Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Music of the 21st Century

Wow, last night was a hot mess. I didn't recognize about half of those songs. Color me underwhelmed.

Lisa - That sucked. Good-bye.

Kellie - I've never heard that song, but it seems like it should be a fun, light-hearted, exciting song, not a stand in one place and look pissed when you sing it song. She didn't say anything stupid though.

Ace - You're dead to me. Put your ugly scar away. It actually didn't sound as bad when they played it on the radio this morning. I think seeing his obvious nervousness is off-putting. I hate when people point to their eyes when they sing about crying and their heads when they sing about minds, but pointing to a scar when you sing about scars is the worst. Yes, as Rusty pointed out, they're amateurs, but wouldn't the vocal coaches tell them not to freaking do that? And weirdly, his scar repulses me yet wants me want to have him rest his head on my bosom at the same time.

Taylor - I made popcorn during his performance and Rusty sprayed breath spray and went upstairs and asked my boyfriend if he was nude, so we both missed it.

Mandisa - That was bad. Pitchy, if you will. And I didn't hate it only because it was gospel because my favorite performance of Nadia's last year was a gospel song.

Chris - Shut up, Chris. Creed sucks.

Katharine - What in blazes was that outfit? I don't think I've ever seen a worse outfit than that. She sounded ok, but I don't know the song she sang.

Bucky - I still love Bucky. I don't know that song, but I think he was one of the best of the night.

Paris - Yikes! The outfit! The hair! The dancing! I don't want to hear a 17-year-old sing about having sex on the floor because she can't make it to the bedroom.

Elliott - He was really good, but I think he screwed up a bunch of words.


Blogger Dim said...

Not-Dim's assessment of the night (by the way, Simon's comments were almost all dead-on):

Lisa - If she's not gone, to quote Al Pacino in ...And Justice for All, "Something reeeeally wrong is going on here!"

Kellie - What a boring song. She was bad too.

Ace - I'm sorry, this guy sucks. I've been underwhelmed by him from the beginning and if he wasn't so pretty, he would have been voted off long ago. If all you needed to achieve your childhood dreams is less-than-mediocre talent but devastatingly good looks, I would have been an astronaut a long time ago. I hate the "reaching out to me with trembling hands" I have to endure with him and I don't give a crap what he says, I know a fake, glue on Halloween costume scar when I see it. What's coming up next week, Ace? Fake plastic dog poop as a prop?

Taylor - the second best male voice on the show. I like him.

Mandisa - I'm officially off the Mandisa train. Simon's right. She's over-indulgent. She over-sings EVERYTHING. She has two settings: Not singing and singing her friggin head off. There's no in-between.

Chris - Wow, what shitty taste in music he has. Has ZERO ability to do anything else other than emulate Creed and Creed-like singers. A good voice, but one-dimensional and that one-dimension has to include songs by bands that I despise. I really hope he doesn't win.

Katharine - Don't know the song, but I still have the McPheever, the McGriddle, the McRib...

Bucky - I didn't know half the words he said either, but he was far from the worst last night. If he gets voted off, it's because they railroaded him. He deserves to stay...for now.

Paris - That was the first performance of hers that I really didn't like at all.

Elliott - the best male singer of the bunch. If they chose an Idol of each gender, he should win. But since they don't, he won't.

Lisa should go tonight, but I can easily see Ace on the ropes too. I wouldn't be surprised to see Bucky in the bottom three either, though he definitely doesn't deserve that fate after last night.

- Not D.

3/29/2006 9:30 AM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Not Dim, I laughed so hard at your Ace comments. I pretty much agree with you except I can't stand Taylor. I hate this season. Everyone I thought I'd like turned out to suck ass.

3/29/2006 10:50 AM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Well, I was going to clarify your comment about Taylor, but I don't feel like it. It doesn't really matter.

As usual, I agree with your assessments, mainly because I was there with you at the time and we discussed it.

I still love Mandisa, but last night wasn't great. You'd think a gospel song would be awesome for her, but she just didn't bring it.

I thought Bucky was good last night! Kellie was awful. Paris is WAY to young to be dancing like that and singing about sex (ew). I love Elliott, but I know he won't win. Chris is awfully one-dimensional, but I think he'll win because it's rigged.

I don't feel like discussing anyone else. :)

Oh! Except Katharine! Jenny and I turned to each other with wide eyes when they showed her teaser before the break and burst out laughing when we saw each other's faces. We were so horrified at her outfit!

3/29/2006 12:24 PM  
Blogger B. said...

My turn. Since I called Kevin's departure last week, I'm gonna go with Lisa this week.

Ok. Taylor was the best last night.

Jenny and Rusty--I TOTALLY commented on the buttugliness of Katharine's outfit too. I also thought that Elliot looked like he was homeless dressed like that.

Basically, other than Taylor, I didn't like any of the other performances...oh, except Bucky, he was pretty good. I'm a sucker for Tim McGraw songs!

3/29/2006 4:44 PM  
Blogger Sticky Keys said...

When he said scar, and then showed his scar? PRICELESS.

And I have two friends going to see and take pics of BRitney's twat! I'll let you know when they are up!

ps. HI!

4/04/2006 11:36 AM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Hey, Sticky! Yeah, that was pretty bad. LOL Can't wait to see those pics!

4/05/2006 9:24 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home