Thursday, April 20, 2006

Ode to Ace

Oh, Ace, you beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. I called you as the winner before the season even started. You coulda been a contendah! Here's what happened: Your audition was pretty meh actually, but I think that's only because I don't like boyband music. During the Hollywood rounds you looked hot and made the girls scream which put Simon on high alert (although listening back, you screwed up your words and I think you sounded like ass--sorry!).

Then you did "Father Figure" and my world stood still for a minute thirty. After that performance I said you were excellent at playing the game and that you had the best song choice of all time. Your voice was strong (for you), you looked great, sang well, and didn't do any of that damned falsetto (except for the little "hmmm" thing that made girls everywhere melt). You were teh sex! The nose crinkle! The naked! The I'll be your daddy! The stomach shirt grabbing! That video is my most watched after JPL's "A Little Less Conversation," and that has 2 years on you (Yes, I have an extensive collection of AI downloads, shut up.) Randy said, "You can actually sing! Oh my god!" Simon told him he had the X factor and that he would sail through. So what happened? Every single performance after "FF," that's what!

"If You're Not the One" was horrendous! "Butterflies" actually wasn't that bad, but at this point you were already losing steam. "Do I Do" was your first time on the big stage, and I know you were probably nervous as hell, but you blew it! "In the Still of the Night" was actually pretty good and we got to see a little more of your "strong" voice there. "Drops of Jupiter" was a hot mess, "I Wanna Cry" was decent, "We Will Rock You" and the poorly-fitting leather pants were ill-advised, and "That's All" was mediocre. I guess you were just lucky with the "FF" song choice, but you made me look like an ass as I held out week after week for another "FF"-like performance. I'm used to rooting for the underdog who everyone makes fun of though. My advice to you: soap operas. And don't sing anymore.

Oh well. You can still be my preacher teacher. I have a couple things in mind.


Blogger Rusty said...

Ooooo! He's wearing the "on the seventh day, God rocked out" t-shirt in the 4th picture. Hee!

He really is a beautiful man.

4/20/2006 9:11 AM  
Blogger Rusty said...

I actually posted a comment before the one above where I said that poor Chris must feel inadequate now, since Ace came into your life, but it got lost in the blogosphere. Perhaps it was better that way?

4/20/2006 12:18 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

He's also wearing the cross made out of fleur de lis shirt :). Chris doesn't need to feel inadequate. Besides, he always has Gillian Anderson.

4/20/2006 2:00 PM  
Blogger noelle feather said...

He is kind of cute--but man, I sure like me some SHORT hair! :)

4/20/2006 2:10 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

That's because you're Mormon :). I actually don't find him attractive at all in his old pictures with short hair. He's like Samson.

4/20/2006 6:16 PM  
Blogger noelle feather said...

You know, I thought I had heard that he was LDS--but wait, weren't you and your friends saying you thought he was hot? (I feel so funny saying that word....*hot*). tee hee...

4/20/2006 6:31 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Gaaaaah! Fleur de lis! Oh, how I HATE fleur de lis!!!

4/20/2006 6:36 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Feather: I think people thought he was LDS because his last name is Young and he has 4 brothers. His parents said he's not though. Actually, my favorite contestant of all time, Jon Peter Lewis, is LDS. He went to BYU and has 6 siblings. Ace is hot now, but I don't think he was hot with short hair.

Rusty - Really? I had no idea! :)

4/20/2006 10:06 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

My mom just told me to tell you she enjoyed your "Ace-o-Rama". She also squealed with delight at seeing his picture. She says to tell you she's drooling. :)

4/20/2006 10:12 PM  
Blogger noelle feather said...

JPL--HUM, now if someone who is LDS is on, MAYBE I'll succumb and watch it. (JUST KIDDING. I said MAYBE). How long ago was he on?

4/20/2006 10:58 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Rusty - I love the way your mom acts when Ace is on; she's worse than us! She has good taste though :). I wonder if Ace ever vacuumed his head?

Feather - He was on 2 years ago. There was also a LDS girl on 3 years ago, but she was pretty bad. Here's JPL's site, his album is supposed to be out soon:

4/21/2006 7:50 AM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

Yummy man.

4/21/2006 9:44 AM  
Blogger Road to the Isles said...

I bet on Ace at work pool and now I'm out. But I love the photos!

4/21/2006 2:05 PM  
Blogger katiedid said...

Wow, he sure likes his blush! So have we idenified the brand and color yet? My money's on NARS "Crazed". Clearly the makeup artist uses a lighter hand every so often, however.

Alas, I am only going by the pictures you posted. I haven't had time or strong inclination at all to actually watch AI this season, sigh.

4/21/2006 11:34 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

DG: Most definitaly

Isles: He definitely looked like he had a shot back in the beginning.

Katie: Awww, don't bust on his rosy cheeks :). They're actually naturally like that; I've seen old pre-AI pics. I think this season as a whole is pretty boring, but I'm addicted anyway.

4/22/2006 8:23 AM  
Blogger J. said...

Waitin' for your comments, Jen.


4/22/2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

HAHA! I saw that in People magazine. Apparently the guy was a foot taller than him and weighed 100 lbs more. What a dumbass!

4/23/2006 8:54 PM  

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