Tuesday, February 06, 2007


PEOPLE FROM MARYLAND DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE (No offense, Funky. I'm sure you don't drive like a dumbass.)!!!! They're spreading up here like a bad rash. I've come to terms with dealing with their idiocy while driving around York but I'm not ready to have them on my way up to Harrisburg. This morning I'm driving along going about 80 (yes, it's speeding, but I was going along with traffic) in the passing lane when this bitch decides that she NEEDS to be in my lane. So she pulls right in front of me without signaling, of course. I guess crappy, rusted out teal Honda Civics from the 80s don't have turn signals. I'm an asshole when I drive, so I didn't brake, I just rode her ass. Then, for no apparent reason, she slams on her brakes causing me to slam mine so hard that my anti-lock brakes came on. Thank god no one rear-ended me. I thought she was messing with me for riding her ass, but no, she randomly decided she needed to get back in the right lane. Then when I went past her she got back behind me, so I thought she was going to ride my ass for riding hers, but no, she proceeded to drive about 65 in the passing lane, causing backlogs behind her. I continued to watch her weave in and out of lanes in front of people till I got off and took back roads while her bitch ass was stuck in lovely I-83 morning backlogs.

Guess what, Marylanders? When you move up here into your McMansion neighborhoods that are 95% people from Maryland, you force the school districts to build new schools, raising taxes; you force the townships to change the roads to accommodate the additional traffic, raising taxes; and you screw up the housing market, driving the prices through the roof. Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of moving up here for cheaper living? Also, 83 in Pennsylvania is only two lanes each direction. That means that when you're in the left lane you drive with traffic, which is usually going ABOVE the speed limit, except for when there is an 18-wheeler inexplicably in the left lane going 45 up a huge hill, but that's a rant for another time. You don't putter along at 5 miles under. On 83 in Maryland, which has 2 billion lanes, the people who aren't idiots can get around you. In PA they can't. Drive fast or stay to the right, bitches.

I should've submitted her to this site.

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Blogger Gina Marie said...

I despise people who drive slow in the left lane. When I'm in the left lane, I pass the car in the right and be done with it. Either I stay in the left lane to pass more cars or I move back over to the right. Road Etiquette. Simple.

I empathize with you, Jenny. I deal with the same shit on the bypass through Central PA.

2/06/2007 8:44 PM  
Blogger Funky Smith said...

I have a theory. They're not Marylanders. They're from DC and they've been slowly creeping into Maryland suburbs for the last two decades. I guess they've finally made it to you. Assholes.

2/06/2007 10:39 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

I would say I'm really glad I don't have to deal with the Marylanders anymore on the road (because they're a huge pain in the ass), but now I deal with North Carolinians, and, strangely, New Yorkers and Floridians, so now I have a whole new problem. Compared to this, I'd take the Marylanders any day.

2/07/2007 6:42 AM  
Blogger Annoyed said...

Same shit in New Jersey.

Try driving around Manhatten in a 15 passenger van for a living....

I nearly ate it about 10 times last year.... one time, it was my fault.

But I swear I didn't know it was a one way when I drove down it the wrong direction ;-0

2/07/2007 9:44 PM  
Blogger metamorphose said...

Utah is notorious for having some of the worst drivers in the nation.

I feel your pain.

2/08/2007 6:23 PM  

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