are going to Hersheypark. My boss called and I am getting a promotion-type thing. More on that when/if it actually happens. I don't want to jinx anything.

Wish me luck; I'm playing Powerball today!

Vacation Log

On Saturday I got my oil changed and went to Denny's with my dad who is the only person awake at 7:30 AM on Saturday. After that I went home, washed my car, and then went on another bike ride with my dad. This one was only 7 miles and it wasn't 96 degrees out, so I didn't feel like I wanted to die at the end. Saturday afternoon I watched Hellcab, which was excellent. It's a slice-of-life indie about a cab driver and his various fares on Christmas Eve. John Cusack, Julianne Moore, Gillian Anderson, and Laurie Metcalf star, but the real star of the movie is Paul Dillon, who plays the cabbie.

On Sunday I washed all the windows inside and out and then did nothing else all day and it was glorious.

Yesterday my mom and I went to IKEA in Baltimore (I only spent $25!) and then headed over to The Avenues, a mall that is a billion times better than anything we have in York. We hit Barnes and Noble, the Yankee Candle store, and AC Moore. We ate at Don Pablo's since there aren't any chain Mexican restaurants in York now that Chi-Chis is gone. It was a good, but tiring, day; I'm not a shopper.

Today I don't have anything planned either. I'll do a little laundry and maybe cook some stuff to freeze for work lunches.

Coming up: Hersheypark with Chris, which was supposed to be tomorrow, but the weather looks like it'll be nicer on Thursday; Wegman's with Rusty; neighborhood crab feast on Saturday.

Vacation!

My vacation starts in about 2 hours! I'm not going anywhere, so I'll probably be blogging during the week.

Review of Kitchen Confidential

Kitchen Confidential was written by Anthony Bourdain, the executive chef at Brasserie Les Halles in New York.

Let me preface this review by saying that I worked in a hospital from March 1999 until October 2003, which translates into the end of my senior year of high school until 5 months after I graduated from college. Granted, a hospital kitchen’s got nothing on a restaurant kitchen, but there are similarities, and I loved what I call the kitchen culture. Also, when I was in high school I wanted to work as a chef. I decided against this because my desire to work a Monday through Friday, 9-5 job outweighed my desire to have arms covered in burns, cuts, and scars. Both of these things, plus the fact that I enjoyed FOX’s short-lived television show by the same name (based on the book), made me pick this up.

Even though I’ve never worked in a restaurant, I can take the things that happened in the hospital kitchen, multiply them by 100, and get something similar to what Mr. Bourdain wrote about. The sexual debauchery, the vulgarity, the not-always-so-safe practices, the machismo; they were all there to a certain extent.

I generally hate biographies, but Mr. Bourdain has a way with words that made 95% of the book very interesting. He’s not the best writer in the world but he’s frank and uses vivid language, especially when describing the dishes of his and other restaurants. My favorite chapter was the one chronicling his visit to Tokyo to coach the chef of the Les Halles’s sister restaurant. When he described the streets, the people, the food, and the accommodations, I felt like I was right there with him, picturing how silly a white man who was over 6 feet tall looked amongst the Japanese.
I did have a beef with his description of Baltimore, where he apparently had (has?) a restaurant in Inner Harbor. How can you hate Charm City? Let me rephrase that: How can you hate Inner Harbor? There were also some times when he lost me while going on about some of the people he knew; I felt like the third wheel at a dinner party. Fortunately, these instances are few and far between.

If you’re interested in food, cooking, restaurants, or anything of that nature, I would definitely recommend picking this up. It’s a quick, humorous, light read that is perfect for summer.

Fattening Lard Bake

B. is a sly little devil and found Fattening Lard Bake, so I've decided to reveal it to the rest of the blogosphere. It looks like Rusty finished the header, which is awesome, so here it is:

Fattening Lard Bake

Hopefully Rusty will tell the tale of the name at some point (hint, hint).

Emmy Nominations

Congratulations, "Office," "Arrested," Will Arnett, and Steve Carell!

