Nostalgia
When I moved out of my parents' house I took my high school yearbook from my senior year, but I left the others behind because I didn't want to be bothered with lugging them along with the other mountains of junk that I accumulated over my 22 years on this earth. Last weekend I went and picked up the rest of them and was looking through the things people wrote. High school wasn't particularly wonderful for me, but it wasn't that horrible either, and I think I've reached the point where I've forgotten most of the shit and now remember the better things. There were definitely some good times. Now I have this weird desire to reconnect with people from high school. Unfortunately, the people with whom I'd like to reconnect aren't easily found. There are 70 or so people from my graduating class on MySpace (out of about 312), and I care about fewer than 10 of them, and I was already in touch with 3 of those anyway. I could call their parents, but that reeks of desperation. Even if I did reconnect, I'm horrible at returning e-mails, and even worse at returning calls. I don't answer my home phone because of telemarketers and my cell phone is usually at the bottom of my purse, dead.
It has been almost 7 years since I graduated. We had a 6-year reunion last year, but due to the nature of our class officers it was basically a shindig for the popular kids. I wasn't popular. I wasn't a total dork and I was in-school-only friends with some of the popular kids, but for the most part they're not people with whom I feel the need to reconnect; one of these was one of the sweetest guys in the world who died a year and a half ago of brain cancer. I had friends in different groups and I wasn't (and still am not) one for cliques. Our high school was very cliquey and I think it's because our school district was so big that it encompassed ritzy neighborhoods of McMansions, rural ones, and trashy ones.
I'm rambling, but I always get this way at this time of year. Even though I'm out of school, I still remember the often bittersweet feeling of the year coming to a close.
posted by Jenny G @ 3:32 PM
11 Comments:
I for one am glad when the fall rolls around and I never have to go back!
Sometimes when I see a bunch of kids getting ready to go the prom I stop and think back a bit. Had some fun times and things will never be that simple again.
Enjoy it, you little pricks!
I had an OK time in high school. It was my post-high school experience with my high school friends that sucked. Big giant mess and it ended up that I don't hang out with any of them anymore. My closest friend is someone I met at work orientation about 10 years ago.
There are some people from "the old crew" that I do miss...people who didn't have anything to do with the situation that screwed everything up. But I've moved on and I'm sure they have too. Getting in touch, while providing some closure and understanding, would be too weird. I have enough friends. I'm not hiring for that position right now.
That said, fate brought me back in touch with a good friend from that time (he also had nothing to do with the situation) and I'm very grateful for that. But that was different. I wasn't searching that out.
Regardless, you do what's best for you. Reconnecting is scary because sometimes people have changed. Sometimes they haven't. Both can be scary.
If I were to reconnect it is just to laugh at the people who got bald before I go bald myself.
- D.
It's funny, Dim.
When I was a freshman in College I started working on a screenplay about a group of four friends who drift apart after graduation.
I worked on this thing for like two yeards until I finally got pissed and threw in a drawer, where it remained until two weeks ago. I dug it out and started over and just finished the first act.
Guess what?
It STILL sucks! LOL I gave it my buddy I write with and I'm gonna let him take a look at it.
The feelings are still fresh and I think it's a John Hughes, univeral, theme.... American Pie meets the BReakfast Club
We'll see
That article about Ryan made me cry. I'll never forget the shell of a guy in the coffin, compared to the wonderful person we knew. It was terribly sad.
I began a post quite a bit like this a few days ago, but it drained me so much emotionally that I still can't go back and finish it. School, for the most part, was not a good place for me. I've only stayed connected with, officially, two people...one of them being you.
Honestly, I'm so glad I had you in high school, Jenny - you saved me.
I think I need to go cry now.
I'm so sorry about your friend who died. That's a crappy way to go, my uncle died of brain cancer. (((Hugs)))) for you and Rusty.
It is weird how we lose touch with people throughout life, some who we thought we'd always be connected with.
As I get older, sometimes it seems like life is a series of things you love, and then lose. You still love them though.
Sorry if that sounds sad, of course, you gain things too, some beautiful things you never could have expected.
But it's interesting to realize that someday we are all going to die, and therefore, it's ok to let go of stuff/people/pets/homes/places etc.... we aren't going to take it with us, you know? Little by little we let it all go, to prepare us for when we will go too.
Where, we don't know... it's a mystery. Being curious, I secretly feel like I can't wait to find out what happens next.
Hey A.,
That play sounds cool. If you're ever interested in sharing it...you know where to find me!
- D.
I always loved the first day of school. By the middle of August I was ready to go back. I miss having lazy summers though. Working 12 months of the year sucks!
That sucks, Dim. I don't know the situation but maybe it happened to show you who your true friends are. I doubt many people, especially ones who don't start working right out of high school, stay in touch with most hs people.
I'd be interested in reading it too, Annoyed. I love stuff like that.
I'm sort of glad I didn't go to Ryan's funeral. The only open casket funeral I went to was my grandmother's and it freaked me the fuck out to see her in there, not breathing. It was like a mannequin, but it was my grandma. It was actually sort of traumatizing, and that is why I want to be cremeated. Don't cry, Rust. We had some good times. I read what you wrote in my yearbooks and laughed. :)
Thanks, Kate. Hugs right back. I'm sorry about the loss of your uncle. My grandfather had esophageal cancel and went from weighing probably 300 lbs to weighing about 100, and he had to speak with one of those electronic voice box things. That was also traumatizing.
That's what I meant, Jenny - you and I had the BEST times...the rest of high school was awful.
I love reading what we wrote in each other's yearbooks! We really got into some interesting situations, and met some interesting people. I think we must attract them. :) I love looking at the "multimedia display" that you put in my 11th grade yearbook! It never ceases to be hilarious.
I wish you had been there with me at Ryan's viewing, but conversely, I wish I hadn't been there at all to see it, then break down like a fool in front of his parents. That was awful.
Dim and Jenny,
You are both welcomed to it when it's done.... At this rate we'll all be 40!
Well, maybe not Jenny
She is the baby of this bunch
Yeah, she's a young whippersnapper. Actually, B. is even a bit younger!
I feel old.
I guess I'll be putting you all in a home in a few years.
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