Saturday, July 29, 2006

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

This morning I sat down for my first cigarette of the day and my nectar of the gods, caffeine, when I casually glanced over towards the window and saw this:


AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm deathly terrified of a lot of bugs, but this? Is the largest bug I have seen (alive) in my 25+ years on this earth. After flipping out I ran upstairs to grab Chris's camera because I knew no one would believe how big this thing was if I told them. This is a bad picture, but here it is next to a lighter.


I wanted to get a better picture, so I slowly pulled the blinds up as if the thing were going to crash throw the window and kill me (it's big enough to do so). I'm such a wuss that I was having heart palpatations while I took these pictures.


I'm not leaving the house for 10 years.

Does anyone know what this is? It sort of looks like a moth to me, but I'm NOT going outside to take a picture from the front. If I go outside and one lands on me and I have a heart attack and die, I want to have the correct thing written on my death certificate: Death by ___-induced heart attack. Look at those antennae! They're fatter than Mary-Kate Olsen's legs! I'll pay one of you $1,000 plus gas expenses to come kill this thing.

*Udate: It moved to the side a little bit!! Those things that I called antennae are actually pincers (I just now noticed that its antennae come out from the side, not the front), and it has ass pincers too! Someone please reassure me and tell me it won't hurt me.

9 Comments:

Blogger Funky Smith said...

OH my god. Just looking at it gave me the creeps. good luck. Sorry, I don't know what it is.

7/29/2006 11:09 AM  
Blogger J. said...

Scary! I have no idea what it is--this whole gene-splicing thing is getting out of hand. It looks like a combo of an earwig with some sort of predatory bird.

7/29/2006 1:57 PM  
Blogger B. said...

I called J. into the office room and asked him to identify the bug. He casually says, "Oh, it's an Eastern Dobson Fly." He said they are aquatic, but I'm not sure what it's doing on your screen.

7/29/2006 2:48 PM  
Blogger Hotwire said...

that can't be real. are you punk-ing us?!

7/30/2006 6:47 AM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

hotwire: I wish I were! I have no camera-trickery or Photoshop skills; this thing is 100% real. Check out Dobsonfly on the what's that bug website. Everyone pretty much has the same reaction that I did, except some insane people actually collected the bug to take its picture instead of hovering, cowardlike, on the opposite side of a window.

7/30/2006 8:56 AM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

Holy mother of God. That woulda scared the sh*t outta me.

7/31/2006 5:24 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

Holy crap, that sucker is big! Yow. I'd be scared too. We have helgramites in the creek so I bet some of these things live around us also, but I haven't seen them yet. Cool pics! Thanks for the great info. :-)

8/02/2006 6:53 AM  
Blogger goatman said...

Its obviously a space creature from Mars sent to creep you out (or crepe you out, if you happen to be flat!)
I just hope whatever eats these things doesn't show up!
Peace

8/04/2006 5:21 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

That's some good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.

9/05/2006 2:23 PM  

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