I Also Watch Too Much Food Network

This is funny.

I found this website, and I couldn't disagree with this guy more. I thought I'd do my own version.

I rated the following Food Network chefs (cheves?): Paula Deen, Ina Garten, Rachael Ray, Sandra Lee, Alton Brown, Emeril Lagasse.

They were rated on the following criteria:
Likeability--Would I want to hang out with them or punch them in the face?
Knowledge--If they give me a tip about something, do I trust it?
Realism--Would I, as an average cook, be able make their food, based on skill and finances. Keep in mind, realism score has nothing to do with whether or not I would want to make their food.
Appeal--This is the criterion of whether or not I would want to make their food.
Then I curved so that Alton Brown was 100% and adjusted everyone's grade accordingly.

Paula Deen: A-
Likeability: 7 (She has a tendency to be a tad annoying.)
Knowledge: 8
Realism: 6.5
Appeal: 8 (I deducted a point from realism instead of appeal because while fried chicken cooked in lard and cake with 3 sticks of butter would be deliciously awesome, I would not realistically give myself a coronary by making that meal.)

Ina Garten: B-
Likeability: 5 (She's just sort of there.)
Knowledge: 8
Realism: 4
Appeal: 8

Rachael Ray: B
Likeability: pre-engagement 6; post-engagement 3, average 4.5
Knowledge: 7
Realism: 7
Appeal: 8

Sandra Lee: F
Likeability: 1
Knowledge: -1
Realism: 10
Appeal: -10 (Beef tenderloin rolled in instant coffee granules? A cake with corn nuts on top? I'll pass.)

Alton Brown: A+
Likeability: 10
Knowledge: 10
Realism: 5
Appeal: 7

Emeril Lagasse: C
Likeability: 2
Knowledge: 10
Realism: 2
Appeal: 9