Tuesday, September 26, 2006

It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp

Karen's post about buying clothes at Target inspired me to get up off my ass and buy new clothes, which I desperately need. The repressed preppy in me became excited at her mention of argyle and houndstooth. When my parents bought me clothes I was all about the Gap and j. crew, but now that I'm an adult and have other bills to pay, I go to Target. Besides, Gap and j. crew don't sell tampons and greeting cards, and I'm all for one-stop shopping. I don't usually buy trendy stuff because I go clothes shopping about once every five years, so what I buy has to have staying power. I have some clothes from high school that I still wear. Unfortunately most of them don't fit, but that's another story. I perused Target's fall fashion catalog online and found that it is still no fun being 5'1 with some extra baggage.

Leggings: I wore stretch pants in middle school. They had stirrups. They were ill-advised. I prefer not to c
: *shudder* This reminds me of middle school when we tight-rolled our jeans. I'd like to tight roll the neck of the person who brought this look back. Not only is this a horrible look for short people, but I have massive clown feet and I use boot cuts to make them look smaller.

Tunics: I suppose the point of tunics is to elongate the torso, but this is not a good look when you have junk in the trunk as I do.

Wide belts: Just what I want to call attention to: my mid-section!

Shoes: My love of shoes is pretty much the only girly thing about me. Guess what's hot this season?! Ballet flats!! Nothing will give me height like shoes with a 1/8-inch sole!

Gauchos: Ugh. Do you realize how short and stumpy my legs would look in these things? I think they look cool on tall girls, but on me? Not so much.

Palazzo pants: Longer than gauchos, these look like too-short slacks. Just what I need: something to make my legs look fatter and shorter.


Blogger March to the Sea said...

I'm an adult and have other bills to pay, I go to Target. Besides, Gap and j. crew don't sell tampons and greeting cards, and I'm all for one-stop shopping.

-gold!!! SO GOOD. HAHAHA

9/26/2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Wow, I inspired someone to do something?! :)

Your list of fashion flotsam has made me weep for fall's prospects all over again. Well, that's a little dramatic maybe, but it reminded me that most of the clothes out there look s****y.

I said to Hubby John this weekend after flipping through all of the Sunday circulars and tossing them on the floor in disgust that the fashion industry shouldn't be allowed to bring back any fads until the people who wore them the first time are all dead and can't be haunted by their memory.

9/26/2006 4:46 PM  
Blogger EnnuiHerself said...

Shopping at Target is also hard for people who are tall but curvy. I like their stuff and, more importantly, their prices. However Target tailors their clothes for women who have, ahem, "athletic" figures (read: no boobs or hips).

Once I had to try on pants 2-3 sizes larger than my normal size just to be able to even get them on. The pair I had on fit my hips but were big in the legs and butt and HUGE in the waist.

Why can't curvy girls have cheap clothes too?!


9/26/2006 8:26 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

March: Gracias.

Karen: Yeah, but I didn't actually go buy anything :) LOL I agree. There are no fads from my middle school years that I ever want to see again!

Ennui: I have to buy bigger sizes at Target too. I guess they're not high-end enough to vanity size things.

9/26/2006 8:50 PM  
Blogger Funky Smith said...

Oh man I so agree! I'm 5'1" and unfortunately Target just has nothing for me. I have found some great things in the past, but their trend of following trends has really got me down.

9/26/2006 10:26 PM  
Blogger oMeSSiaHo said...

Fuck all of this fashion shit. If you have to adhere what some company says is cool you are lost. No matter what I think you are the hottest girl ever JennyG!

9/27/2006 3:50 AM  
Blogger Caroline said...

I like the tunic length t-shirts b/c they don't bunch up after you've washed and shrunk them a few times. I was just there last week and they had some good shoes. I'm a big fan of wedges b/c I'm short too, and they give me a little height. I don't like really high shoes b/c I can't walk in them hehe.

9/27/2006 1:52 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Title: hilariously genius. Theme: shared, even surpassed by about 100 pounds. Fall fashion: atrocious.

9/28/2006 7:25 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Funky: They're definitely getting more trendy. I don't like that.

Mess: Something nice!? I'm going to pass out! Thanks :).

Caroline: You're thin though! I can wear really high shoes as long as they don't have a thin heel.

Rusty: Thanks! I know you feel me.

9/29/2006 10:45 AM  
Blogger Gina Marie said...

Sorry this comment is a long time in coming.

RE leggings... they are HUGE in Sweden right now. All my students wear them. I had considered buying a pair, not as a fashion statement, but more for something to keep my legs warm in the winter. But... they are everywhere here. I'm surprised they hit the US so quickly.

Also big in Sweden. Stuffing your jeans/pants into your tube socks, so there is a great big buldge around your ankles. Don't ask me, I'm as UN-trendy as they come.

9/29/2006 1:49 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

Gina: Good god, I hope the tube sock thing stays on that side of the Atlantic.

10/01/2006 12:33 PM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

"what I buy has to have staying power"

I am so with you on that! lol

10/02/2006 12:16 AM  

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