Insert Witty Title Here

Mmmm...beer-battered, deep-fried bacon double Quarter Pounder...*drool* Well, except for the bacon. Bacon is nasty. Which reminds me of one of my favorite Simpsons exchanges:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. A wonderful ... magical animal.

from Accidental Hedonist

Did you hear about the woman who hanged her 4 children and herself? Only her 8-month-old survived. I can't even imagine what must have been going through her head.

Weekend Update and Other Stuff

Chris and I were cat-sitting for his dad from Friday the 18th till this past Saturday. His dad actually has 4 cats, but this one is a senile old geezer and has to take pills twice a day so we had him at our house. He constantly (including all throughout the night) makes this loud noise that sounds like a child yelling "ouch!" I've never wanted to hurt an animal before this one. The only thing that kept me from punting him across the room was the fact that he was old and feeble and I felt bad for him. To add insult to injury, the damn cat sneezed in my face one of the times I picked him up to give him some lovin' in the hopes that he would shut the fuck up. He also spilled some of his food on the floor which caused about 100 ants to come rushing into our kitchen. I know he can't help that, but he's the cause of it. Chris gets up late, so I took the cat home early Saturday morning and it was one of the happiest days of my life. I was so conditioned by him that when I came home from dropping him off, I cringed as I opened the door because he usually started making that horrendous noise the second you walked inside. I definitely enjoyed the silence.

This is me, several years ago, trying to bludgeon him to death because of his annoying noises. We used to call him Red Rum; he sounded just like the kid in The Shining. Now his noise is even more annoying, which I didn't think was possible.



After I took him home I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up the Lexapro script that I had dropped off on Wednesday. I was informed that my insurance is refusing to pay for it and that the pharmacy had called my doctor's office. So why the fuck didn't anyone call me? I've been taking samples for a month, and my next doctor's appointment isn't until next Thursday. I'll run out of meds tomorrow. Nice. Hopefully I won't go through any withdraw. I wanted to take something different anyway. Lexapro just made me not give a shit about anything, which is better than being depressed all the time, but not as good as being happy.

After my pharmacy fiasco I came home and cleaned the house and then sat around sweating because it was about 88 and I'm too cheap to turn the AC on. That night I watched An Inconvenient Truth and felt bitter about the fact that Al Gore "lost" the election and the fact that people like my grandma weren't happy with Bush's first term but voted for him a second time because she felt he should be there to finish what he started.

On Sunday morning I went over to my parents' house and my dad and I washed and waxed my car, which was the atmosphere's signal to rain Sunday evening. I had my dad over in the evening for a cook-out because my mom is in Cincinnati visiting her sister.

Yesterday I went to Target to get the rest of L.'s birthday present and my dad's Father's Day golf balls. He gets golf balls for every occasion from me because I have no idea what else to get him. After that I came home and didn't do jack shit besides make dinner for the rest of the day, and it was awesome.

I've been trying to call the Giant Center box office to get tickets to see the Bears play game 2 of the Calder Cup finals this Saturday night, but I can't get through. I guess everyone else has the same idea. Hopefully this won't make a difference in how they play.

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day! Please remember all the people who have given their lives to serve our country.

Simpsons

This is a video of a bunch of Simpsons couch gags. One of my favorite is the second one: the family playing musical chairs and Homer losing. I love his dejected look.

One Step Closer

Yay! The Bears won last night! B-E-A-R-S Bears, Bears, Bears, Woo!!!!!!!



Here are The Bears winning last year:

One Year Closer to Death

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way"

Well, today is the big 2-6. I'm officially in my late 20s. How depressing is that?! I'm going over to my parents' house for dinner and an Oreo cake from Maggie Moo's tonight. I took Monday off to go to IKEA. Birthdays just aren't the same once you're over 21. Remember that, kiddos.

"Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"

*Office spoiler* The Office season finale was pretty good Thursday night. I loved the ending. It would have been cheesy if they had done another kiss, but Jim's silent realization and drive home to ask Pam out were nice. I wonder what Karen is going to think when she realizes Jim left her in New York? I thought she'd get the job since Rashida Jones is going to be in a sitcom next season. I guess we'll find out in four months. In other Office news, Jenna Fischer broke her back while she was walking down a marble staircase in high heels. The article I read said she's expected to make a full recovery and it won't affect next season's Office. Here's hoping that she has a speedy recovery!

"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death"

Congratulations to my Bears for winning the East Division Final. Game 1 of the Eastern Conference final against the Manchester Monarchs is tonight. Good luck, guys!

"Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say"

I heard on the radio station that the receptionist at work listens to that R. Kelly compared himself to Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that MLKJ never pissed on a 14-year-old. What a tool.

I just finished reading Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres. It was an amazing book! Actually, and I probably shouldn't be saying this, I read about 200+ pages at work on Wednesday because it was an extremely slow day. It's a memoir about Julia's life growing in a white family living in the Midwest with two adopted black children and her close friendship with one of her adopted brothers. Her parents, devout Christians, send them to a reform school in the Dominican Republic, which isn't any better than their life of emotional and verbal abuse at home. I highly recommend the book.

B-E-A-R-S Bears, Bears, Bears!!!

The Hershey Bears are 3 and 0 in the East Division Final with game 4 tomorrow night. They wone game 2 4-3 in double overtime--sweet! Good luck, Bears! Let's make it two in a row!

Good luck tonight also to March's Bruins. They're 1 and 1 in the Atlantic Division Final.