Dear People Who Drive on I-83 During Rush Hour

If you're in the left lane and cars are passing you, GET OVER!! The left lane is for people like me who leave 20 minutes late for work. I hope you never drive on the autobahn.

If there is a car in front of me, riding my ass will not make it go any faster.

If there are 2 inches of space between me and the car ahead of me, and no one behind me for 50 miles, don't squeeze in front of me.

If you're not going to drive at least 80, get the hell out of the left lane.

If you know you need to be in the right lane at the split, get in the right lane back when traffic is flowing nicely instead of waiting till the last second and forcing someone to let you in. Traffic is backed up for miles because of tools like you.

If you don't know where you're going in the city, don't drive in it at 8 AM.

If you don't know how to parallel park, don't try to do it on the busiest street at 4:30.