Bites, Paranoid People, and Dogs

I'm incapable of going outside without getting massive bug bites. It looks like the bugs were having a Jenny G buffet during our sparkler extravaganza last night. Sometimes I have very bad reactions to bites, and the current one, on the back of my calf, is the size of a baseball and sticks out about an inch. It's not as bad as the one I got about 8 years ago on my thigh that was larger than a softball. I also have one behind my ear, luckily that didn't swell.

I took a walk in a neighborhood near our house tonight. It was a nice walk; I drove it afterwards and it turned out to be 1.7 miles, and I like it because I don't have to drive there. I'm not too big on the idea of driving somewhere to walk, but unfortunately there aren't too many places to walk near our house. There were three houses in the neighborhood that had "No Trespassing" signs up, and two of the houses had more than one. These weren't inconspicuous signs tucked into a deserted corner of the property, they were in the middle of the yard. Think of what a "For Sale" sign would look like. I couldn't decide which was tackier: the "No Trespassing" signs or the house that had about 30 lawn ornaments.

In addition to not liking interlopers, the people in this neighborhood also don't like to supervise their dogs. I don't really appreciate having a barking dog barreling down on me at top speed as its owner offers a meek, "Get back here." I'm not scared of dogs, but I'm not a huge fan of having them run at me whilst bearing their teeth. Luckily for me, the Great Dane I saw out by itself was too intent upon pooping to come after me. Another neighbor had a white German Shepherd out by itself; I was grateful that it didn't try to attack me. I've had two German Shepherds try to attack me in my life; I think that's enough.

Sometimes I don't even know why I go outside.

Long Weekend With a Bit of an Interruption

Hey, everyone! I'm not dead, I've just been sort of busy. I hope you all had a good 4th. Miraculously I was hangover-free on Sunday morning. I'm sure I sweat all of the alcohol out of my system Saturday night though. It was horribly hot and I get sweaty at even the slightest amount of alcohol, much less a third of a bottle of rum. I didn't fall asleep until 5 A.M., and now I remember why I don't like getting drunk.

I went to my parents' house for a cookout on Sunday. On Monday I had to go to work and it was pretty much a pointless day, but we got out early which is always appreciated. What I didn't appreciate was that it took me 20 minutes to drive 2 blocks trying to get out of the city. After work I went to Cracker Barrel with Rusty and L and had awesome catfish. We went miniature golfing and then back to L's place to watch Hell's Kitchen (March's favorite show) which turned out to be preempted by Mr. Deeds. When I arrived home, Chris was watching Mr. Deeds and I briefly considered leaving him.

Yesterday morning I went on a hellacious bike ride with my dad on the York County Heritage Rail Trail. I haven't ridden a bike in years and every bone and muscle in my body is in pain. I'd say we went around 13 miles. He says less, but I was going by the mile markers which I assume are right. I came home and hopped (well, hobbled) in the shower. I needed to get gas and hit up the ATM, but when I got out of the shower it was thundering pretty loudly. Being the genius that I am, I got dressed and ready quickly and went out to do my errands. As soon as I got in my car it started pouring, but I pressed on. Wouldn't you know that the second I finished and got home it stopped raining. I take that as a lesson that I should be more patient. After that I finished watching The Last Temptation of Christ and took a nap. I made Alton Brown's pan-seared steak recipe for dinner, which I think might be my first entry on the recipe blog because it was awesome. I decided against fireworks because I was so tired and had to open the office today, but Chris and I lit sparklers instead.

Emmy nominees come out tomorrow and I'm going to bust some skulls if The Office crew isn't recognized. It would be nice to see Arrested get some recognition too.

A good portion of my last couple days off were spent playing Cake Mania, a Yahoo game. I don't even want to think about how many hours I wasted, which is a big reason why I haven't blogged.

I finished reading Kitchen Confidential; a review will be up shortly.

Blogging Drunk

is dangerous. Hey bitches! I just drank a pitcher of mojitos by myself! Happy f-in 4th of July! Woot!