Letter to White Trash Neighbor #1

Dear Cletus and/or Brandine,

Please stop throwing your NASCAR memorabilia in my dumpster. You see, I am unable to retrieve my dumpster from the trash area until around 5:30 P.M., because I have this thing you may have heard of: a job. What happens is I go to this building 5 days a week for 8 1/2 hours and do stuff, and then twice a month a paltry amount of money is deposited into my bank account. I know this is probably anal, but I do, in fact, fill my dumpster above capacity every week (I never claimed to be an environmentalist), so I do not need extra trash. Also, my dumpster is clearly marked with my address. This situation raises the question: how does one have such a large amount of NASCAR memorabilia that one is able to throw massive amounts of it away every week? Are you purging the old memorabilia to make room for new; or are you so disillusioned with NASCAR that you have decided that it is perhaps not the best home decor theme? If it is the latter, I support your endeavors fully, but please utilize your own trash receptacle. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Jenny G