It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp
Karen's post about buying clothes at Target inspired me to get up off my ass and buy new clothes, which I desperately need. The repressed preppy in me became excited at her mention of argyle and houndstooth. When my parents bought me clothes I was all about the Gap and j. crew, but now that I'm an adult and have other bills to pay, I go to Target. Besides, Gap and j. crew don't sell tampons and greeting cards, and I'm all for one-stop shopping. I don't usually buy trendy stuff because I go clothes shopping about once every five years, so what I buy has to have staying power. I have some clothes from high school that I still wear. Unfortunately most of them don't fit, but that's another story. I perused Target's fall fashion catalog online and found that it is still no fun being 5'1 with some extra baggage.
Leggings: I wore stretch pants in middle school. They had stirrups. They were ill-advised. I prefer not to c: *shudder* This reminds me of middle school when we tight-rolled our jeans. I'd like to tight roll the neck of the person who brought this look back. Not only is this a horrible look for short people, but I have massive clown feet and I use boot cuts to make them look smaller.
Tunics: I suppose the point of tunics is to elongate the torso, but this is not a good look when you have junk in the trunk as I do.
Wide belts: Just what I want to call attention to: my mid-section!
Shoes: My love of shoes is pretty much the only girly thing about me. Guess what's hot this season?! Ballet flats!! Nothing will give me height like shoes with a 1/8-inch sole!
Gauchos: Ugh. Do you realize how short and stumpy my legs would look in these things? I think they look cool on tall girls, but on me? Not so much.
Palazzo pants: Longer than gauchos, these look like too-short slacks. Just what I need: something to make my legs look fatter and shorter.